Cleanse Master Remix

Email from My Angry Colon

2011-04-26T13:10:00.004-04:00

I haven't fasted or cleansed in so long that my colon sent me an angry email. All CAPS. Starting with, "YOU HEFFA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

Right now, my life represents one of the most wonderful and frightening transitions. After 14 years in my profession (the last 12 with the same company), I got flushed down the toilet of "downsizing."

I almost didn't blink at the turn of events. My sixth sense had already detected the scent of trouble. In case you didn't know, corporate financial trouble kinda smells like burnt bologna and fried nerves. But I digress...

I immediately saw this as an opportunity to (1) take a much needed forced vacation and (2) to pursue deferred dreams that I previously filed under "Yeah. Right." More importantly, I'm blessed with the opportunity to cleanse in other ways by focusing on stress, proper diet, and luxuriating in the cure for my former Monday blah's.

My next fast/cleanse likely won't be a Master Cleanse. After a long absence and a tongue-lashing from an angry colon, my bravery meter looks a lot like it did before my first cleanse experience. But I do intend to complete one of two drastic departures from bacon cheeseburgers: (1) A 3-day water fast or (2) A 7-day fruit and veggie fast.

I'll chronicle that experience here, along with my efforts to grow a pair for my next Master Cleanse. Until then, I have an angry email to answer...

Shame Shame Shame

2008-10-23T14:15:00.008-04:00

From what I gather on the internet, this picture represents a day of shameful stair-scapades for Miss. Thailand. Po' chile. You know she felt like seeping into the floor once the folks on the right finally peeled her off the floor.

Notice how the folks on the left are still in shock and haven't stopped clapping their hands yet? But I digress.

As the current poster child for unhealthy living, that's ME falling down those darned stairs. (Only I wouldn't do it in a short skirt and slingback shoes, but I digress again.)

Just like doctors who smoke and firemen who start fires, I have more-than-average knowledge about health/nutrition and I'm not acting on that knowledge in a positive way.

Ain't that a cryin' shame?

I know one thing. I hope you keep reading this blog. Because if I can get my ish together and get healthy A-N-Y-B-O-D-Y can. Seriously. And all my dirty little laundry along the way will be hanging on a line right here for you to gawk at.

Ahhh.... The day I should be basking in the sunlight of my own cleanse...

2008-09-02T16:01:00.002-04:00

But I'm sitting under a thunder cloud of poor preparation. In the craze of getting the kids ready to return to school, I never made it to the store for my ingredients. So while I was sitting on a mountain like the wise King Solomon... waving my hand to the newbies below and telling them that the best advice is to PREPARE... I was running around like a blind mouse failing at my own preparations.

This weekend, here I come.

Now lemme go read my own advice again since I fell off the side of my wisdom mountain like Humpty Dumpty.

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth: Know Your Food Allergies and Sensitivities

2008-08-28T14:03:00.000-04:00

Don't ask me when. Don't ask me why. But in a blog post a loooooong time ago, I challenged my readers to use post-cleanse life to get a grip on food sensitivities and food allergies. Since then, a male coworker happily told me that he tried the experiment and discovered a food allergy.

Here's how it works:

Food sensitivities and full-blown food allergies are tied to medical conditions ranging from irritating rashes to asthma.

And there's a way to start identifying such nuisances on your own - by stripping down to a basic diet and adding one type of food at a time.

And what better time than after a Master Cleanse?

It is very difficult to identify offending foods during the normal daily routine. Imagine the foods you ate in the past week. If just a single food was causing an unpleasant health problem, how in the world would you be able to isolate it?

That's where the Master Cleanse, aka The Gift Horse, comes in...

As you (may already) know, the day after the Master Cleanse begins with orange juice. Then comes vegetable soup. After that, folks' eating habits range from vegetarian to bacon-cheeseburger-tarian. The gloves are off and anything goes. Why not use the valuable time after a cleanse to slowly re-introduce old foods and see if a particular food choice triggers a sensitivity or full-blown allergy?

Folks with ailments such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), asthma, skin conditions and even Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) may find relief from symptoms by eliminating troublesome foods.

And don't you deserve it?

So don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The digestive tract is sparkling clean after a 10-day cleanse. Use that precious time to explore food options and possibly arrest some culprits.

Advice To Tashia the Newbie from Hawaii

2008-08-25T09:54:00.011-04:00

I dedicate this post to Tashia and all the other Master Cleanse newbies who haven't taken the plunge.

What advice can I give to first timers? Here goes my attempt to sound smart and helpful in just two words...

Plan well.

I can't tell you how many times newbies underestimate the initial lemon purchase. Buy lots. Buy too many. Pretend they're going out of style. Then buy even more than that.

Don't start without all of the ingredients and pretend you'll make it to the store on the day you begin. That is a serious cleanse-killer, because the trip to the store may be interrupted by a bacon cheeseburger. Or the detour could become the excuse to just "try again another time."

If you live alone, get rid of your favorite foods. If that means eating them before you start... you can do that too. hehe

If you cook for a family, like I do, I find planning a menu very helpful. That way, I only buy the food I need for them and don't spend so much time browsing the options.

Pre-plan what you'll tell those around you, from family to co-workers. Whether on purpose or not, those folks can be major cleanse-killers by offering food or talking about what a "dangerous thing you're doing." Get in the zone and be ready for them.

You may want to 'cleanse before the cleanse.' Some folks prepare by cleaning-up their act the week before. In our Yahoo! Group, the general consensus is that coffee drinkers have a hard time with detox headaches. If you drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, sippy-sippy on the alcohol or eat a lot of refined carbohydrates, you many want to wean off these things in the days leading to the cleanse.

And I can't end without recommending our awesome support group at the Yahoo! Mastercleanse group. Don't underestimate the value of talking to other folks going through the same drama as you!

Bonus advice. Measure your lemon juice every single time you mix. Some have 'rule-of-thumb' estimates about the amount of juice a single lemon holds. I measure every single drink, because juice yield can vary. Stanley Burroughs is very clear that the juice measurement is not negotiable for each glass. This isn't Walmart. Cut corners and you'll get what you pay for... And I'm not talking about cheap gadgets painted with toxic materials and flesh-eating rubber sandals.

As always, you can search through my blog posts to find a few more gems... like the priceless value of Bordeaux Butt Paste and the benefits of local bathroom maps. hehe

Happy Cleansing!

My Next Cleanse is Looming Like a Storm Cloud

2008-08-21T19:10:00.002-04:00

My last cleanse was January 2007. I went 13 days, and I felt like Rocky running up all those dang steps. Only I had lemonade in my water bottle.

As August 2008 nears an end, I sit nervously planning a September 1 cleanse.

What!? You didn't know that old cleanse veterans still get nervous?

Anyway, every cleanse is so different that the 5th can feel like the 1st.

Who knows if the 3rd day will be tough or if symptoms will wait until the 8th day? Who knows if the SWF will work in 1 hour or 3 hours? And who knows if mental strength will carry for the whole 10+ days?

The first-timer and the veteran have these things in common - the unknown.

Thankfully, the experience under my belt tells me something very important: No matter how hard things get, the benefits will ALWAYS outweigh the mental war. So while I may secretly tremble in my boots, I approach my cleanse with a smile.

When are you starting?

What Does "Living a Cleansed Life" Have to do with "Stress-Free Living?"

2008-08-20T08:00:00.003-04:00

I named this blog "Cleanse Master Remix" because my goal is to address living a healthy life using the Master Cleanse as a single tool. And like many others, I wanted to know, "How do I continue the benefits of the Master Cleanse after my cleanse is over?"

I believe the answer requires the health-conscious to address the Mighty Three - Mind, Body, and Soul. And today, I'm taking aim at STRESS, which applies to the soul and spirit.

Today, I was watching Clean House, which features ~~hopelessly messy pack rats~~ those who can't seem to establish and maintain a neat, harmonious living environment. One commercial break featured yet another diet drug claiming to treat weight gain associated with stress - more specifically the release of the hormone cortisol associated with stress.

During my college studies, I learned in Health and Psychology that cortisol provides critical support for the flight-or-fight response. In other words, when presented with danger, cortisol helps us to do one of two things in an instant (1) stand and fight the threat or (2) evade the danger by fleeing the scene. But living a stressful life extends the release of this hormone which can build to toxic levels. And the human body wasn't built to manage extended release.

According to Advance Health and Life Extension, excessive cortisol levels increase weight gain and makes us susceptible to infections, both major and minor. In other words, "Honey, if you don't manage that stress, you're gonna be one sick overweight puppy."

From a soul and spirit perspective, all that road rage, anger and unforgiveness can be killing you. And don't get me started about the excessive spending, over our budgets, while chasing the Ninetendo Wii at Christmastime.

C'mon. Go with me here. How do you feel when you're stressing about something? Don't you feel like CRAP? What about the times you forgive and go-on with life? Isn't that liberating?

That relief you feel in your mind translates into relieving your body of a toxic environment. Aren't you worth it?

So before you reach for the potentially dangerous diet drugs - like Corticel and other cortisol blockers that supposedly help you manage weight by fighting stress, how about taking a moment to appreciate life and find a little kindness in your heart? Why not forgive your absent parent and stop flipping-off strangers in traffic? Now that, my friends, is living a cleansed life!

Happy Cleansing.

Cleanse Scam (or Not) Alert: Kinoki Foot Pads

2008-08-19T12:42:00.010-04:00

Although I'm a major advocate for improved health through natural means, I'm not naive enough to believe that the natural health industry has fewer scams and dangers than the pharmaceutical industry. At least the natural health scams generally involve products that simply don't work - as opposed to dangerous chemicals that flat-out kill... but that's another blog post.

I developed a healthy curiosity about the Kinoki Foot Pads, a product that supposedly helps draw toxins out of the body through the soles of you feet while you sleep. I didn't discount this product at first view because I understand the cycle of toxin-in, toxin-out.

We can digest toxins via (typically bad) food choices. We inhale them from the environment. We even absorb them through the skin via environmental contaminants, cleaning products, and even daily cosmetics.

Toxins exit through similar doors. We honk them from our nose, sweat them through our glands, and flush them away with old-fashioned visits to the Porcelain Throne.

Even emotions can contribute to a toxic environment where stress and strife produce hormones that the body can't handle in large doses.

And while many laugh at us cleanse buffs because the body is already equipped to handle toxins, I still believe we need a little help because we're eating, inhaling and absorbing them at an unhealthy rate - all while producing even more in fits of road rage and Christmas shopping for the Nintendo Wii.

Back to the point...

Knowing we can eliminate toxins via the pores in our largest organ, the skin, I thought Kinoki might be on to something... Well...

According to a Consumerist writeup of an NPR feature, the Kinoki Foot Pads stink like... well... toxic feet.

Reporter Sarah Varney had a lab analyze used Kinoki pads. The scientist reported that the used pads (with all that brown gunk) didn't vary much in chemistry from a fresh new pad. And it stands to reason it's because the pad didn't actually remove any toxins. Even worse, the brown gunk that is supposed to be "toxic waste" also appears when the pad is held above a pot of boiling water.

Some members of the WikiAnswers community weighed-in on the issue. For the most part, the users screamed scam. A few said they felt a little better, some praised the possible placebo effect, and one urged that 'trying the pads was better than turning to pharmeceutical drugs. Read these excerpts for yourself (below) and follow this link for the entire list:

Happy users (with surprisingly dull responses that could use an energy drink):

Well I used it once and I felt much better.

I was not looking for a cure for anything, so I Im not claiming miracle. I did feel a little better. I have no explanation.

The blessed placebo conspiracy theorists (who clearly had their energy drinks and watch too much X-Files):

I have never used them, nor do I think they work. I think many of the testimonials and other positive feedback about them works with the placebo effect. You believe a desired reaction will occur from a treatment, so your body reacts the way you expect it to when you use above said treatment.

Who cares if it acts a placebo as long as you "think" it is going to work than that is the end result everyone wants. Does anyone really care how we get healed as long as we are healed? While the placebo effect may result in people feeling better, it has no bearing on the claim that the footpads remove any toxins, therefore any change in toxins cannot be explained by the placebo effect.

The "Why Not" gang (with a serious hit out on the pharmaceutical industry):

Why not try? I do not believe there is any published data--proving or disproving--on the Kinoki foot pad approach, but I see no harm in one trying it. Certainly, it would be safer and cheaper than many of the commonly prescribed drugs that cause hundreds of thousands of terrible side effects and early deaths in the United States each year. [excerpt from much longer comment]

My personal opinion having not used the product: There are too many known natural remedies for cleansing the body and promoting health. Of course, I'm a huge fan of the Master Cleanser. There's fruit and veggie cleanses, exercise, excellent herbal remedies, and plain-old better living. There's a 95% chance that I'll pass on this product.

Don't Call It a Comeback ! (I'm Gonna Knock You Out)

2008-08-19T11:11:00.009-04:00

Remember the LL Cool J song "Mama Said Knock You Out?" I'm knockin' some stuff out, and it's great to be back here.

Just when you thought I fell off the edge of the earth... here I am. I returned to the blog today after returning to the Yahoo group as a moderator earlier this summer.

::Deep Inhale:: The air sure is clear in the happy zone.

What a journey I've been on since November 2007. High highs. Low lows. And the net result is that I'm a happy camper.

Should I recap for the newcomers?

Married November 1999.
Husband ran out November 2003.
Divorce final July 2004.
Husband remarried September 2004 (I knew he was seeing that woman!).
Developed some bad... okay, worse... nutritional habits by October 2004 (can you say "comfort food?").
Considered reading "The Perfect Murder Manual" til November 2004 (hehe).
Discovered the Master Cleanse in October 2005.
Overcame the emotional trauma by 2005 through forgiveness, prayer, and growing a set of brass knockers.
Cleansed until November 2006.
Met a wonderful man in November 2006.
Developed more bad habits, mostly associated with enjoying life again.
Got engaged April 2007.
Been smiling ever since.
Started workout training August 6, 2008 (feelin' GREAT, too).
Saw a friggin' calf muscle in my leg and detected a knee-cap on August 15, 2008 (wow, I have those?).
Resurrected the blog on August 20, 2008.

So. There you have it. My road to cleansing and return to this blog in a nutshell.

I expect to start my next cleanse after a family barbeque scheduled for August 30. Until then, I'll keep bringing health news, personal views, and stage cues... anything to help you and me live a cleansed life.

Happy Cleansing!

PS: Notice the updated pic in the sidebar and profile? That was before a date with my sweetheart - the one who makes me laugh, scream, cry, smile - but mostly love with a happy heart.

Oh So Right. Ooooh So Wrong. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2007-11-28T15:25:00.001-05:00

Here I am with one of those bittersweet reports of triumph pie with a side of defeat.

The first two weeks of my fitness journey started out feeling like a failure. Instead of 4 days of strength training, I was only getting two days at 15-20 minutes each. As I poked out my lip and mounted the scale at the end of week 2, I was shocked to see that I was down 7 pounds. And for those of you who need the New International Translation of my crazy ramblings:

The Good News: I was actually down 7 pounds, which equaled 3.5 pounds per week, with no changes to my diet and minimal sweating.

The Bad News: I was actually down 7 pounds, which equaled 3.5 pounds per week, with no changes to my diet and minimal sweating.

Why is the same point good and bad? I found this surprisingly frustrating, because I was totally outed. If it only takes minimal work to establish a healthier weight - why haven't I reached a healthier weight?

Several things come to mind, like:

Bad habits.
The lazy after-a-long-day-work blues.
Or worse, something deep down inside that doesn't really wanna get'er done.

If 15 minutes, two days per week can produce a good result, what could I achieve with 15 minutes of strength training per day?

I can't think of a single good excuse why I don't dedicate 15 minutes of exercise to my daily routine - especially since I waste a good 2 hours watching my favorite TV shows. The excuses get real flimsy when I can even work 15 minutes while I'm watching a favorite TV show.

I'm out of excuses - but not out of drive. Strangely enough, I'm discovering some truth behind all of this useless struggle over my weight while reading:

Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth (Brad Blanton, PhD)

You can read about my fascination with Blanton's Radical Honesty movement:

Here:
Never Tell a Lie: A Social Experiment

and

Here:
Pass the Stuffing... Because Your Thighs Indicate You Should Be Done With It

Until next time, I wish you the best of all health for your mind, body, and spirit.

And as always: Happy Cleansing!

Here and Now

2007-10-24T13:24:00.001-04:00

Three days ago, I started my fitness journey. Although the plan doesn't include a cleanse until November (hopefully with buddy, Mary Lee), I started with my trainer (aka sweetheart) on Sunday.

Mr. Military himself doesn't subscribe to the bounce-your-boobie school of sweating off the pounds. Yeah, walks are fine, but his routine is all about strength training.

After the first two days, I'm feeling a little like an old lady. Who got hit by a car. Off a cliff. In the rain.

Workout days are Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. I can add a Friday or Saturday if I like. But right now I don't feel like adding anything except an ice pack and a burger.

We sat together and wrote a 4-week goal before I started on Sunday. I took the following measurements as points to track my progress on a weekly basis.

1. Weight
2. Calves
3. Thighs
4. Hips
5. Waist
6. Chest
7. Arms

This coming Sunday will be my first weigh-in and checkup on body measurements. I'll post the results here by Monday night... or sooner if I'm having great results (of course). *smile*

Happy Cleansing, and even Happier Living !

Can't Start Now - The Typical Cleanse Killer

2007-10-03T11:30:00.001-04:00

Some folks cleanse like crack addicts... scratching and twitching for the next cleanse "hit." Many times at the Yahoo group, the moderator team had to express concerns to men and women who fantasized about the cleanse "high" -- and wanted to know if "a week in between cleanses is enough."

Because of that, I made sure to keep my cleansing in check... leaving at least three months in between and not trying to cleanse until I shrank and simply disappeared.

But right now, I'm feeling a little like the cleanse-addict. I haven't been on one in quite a while, and I'm starting to feel like I NEED it.

I'm sure that position is justified. I have been an absolute louse towards my body and my general health. Everybody and everything (take a number) has priority status. Boyfriend, children, new puppy, work schedule, and heck, even my favorite TV shows - complete with soft pillow, evening beverage and possibly a crappy snack. This just won't do.

So my feet are back on the cleanse road, and the dang startup challenges are the same. Does any of this sound familiar?:

1. My son turns 15 and his party is this weekend. Can't start now. Hafta have cake.

2. Sweetheart has been wanting a date for a while now. We try for each weekend. Can't start now. Hafta be able to eat out.

3. The good ole' monthly cycle might be starting soon. Can't start now. There's nothing worse than cleansing during that time of the month.

No matter how much of a veteran you are, you always run the risk of sounding like a confused newbie when it's time to cleanse again. :-)

When Stress Holds the Trump Card

2007-08-20T17:30:00.000-04:00

As you know, I am a huge supporter of the idea that cleansing the body is essentially a waste if the mind and spirit don't follow. And I notice that challenges in one area often upsets the balance in another.

I have a list of "soul" irritants that have me fantasizing about the lemonade. In other words, I'm craving a body fix for things that are challenging my mind and spirit:

1. Mom hates the boyfriend and would stab him if it was legal. Instead, I get stabbed with her tongue.

2. I haven't found a new church home since my old church ceased to exist around December 2006.

3. The rental unit is performing about as well as a rock in a 100-yard hurdle competition.

4. I got a glowing annual review at work, but the raise indicated that I must spend my days sleeping on my desk while snoring loudly.

In other words, stress dealt some wicked trump cards on me in recent months. By this past Sunday, I was emotionally exhausted and wanted nothing more than a vacation - or at least a box of Calgon.

Will a cleanse of my body (Master Cleanse) help with this emotional exhaustion? By all accounts - including my own... a cleanse just may be in order. Besides the health benefits, a cleanse generates a dramatic change in the daily routine. That "change of pace" is enough to help inspire a new perspective.

Some take sabbaticals and come back with glowy hair and flawless skin. For those of us with a more-than-hectic life, our sabbatical may lie just inside a glass of cleansing lemonade.

More later as I brush the dust from these blogging fingers.

Dusty Blogger Returns

2007-08-18T09:27:00.000-04:00

I'm Back!
Changes on the job and a growing "To Do" list kept me away from this blog since May. So... I wanna say a warm "hello" and "thanks for waiting" to my regular readers.

Virgin cleansers often come trembling with fears about "missing food" and "cleanse symptoms like the bathroom trips." But by far, anybody who has ever cleansed understands that the biggest challenge is living a cleansed life after completing a cleanse regimen.

For some people, living a cleansed life simply means keeping a clean colon by eating the right stuff. But for me, the goal encompasses mind, body, and spirit. And if I had to make an assessment of my "Wagon Status..." I would say that I'm off the wagon right now - like a cabbage head rolling of the back of the wagon after hitting a pothole. hehe

Simple vs. Easy
I agree with BluJewel's comment that eating properly is simple. But most who fight the battle with me will agree with this: It's simple, but it's not easy.

The battle is simple, because the rules are not complicated. Shop more. Buy more "living foods" such as produce. Prepare more meals fresh. Stay away from funky additives.

But the battle isn't easy because we've developed relationships with crappy food for reasons from convenience, to laziness, to emotional eating. Enough people lose the battle each day to prove how a simple idea can be strangely difficult to live by.

So I'm here... back at the blog... to renew my passion for writing about the MasterCleanse and for healthy living beyond the lemonade.

Stay in good health, and thanks for returning with me!

Fe.ar Fac.tor

2007-05-17T13:36:00.001-04:00

It's time for another cleanse, and I have the nervous jitters of a school girl. And it isn't even about the fasting, the lemonade, or the butt pee. It's about another attempt to pursue a healthy life that may fall into a bucket of Hot Wings.

I am the first one to admit that a cleanse is faaaaaaar from a magic bullet. But most people, including myself, enter a cleanse with high hopes of continuing a healthier lifestyle. Invariably, the water heater will die, the job will get stressful, or (women) have a period swoop in like a hurricane - - and suddenly Hershey's becomes your best friend.

In the balance of health vs. weight loss... my attitude has changed greatly over the past 10 years. In my 20's, I was more concerned about a dress size than living a long healthy life. And in some cases, I considered sacrificing my health to be a size 6.

But now, I want a long life with my parents, my sons, by sweetheart, and anybody else I was placed on this earth to love and serve.

And because of that, I'll keep my high hopes for the long healthy life that can follow this next cleanse. Fear is not a Factor for me. hehe

I'm Almost Ready for the Lemon Spree

2007-05-01T14:24:00.001-04:00

I finally said it out loud. It's finally going to happen. I'm ready for my next cleanse.

But my eyes aren't on my butt. I'm not pinching the extra "love" on my waist. My eye is on the spiritual benefits of fasting. Sure, I won't complain if I come out looking like Moses, with a new glow around my face. But I'm most ready for the prayer and solitude that comes with fasting.

It's amazing that anybody could feel spiritual with all that running to the bathroom. But I must admit, after all the good - the bad - and the ugly is calculated, a successful cleanse is like a breath of fresh air.

More later...

Hiding Under a Rock

2007-04-25T09:28:00.001-04:00

I haven't posted since April 3rd. I wonder if it's because I've been hiding under a rock, hoping I didn't have to admit that:

1. Pasta and I recently became friends again and
2. Because of that, I'm still only maintaining the 10.5 pounds that I lost 2 months ago.

With diabetes on both sides of my family, I really can't play around with refined carbohydrates and extra weight on my body. I am blessed to remain in good health, but the underlying concern is always, "How long?"

I recently had a conversation about busy lives and convenience - eating out of boxes, bags, and food joints that value quantity over quality. I don't have a life that affords me hours of Martha Stewart time to prepare top notch meals. But then again, Do I?

Everybody finds time for the things they find important. And if I look at the time I have left at the end of the work day... I wonder if I simply find other things more important.

I typically get home around 6pm (sometimes later)... leaving me a good 3.5 hours before the children must go to bed. I use 1/2 hour of that to detox from the day, and another 1/2 hour dealing with "after school" issues. And perhaps my problem is that I don't want to spend a huge portion of the remaining 2.5 hours in a kitchen.

I am blessed to have a beau who loves to cook and does it well. Yesterday, he prepared a seared steak fried rice with salad. I almost locked my son in the closet when he simply asked, "Dang mom. Why didn't you ever cook like this?" What I do cook is good, but I don't know how to cook steak and forget a rice dish.

So perhaps at the end of the day, living a life of good love and good health is about accepting the help that we're blessed to receive. Whether you have a great partner who shares the chores or a great friend who will be your buddy in the travel to good health - keep running the race until something clicks and you find the balance required to achieve the most important priorities.

Knee Deep in a Bucket of Hot Wings

2007-04-03T12:54:00.001-04:00

Well dang. Where have I been? I would say "knee deep in a bucket of hot wings," but the truth is a little worse than that. At least hot wings aren't loaded with processed carbs - which have crept back in to my routine like ants to a picnic.

I have returned to "snacking," although I snack less often than I used to. I also returned to having some soda and eating foods with "white" carbs in them. In spite of my overall habits having improved over the last 3 years, I'm in a health funk.

It's time for the cleanse I've been avoiding since the middle of March. I had a few good excuses going... like my birthday, my sweetheart's birthday, and oh yeah..... the full moon. But now I'm out of options, unless I have a rare disease that requires me to eat Easter Eggs every Easter Sunday or I'll implode.

The real disease is a deadly allergy to bathing suits - especially bikinis - because if I don't get on the move, I won't be stepping a single foot into swim recreation this summer.

The last thing I want to do is make cleansing/fasting/weight loss about appearance. On a certain level, appearance should be a concern. Looking your best (not somebody else's best) is a sign that you have a healthy love for yourself.

But on the most important level, I want to live a long healthy spiritual life that doesn't include a team of medical specialists and a medicine cabinet full of prescription drugs. And oh yeah, I also don't want my future to include a trip thru the roof because only a crane can get me out of the house.

That may sound like an extraordinary exaggeration, but the unhealthy people and severely obese folks didn't just wake up with a mountain of health problems. They're the product of a series of actions (and lack of actions) that multiplied into a big mess. That means the war is fought daily. Today I fight once again as I purchase my lemons (after putting down an old favorite and recent weakness - Andy Capp's Hot Fries). ::sigh:: hehe

The Good News and the Bad News...

2007-03-21T10:38:00.002-04:00

So here I am at the halfway mark of the Weight Loss Challenge. It appears the other participants have dropped out one-by-one. But I'm still here with a goal to lose 40 pounds in 20 weeks.

At the halfway point, I'm still maintaining an 11-pound weight loss. I'm clearly short of the 20 pounds I should have shed by now. That's the bad news.

The good news is... I maintained the weight. As strange as that sounds, maintaining a loss hasn't been a historical strong point for me. But over the last 6 - 7 weeks, I discovered the magic to holding a constant weight. And learning that is just as valuable to me now as losing a few extra pounds.

I finally broke down and hired a personal trainer. Only he's free. And he's cute. And he knows how to cook vegetables.

My sweetie was going to go into personal training at one point, and he's always been the best candidate for the job. But I have avoided his help out of embarrassment. Although he doesn't have a single complaint about me, I'm not sure I want him to see me collapse after struggling through a workout.

"Honey, if you love me, just give me oxygen.
Oh yeah. And a pepperoni pizza."

At 44, he maintains like a 20-year old. And at 36, I'd probably need hospitalization after a set of push-ups. Like 2 push-ups.

But the sincerity of his heart wins the day and I finally requested his services. His loving reply to my request:

"I want my family - me, you, and the boys -
to be fit and live long lives. I love y'all."

Dang.

Life Expectancy and Health

2007-03-01T13:43:00.001-05:00

I ran into a friend whose mother recently died at the ripe old age of 62. Young. Too young.

After holding his hand and offering my love and support, we got into a conversation about life expectancy and health.

His mother had been sick for quite a while, and he was finding comfort that she finally escaped the suffering. As he pondered the idea, he was drawn into a thought about life expectancy. Without any statistics, he concluded this from his gut:

"If you can live to the age of 55 and still be healthy, you can expect to live out your life expectancy feeling great. If you're sick and on pills by 35 and 45 years old, what do you have to look forward to?"

Something about his statement rang true with me. The television is loaded with drug ads directed at patients. People in their 20s, 30s, and 40s are choosing drugs over healthier alternatives, and the rate seems alarming. So now I am terribly curious: "Is there truth to the need to stay healthy at younger and younger ages? Should we be more concerned about eating junk food and ruining our bodies before we're threatened by our approaching 40s?"

I visited the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and followed the stats to the NCHS (National Center for Health Statistics). As it turns out, my friend wasn't far off regarding the importance of having good health earlier in life. The NCHS reports the following life expectancy stats (figures updated in 2004):

Life Expectancy at Birth (for all races):
Women: 80.4 years
Men: 75.2 years

BUT, if you manage to live to the age of 65, expectancy changes as follows:

Life Expectancy at Age 65 (for all races):
Women: 85.0
Men: 82.1

The trend continues upwards if you live another decade:

Life Expectancy at Age 75 (for all races):
Women: 85.7
Men: 87.8

In other words, the longer you live, the longer you are expected to live. Sounds crazy, but making it to the next decade is the mark of a healthy person who can expect extended years.

And to add my own spice, the sooner you can get and stay healthy, the better life you will have. Who wants to carry a health fight into old age? And why run the risk that your increased age will make the fight much harder?

This reminds me of what a treasured mentor told me years ago.

"If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken care of myself."

The sentiment behind his comment was regret. I pray that you, my readers, will never have to live those words.

Here's to living a cleansed and healthy life, so you can enjoy more vibrant years!

[You can download a PDF of the CDC statistics here.]
The link goes directly to the PDF and not another landing page...

Weight Loss Challenge 2007 - PMS and Monster Scouts

2007-02-21T15:19:00.002-05:00

The Girl Scouts struck again with Caramel deLites. I'm waiting for Fatties Anonymous to launch a battery of lawsuits against those sweet little monster scouts and their delicious boxed treats. hehe

Actually, I fought PMS and bloating all week... a time when I crave chocolate and carbs. It's a miracle that I only put on 1.5 pounds during the fight, and I am so happy to be back on track. That still puts my total weight loss at 10.5 pounds.

I did my Turbo Jam last night, and I'm ready to graduate from the Learn & Burn DVD.

I must give props to my supportive beau, who cooked a wonderful meal yesterday, leaving enough of the carb-less version for me to have lunch at work. Poor preparation has been my worst enemy - especially leaving home without lunch.

He started with Baby broccoli in a little butter and spices. He sauteed onions and added a few crumbles from my horseradish/cheddar burger mix. He continued by adding baked chicken wingettes, and by now the kitchen smells like a gourmet restaurant. I took out my portion before he finished the one-pot dish with long-grain rice and vermicelli.

I was terribly annoyed that my 7-year old ate his entire bowl. No - TWO entire bowls. Veggies and all. My beau is such a show-off, and I love him for it. I wonder if I'll be ready to enjoy beaches in a swimsuit with him by the summer. He loves boats. He loves to fish. After 14 years in the Navy, he just loves water.

Check back soon. I expect to report excellent progress over the next few weeks.

Weight Loss Challenge 2007 - UPDATE

2007-02-13T10:05:00.002-05:00

So I made it through the first 5 weeks of the challenge. My goal was to lose 2 pounds per week. I am slightly ahead, losing 12 pounds in the first 5 weeks - not to mention all the wonderful inches that make my clothes fit great.

But lurking under that success was a measly 1 pound weight loss last week. It wasn't the pasta. It wasn't the bread. It wasn't even Hershey's chocolate. It was something much more sinister that could be knocking on your door right now. It was Girl Scouts.

I was determined not to get dragged into the wicked world of those cute boxes and delicious treats. I walked by dozens and dozens of boxes in front of the grocery store and other places. I returned the sweet tiny voice, "Would you like to buy some cookies?" with my own sweet, "Not today, but good luck to you."

I was on top of the world. Until an evil co-worker put out a Girl Scout cookie display that looked like a bonanza. Oh the sweet little boxes, lined-up like soldiers. As I tried to walk by, a purple box of Caramel DeLites reached out. Seriously. The tab popped and grabbed my shirt. I tried to fight, but the box was too strong. I screamed for mercy and threw my $3.50 into the money envelope.

I ate 9 cookies and slammed the lid. I went home and did Turbo Jam.

I couldn't trash the box. "I'll just save them for somebody. I hate to waste good cookies."

But the next day, I polished the box and rushed back to Turbo Jam. That's the only reason I was able to manage a pound that week.

These are the truths about attempting a major weight loss. There are mountain-top experiences, and then there are valleys paved with cookies. ::sigh:: Oh well. I'm still in great spirits and my weight continues to travel in the right direction. :-)

Poor Planning and Your Paunch

2007-02-06T13:12:00.002-05:00

I am suddenly a believer in old advice I heard regarding health habits - that preparation can make the difference between losing 100 pounds or gaining 50.

These weeks following my last cleanse have been quite an experience. I have more positive food habits than ever. I rarely eat carbs, and I don't load when I do. I drink water and incorporate more exercise. I feel great and had to note a player who helped this major change:

P R E P A R A T I O N

Did you ever notice how you eat whatever is available? Walk into a conference room with donuts, and suddenly it's Donut Monday. Walk into a meeting with candy, and suddenly it's a Sweet Meeting.

The same is true at home. The contents of your cabinets become your "availability." Don't stock those cabinets with junk from floor to ceiling and complain that it is impossible to lose weight.

I spent a few evenings preparing the proper food choices which made my days easier. Today, I came with carb-lite/carb-free selections like meatloaf and deviled eggs. My belly is full while managing to avoid the Carb Party Box called the vending machines.

I say all this to encourage you to put first things first. The average person who complains of being "too busy" can still find time for a favorite television show or other random nighttime activities. Use part of that time to lovingly prepare foods that nourish instead of harm your body. I'm starting to enjoy the time I spend in the kitchen because I'm able to do other things at the same time... like catch American Idol and stir during the commercials.

Master Cleanse 2007 Day 10: Skipping Over the Finish Line Like an Energetic Child

2007-01-17T14:49:00.001-05:00

This cleanse has been quite a ride. In spite of the deep craving I experienced when I served my sweetie a huge green salad, I didn't wanna stab anybody over a cheeseburger. In fact, I found myself enjoying the act of preparing and serving food. I often sat at the table while others ate, keeping the evening routine with our game of "Hi-Lo."

Once again, I only drank 3 glasses of lemonade and missed my P.M. senna tea. I won't get any awards this time for "Cleanse Perfection," but I feel GREAT and lost 11 pounds. That means in the first week of 20, I lost 11 pounds of my 40 pound goal.

After coming off the cleanse correctly (orange juice, veggie soup, etc), I fall into the church consecration (fruits, veggies, water, prayer) through January 28th. I feel a quiet confidence that I arrived at my season to change my health for the rest of my life. I'm not sickly by far, but I feel the extra pounds, and I know they hold a promise of challenges tomorrow.

From this point forward, I'll post once or twice a week regarding my progress on the Weight Loss Challenge - from what I'm eating to my body measurements.

Master Cleanse 2007 Days 8 - 9: Feeling Kinda Ooooh La La

2007-01-15T07:50:00.001-05:00

In spite of the fact that I still struggle to drink 6 glasses of lemonade per day, I'm feeling like a new woman. I only had 4 glasses on Day 8 and 3 glasses on Day 9. I am down exactly 10 pounds.

I continue to miss my night-time senna tea (I did again on Day 9).

Like usual in the home stretch, my mind wanders to the life (and food) that waits for me after the cleanse. For many, this is the most anxious time because the desire is to continue living a "cleansed" life and to hopefully continue to lose weight.

Typically, people slowly return to crappy eating and pack on the pounds. I am particularly annoyed when they come back with claims that, "The cleanse doesn't work because all the weight comes back when you start to eat again." And yes, if eating means Doritos at midnight, then I guess all of your weight does come back.

So I ask that you consider the success stories that involve proper eating after the cleanse. You will absolutely continue to lose weight and increase your health if you eat right after cleansing. And by golly, I expect to continue my blog posts and become an example of what can happen when you start with a cleanse, and end with proper nutrition and exercise.

More later.

Master Cleanse 2007 Days 6-7: Hunger on a Serious Strike

2007-01-12T10:36:00.001-05:00

Trying to drink the recommended minimum of 6 glass of lemonade per day remains a struggle. This is my 5th cleanse, and this is a first for me. By the end of the day, I'm chugging the last of 4 glasses. The lemonade is designed to provide nutrition and strength - and to also fight hunger. My hunger must be on a serious strike - or vacationing in the Bahamas. I have plenty of energy, I feel great, and there's not a hunger pang in sight. Yet I couldn't drink another glass at the end of the day if I wanted to.

Is the ease of this cleanse all about being a 5-time veteran? Is it all about having a new and supportive sweetheart? Did I mention he's the most supportive man on the planet? How about the universe... lest a distant alien try to top him? Or is the ease about a made-up mind to change my life, lose the extra baggage, and transform my health forever?

Whatever it's about, I'm feeling blessed beyond measure right now.

Master Cleanse 2007 Day 5: Conquering the Bowling Alley

2007-01-10T15:10:00.001-05:00

Day 5 was a particularly long day at work. Organizational issues and unrest left me a little weary as the day came to a close. I called Vic (missed the goal again), and we took the boys to the bowling alley. They bowled a truck load of games while Vic and I played pool.

If you remember from my old posts, the bowling alley is a huge hangout for my family... and our alley has one of the best kitchens in the area. That's were I find myself eating all the wrong stuff - especially pork roll and cheddar cheese.

Darius munched on a chicken cheesesteak. Robbie munched on pizza. And Vic came back with the mother of all umm-umm-good with a patty melt. But guess what? I wasn't moved. I really am conquering the comforts of food one day at a time. Having a love in my life helps, but I also have a more focused vision for a larger goal. I really want to lose these pounds, live a healthy life, and bless my family with many years of my love.

Cleanse points from today:

I drank 5 glasses of lemonade. I only had the 5th because I crashed sometime in the evening and needed the energy.

I didn't drink enough water, which is a no-no.

I skipped my senna tea before bed.

I continue to cut my maple syrup by almost half, because anything else is just too sweet. BUT, if I'm gonna keep with the low consumption, I may need the full syrup for the calories.

Weight loss has stalled at 4 pounds, which doesn't bother me one bit. I understand how fluctuations occur during the cleanse, and I'm more concerned about the diet and exercise that will come after the cleanse.

Cleanse Advice Point #238:
Never try to "fast" from a new love. It's like insanity on a stick, dipped in nuts and wrapped in crazy. Ugh.

Master Cleanse 2007 Day 4: For Once, Food Isn't the Problem

2007-01-09T10:18:00.002-05:00

Abstaining from food hasn't been a second thought this cleanse. Seriously. No food fantasies. No wishing I was sitting in front of a 3 course meal. Nothing.

My "wanna quit syndrome" is from a whole other source: Irritating Eliminations.

In spite of practically owning stock in Preparation H and Butt Paste, I'm irritated by whatever toxins are in my eliminations. It happened so early in the cleanse this time, I started wondering how I was gonna make 10 days. I seem to be on an okay schedule (except I keep forgetting to bring my "necessities" to work).

Early this morning (the morning of Day 4), the scale indicated that I'm down 6 pounds. If I keep this rate, and stick to my post-cleanse plans, this will be a wonderful head-start on my 20-week goal (40 pounds) for Weight Loss Challenge 2007.

I learned something else about the cramping associated with the Senna tea. I already knew that cramping could be reduced/eliminated by taking the tea bag from the water sooner. BUT, last night, I also learned not to gulp the tea. In a rush to go to bed, I finished the tea in a few sips. By 1:30am... I was sitting in the bathroom with terrible cramps and having visions of sipping the tea next time.

I may actually do a SWF (salt water flush) this Saturday and Sunday. 90% of the time, I accept Burroughs modification to skip the SWF and have Senna tea instead.

Things on my job are really in turmoil (regarding the government organization that I support). One of our top performers (in terms of security knowledge) announced her departure yesterday. She'll be moving to another organization outside of our building. This announcement was difficult for me in a couple of ways. (1) She's also a personal friend, and having her here has been such a pleasure. (2) Her departure creates a crack in the foundation, making future contract support a little sketchy for the rest of us.

I have needed to update my resume and explore a career change for a loooooooong time now. This upheaval is quite timely, but I'm feeling tentative nonetheless. I needed the kick in the pants, but I feel the low simmer of panic in my belly. I'm happy to be cleansing for spiritual and physical reasons as I face whatever is next.

More later.

Master Cleanse 2007 Days 2 - 3: Missed Goals and Lost Weight

2007-01-08T14:13:00.002-05:00

Well well well. I have never weighed myself during a cleanse. But now, with my handy dandy accurate digital scale that cost too much, I can report on how the cleanse affects weight.

I weighed myself somewhere near the end of Day 1. By the end of Day 3, I was down 5 pounds.

I am having a terribly difficult time drinking the recommended minimum of lemonade. So far, my consumption has been like this:

Day 1: 4 glasses
Day 2: 6 glasses
Day 3: 4 glasses
Day 4: (struggling to get thru the first one)

I am shockingly not hungry. Not even enough to keep up on the lemonade. But ladies and gentlemen, heed this: Your lemonade is for strength and nutrition. Do your best to at least drink 6 glasses per day. I have been supplementing with some water, but not as much as usual. Go figure. It's so true. Every cleanse is different.

To my shock, horror, and sweet surprise, Vic called by early evening on Day 1. He wasn't prepared for what it takes to break all communication for fasting. I'm typing this on Day 4 - and let me just admit - we've been in contact for the first 3 days. No, not just the phone... but also all of Sunday for the kids' bowling tournament, dinner, etc. The new daggone goal is to make it through the next 7 days, giving us a week of fasting from each other. Lord that man makes me sing.

My clothes are fitting great and I feel like 1 million bucks. The Preparation H is in full swing... as I am already completely irritated in the nether regions. My face developed a below-surface pimple that feels more like a bean caught under my skin. I love how facial eruptions during the cleanse are followed by the most wonderful skin you've probably ever seen on your own face.

I soaked in Epsom salts yesterday. The reason for doing this totally escapes me right now, but it felt good. Like butter. ummm

More later...

Master Cleanse 2007 Day 1: Grumpy For Totally Different Reasons

2007-01-05T10:40:00.002-05:00

If you've been to this blog lately, you know I start my Weight Loss Challenge 2007 today. My goal is to lose 40 pounds by May 25th, plus an additional 20 or so later in the year.

I'm kicking-off the weight loss challenge (sponsored by me and the other moderators at the Yahoo group "mastercleanse") with a 10-day master cleanse. You would think my 5th cleanse would be a breeze, but alas, I'm fasting also from something new in my life... my man. When fasting for spiritual reasons, the goal is to kill "fleshly" desires so focus can remain on prayer and hearing from God.

Grumpiness is a normal part of fasting. It is one of the most common symptoms reported by the members of our group. But today, on Day 1, I am experiencing a whole new "grump."

Why?? Because a romantic relationship interferes with fasting, so I had to put Vic in a box until the fast is over. Because he's the sweetheart he is, he agreed to keep from contact and spend his time giving up bad habits and praying for us. In spite of the sincerity of the gesture, I miss the one whose voice has become daily music in my ears.

Stay tuned for daily updates about the cleanse/fast and Weight Loss Challenge. True to my form, you'll get the candid truth about how my days are going, plus tips and tricks to help you cleanse with success.

It's On Like Redenbacher Popcorn

2007-01-04T14:05:00.000-05:00

Weight Loss Challenge 2007 Begins!

If you have a serious plan for weight loss in 2007 and you're not opposed to fasting/cleansing as a kick start, then you should really make a run over to the Yahoo group: mastercleanse.

Challenge participants are signing-up and their entry forms are available here in PDF form. Each file name shows the Age/Sex/Location of the participants so you can buddy-up with people of similar age or circumstance.

My weight loss goal for the 20-week challenge is 40 pounds. My actual goal is for a total of 60 to 80, and I'll address the balance after the 20-weeks are over on May 25th.

My weight loss challenge is structured as follows (with some overlap):

Fri Jan 5 thru Sun Jan 14: I will begin with a 10 day Master Cleanse, according to Stanley Burroughs' book, "The Master Cleanser."
Goals: Reset bad habits, rejuvenate relationship with God thru daily prayer and reading, abstain from contact with new beau to seek clarity regarding the relationship, prayerfully decide which ministries to give my time in church.
Secondary Goal: To not murder the first person who offers me a bagel (hehe)

Mon Jan 8 thru Sun Jan 28: I will continue with the 21-day consecration with Grace Family Church (consisting of daily prayer along with a diet of fruits, veggies, and water). Daily prayer will focus on specific topics, which I am happy to post here by Monday.
Goals: Complete 21 days of focused prayer, draft my complete personal plan for 2007, refresh power, confidence, peace & joy, achieve daily success with Weight Loss Challenge.

Fri Jan 5 thru Fri May 25: Weight Loss Challenge 2007
Goals: Increase strength & endurance and lose 40 pounds.

My reward for success at the end of the Challenge is a new hairstyle, an expensive outfit, and an out-of-town date with my ultra-supportive beau.

It's on like popcorn - so let's get it poppin!

Weight Loss Challenge 2007

2006-12-29T08:52:00.001-05:00

Right now, the moderators (including me) at the mastercleanse Yahoo group are working on plans for a 2007 weight loss challenge. The challenge will begin with a January cleanse (minimum 10 days), and continue with healthy eating and exercise (methods of your choice).

Here is an excerpt from the early plans (nothing decided for sure):

========

Our first annual weight loss challenge (20 weeks) will begin on Friday January 5^th and continue through Friday May 25^th.

The challenge will feature:

Published entry forms for those who want to “compete” for prizes.
Weekly journals for all Challenge participants.
Published 20-week journals of the top 3 participants plus participating group moderators.
A top prize and runner-up prize, judged by List Owner Mary, and Moderators Anna, Hawa, and Thia.
The most awesome weight loss and cleansing peer support available on the internet!

Background

In spite of several concerns that a few of our members are using Stanley Burroughs Master Cleanse as a quick way to lose weight, we are hosting our first annual Weight Loss Challenge. This year’s challenge is named: Lemonhead Losers.

In his book, Stanley Burroughs declared his own cleanse as an optimal way to lose weight (fat, toxins, and water). If that isn’t convincing enough, also consider the following:

Overweight/obesity is a known contributor to life threatening illness.
The American Heart Association maintains a list of known cardiovascular problems that are specifically caused or greatly magnified by carrying extra weight.
The quick weight loss associated with the cleanse is no different than fast weight loss on shows like The Biggest Loser and no different than the quick weight lost after bariatric surgery.

No matter how you slice it, losing the extra weight is a necessary part of any plan for overall health and fitness.

If you fall into the category of folks with a weight loss goal, we invite you to join our Challenge!

Why Now?

We have an unbelievably supportive group of members. Time and time again, our members help each other through difficult cleanse times. Why not offer such quality support for weight loss? Sometimes friendship, support, understanding, and even a little competitiveness can make the difference between reaching the goal and quitting too soon.
===========

Whether or not the Weight Loss Challenge happens, I have a plan to lose 40 pounds in the new year. I'll share that journey at this blog - duplicating my journal entries from the Yahoo group if necessary.

Leave a comment if your New Year involves losing weight. Make your way over the the Yahoo group and get some of the best support available on the internet!

An Approving Nod to Another Cleanse Blog

2006-12-13T09:01:00.001-05:00

Good or bad, nothing compares to the first time. All firsts are memorable, from first loves, to first lovers, to a child's first steps.

Cleansing is quite the same experience, and there's nothing like reading the raw and exploratory expressions of a new cleanse journey.

The woman I know as Straight Dyva posted her first cleanse experience as 1Determination. She aptly named her blog

"Be the Change You Wish to See in the World."

The title comes from a Ghandi quote - encouraging us to make a better world by controlling the only thing we can... Ourselves. I appreciate Dyva's push to live a life of faith and her willingness to share the "heart" of cleansing - beyond the lemons and maple syrup.

Visit 1Determination's blog at:
http://1Determination.blogspot.com

You can also view and download the PDF of my first cleanse journey at:
http://www.fruitoffaith.com/cleanse/FirstCleanse.pdf

A Warm Hello to My International Visitors!

2006-11-27T18:30:00.002-05:00

While 75% of my recent visitors (approximately the past 3 weeks) live in the United States (including Alaska and Hawaii), the remaining 25% live outside the states.

Please accept this warm welcome to my visitors from:

Canada
Italy
United Kingdom
Australia
Brazil

I have traveled to Canada, the United Kingdom, and Italy. I have also traveled to France, Germany, Amsterdam, Spain, and Switzerland. My most fond food memories come from Italy and Spain.

Both years that I traveled Europe, I came home thinner. I find that the availability of healthier food choices in other countries (from ingredients to prevailing attitudes about food) is often the subject of books I read about health. In fact, the growing weight and general health problem in the United States is highly attributed to SAD, or the Standard American Diet.

I most enjoyed the book, "French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure" by Mireille Guiliano. I recommend this book to anybody as a wonderful commentary on weight issues that reach far beyond superficial motives and quick fixes.

I hope to see all of you again soon!
Hawa

PS: Thanks to Google Analytics for the cool maps and site visitor statistics that allow me to "see" my International friends. If you have a blog, you need to sign up for this free service.

Common Question: How Do I Keep the Weight Off After a Cleanse?

2006-11-20T14:12:00.003-05:00

I am surprised at how many times we get this question at the Yahoo group. Many members are frightened by internet urban legend that laments, "once you come off the cleanse, you pack on huge amounts of weight the moment you eat a morsel of food." These claims are often made by people who either didn't actually do the cleanse, or did the cleanse and went back to crappy eating afterwards.

In spite of the consistent evidence that weight is lost when you burn more calories than you consume - people still ask about what it takes to keep weight off. By confusing the basic answer, companies pocket kajillions of dollars while consumers bounce from solution-to-solution - believing that the answer lies in a remedy that can be purchased off the shelf.

So here's my official answer to the common question about managing weight after a cleanse:

1. Break the cleanse properly. Don't miss a single step in the process as described in the book.

2. Make a slow return to eating. Don't have a bacon cheeseburger right after you complete the "breaking" process. Remember, your metabolism slowed during the cleanse and requires some time to increase to normal levels. Naturally, if you pack in the calories now, you can't metabolize it all.

3. Reduce portions. Today's inhuman portion sizes produced lots of spare tires. Don't judge the proper portion by the tub of pasta served by your favorite Italian food restaurant. I had a small-dang-boat of pasta (Rigatoni Martino) at Carrabba's yesterday. I jumped in head-first and almost got lost in the bowl. It may have been delicious, but normal serving sizes say that my tub held enough food for probably 3 servings.

4. Exercise. Physical exercise helps the body burn calories. If you're gonna burn more than you eat, you must be physically active. Don't buy into the notion that you must have the latest exercise video to do this. Do what you enjoy. Garden. Walk. Ride your bike. There's no magic. Just get moving. If you choose to just control food without exercise, prepare yourself for tiny tiny portions. In my opinion, such a lack of balance isn't healthy.

5. When health is just as important as weight loss, improve the quality of your food. Some people just care about weight. While that may work for them, I'm also interested in long-term health results. In that case, choose whole complex carbs over simple and processed carbs (e.g. white bread, white pasta, etc.) Include lots of "living" foods. It's the living enzymes in food (such as uncooked vegetables) that aid our digestion. Don't fill your days with dead, overcooked, over processed food with no nutritional value.

6. Keep life interesting. Many "diets" require you to omit certain foods for life. That's a great way to lose interest in food and go back to gorging on your favorites. Make sure your eating includes small portions of things you love and some exploratory foods, like the purple whattsit-veggie that you've never seen before.

7. TRUST YOUR BODY'S CUES. You are your own best advocate. You know how certains foods and habits make you feel. Instead of hoping that somebody else's prescription will work for you, learn to manage your own health. You know when you're getting full. Push away from the table. You know which foods make you tired. Don't eat them and cause yourself to skip exercise. See my post on "Doctor Yourself" about your responsibility to learn about your personal health and stop letting propaganda rule your decisions.

Rock on.

Doctor Yourself

2006-10-31T15:00:00.001-05:00

Quotes like this can really captivate:

"One-third of what you eat keeps you alive.
The other two-thirds keep your doctor alive."

How about this one...

"Natural healing is not about avoiding doctors. It's about not needing to go to doctors. A dentist is not upset if you're cavity free. A doctor should not be upset if you're healthy."

Both quotes are attributed to Dr. Andrew Saul, who has taken on the war for good health. I came across Dr. Saul in my decision process to fire my doctor and hire a naturopath for my health needs. I know a woman who essentially nursed herself back from health (hadn't walked for almost 2 years) by cleansing and seeing a naturopath. The typical doctor goes blue in the face when you introduce the idea of going without food for 10 days. The same doctors respond with wide-eyed amazement after the cleanse produces outstanding health benefits.

This week, I will order Dr. Saul's book, Doctor Yourself, which focuses on our responsibility to care for our health. The author of one book review offers the following compelling comment:

Doctor Yourself is titled and based on a simple premise: every person is responsible for their own health care. When a person abdicates that responsibility, they often place themselves in the hands of the "disease care" industry, a monolithic and profit-driven enterprise where getting well isn't the bottom line.

After reading the book, I'll provide commentary here at the blog.

Rock on.

Day 6: Prayer and Fasting - The Dynamic Duo

2006-10-06T09:00:00.002-04:00

Sunday, August 6th

Prayer and fasting are the dynamic duo. Many who cleanse for spiritual reasons share a common experience when it comes to cleansing and spending some prayerful alone time.

Well I discovered something this morning: We can be led to fast even when it comes to the prayers that we pray for others.

After arriving at church this A.M., and sometime before service started, the Pastor and his wife shared wonderful news with me. Their lives were touched in an area that I have been praying for. I realized that this cleanse/fast wasn't for me at all... but an opportunity to get the Dynamic Duo working on an old prayer.

It's human nature to pray for ourselves, cleanse for ourselves, and hope for personal blessings. Yet praying for the lives of others is a much higher calling. The last time your grocery cashier looked blue, did you speak a kind word and say a small prayer for her as you left the store? That tiny gesture could change the course of her day and therefore every day after.

I know I'm off on a tangent, and somebody should really hook me with a large cane.

I said all that to say: My work is done here. I'm very satisfied with my cleanse results, almost more so to see that the result was for somebody else. Tomorrow is Attack of the Oranges.

Cleansing Rocks. hehe

A note to my readers: In weeks to come, I will be expanding the scope of this blog to include more posts about my life after cleansing and general health information, and other specific research about the Master Cleanse. In spite of successes with the Master Cleanse, my goal is to live a "cleansed life," which to me is defined by healthier living on a daily basis.

Rock on.

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Days 4 and 5: Bathroom Antics

2006-08-09T08:36:00.001-04:00

Friday, August 4th - Saturday, August 5th

Cleansers never know when their body will drag itself to the bathroom for a Porcelain Throne episode of energetic elimination. If you're thinking about the master cleanse, you have to accept the major unknown of bathroom frequency and urgency. I have a job that can accomodate this unknown. Some of you don't, like toll booth workers and traffic cops. While you're on another unexpected trip to the bathroom, cars are speeding through tolls and cars are piling on top of each other. You may want to consider a veggie cleanse...

On Saturday, I had an unwanted meeting with a public restroom. Just when I thought it was safe to make a grocery run with the boys, the Senna tea flipped the script. I flew from the front door to the back aisle in record time. Thank God the bathroom was clean, because the don't-touch-the-seat-squat doesn't work while cleansing. As I sat there, surveying the bathroom, wondering if there was enough toilet paper to get me through, I could hear the boys standing outside the door. By now, they probably appeared to be abandoned by some lunatic mom who lost it in the produce aisle and fled to Mexico. By the time my visit was over, I was glad nobody was waiting to use the bathroom. I fled the scene by scampering to the deli.

In spite of my toxic entry into the cleanse (i.e. drinking coffee almost everyday), I am not experiencing the terrible headaches that can bring down even the strongest cleanser. Eliminations are going well and I'm enjoying a good night's sleep.

I did get a little snarky with the boys - which is another common cleanse symptom that can't be escaped. I am still having a surprisingly difficult time around solid food. It's difficult to imagine I can still be thinking of food while feeling this great without it.

In spite of Stanley Burrough's recommendation to drink at least 6 glasses of lemonade per day, I'm drinking approximately 4. I'm simply not hungry after 4, and I'd have to force the last 2.

Stanley Burroughs lived decades ago, and he's no longer with us. But if you want to learn more about the cleanse, Peter Glickman runs a site with excellent information. Peter is a long-time cleanser and shares information about cleanse symptoms, common mistakes, and other useful tips.

Rock on.

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Cleansing Butts Prefer Butt Paste

2006-08-08T15:45:00.001-04:00

So I realize that I'm behind on my blog posts, but I just HAD to cover this butt material first.

Many of you know about the potential for hemmorhoids, and my personal battle with them while cleansing. I went the Preparation H route, but members of the Yahoo group came with some knockout information...

The irritations of cleansing are better served by Bourdreaux's Butt Paste - basically a diaper rash treatment also used by "irritated" adults. Go figure. One member of the board has used both treatments (Prep H and Butt Paste), and couldn't believe the superior performance of Butt Paste.

Now with a name like Butt Paste, you have to be good. No need having such a stand-out name and delivering booty results. (Yes. The pun was intended. My humor writer is on vacation, so just move on).

Brought to you by the committee to assist cleansers everywhere, no matter how sensitive the subject matter.

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Day 3: Premature Food Dreams

2006-08-03T21:01:00.001-04:00

Thursday, August 3, 2006

I had the rare pleasure of reading a cleanse blog that was maintained by a man. The blog was well written, and judging from the comments, he had a group of friends watching him closely and waiting for him to quit.

According to the male author of the blog, while researching the cleanse, he came across the "interesting and corny" idea of food dreams. On day 6 of his cleanse, he finally had a food dream and discovered the truth behind how real - and stressful - they can be.

Well here I am on Day 3 of the cleanse, and I started the day with a food dream. It was amazing. The colors were vivid, the situation was realistic (a cookout/picnic), and I could also taste and feel the food. This particular food dream was quite advanced, because I actually became upset about breaking the cleanse in the dream. Usually, a food dream results in fear after waking that the cleanse was broken. I didn't even wake before that fear hit.

I actually prepared a salt water flush (SWF) this morning - making 16 ounces instead of 32 ounces. I have never gotten down and entire SWF, so I decided not to waste good Celtic salt. I almost finished the entire 16 ounces, and that darned flush worked for at least 2 hours. Needless to say, I had the day off from work.

The day was quite enjoyable, and cleanse symptoms were almost none. I had a slight hint of a headache, and the twitching under the right eye continued. Other than that, I'm having an eerily smooth time on this cleanse.

I only had 5 glasses of lemonade today and lots of water. I forced the last glass down, because I don't want to miss the suggested 6-glass minimum by much.

My sleep has been fabulous, and I'll write more about that tomorrow.

Rock on.

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Day 2: I Wonder What Would Happen If I Quit Now?

2006-08-02T14:27:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

I can't believe I already asked myself that question. Along with one of my fellow moderators at the Yahoo group, my heart is barely in this cleanse. My mind is squarely there, because I know how much I need to cleanse right now. But my heart keeps betraying what I know.

I actually had blood in my elimination earlier this morning, but it hasn't appeared again since that time. And now, I'm feeling general "ick" and I want to go to bed. I feel like I just ate a plate of raw pizza dough - and it's just sitting in the bottom of my stomach. (Did somebody say Pizza??)

But in some strange dusty back corner of my mind, I'm pleased that I'm having a hard time. That means I'm right where I need to be - cleansing myself. Think about it... cleansing brings things from the inside-out. So if I'm already feeling ick on Day 2, then I had some ick that needed to go.

Attitude Adjustment.

Those are my words for the day. As I read back over this post, it's like reading some dark tragedy. You would think a black cloud was floating over my head, and the cloud suddenly burst into rain. Hmmm. Dark. Snarky. Aaaaaaaaand melodramatic. I'll have to add these things to the list of cleanse symptoms. Here's hoping I have a sunny, witty post for you tomorrow.

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Day 1: All's Well that Ends Well

2006-08-02T10:30:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Yesterday was Day 1, and all ended well. I was slightly amused about the twitch that developed under my right eye - especially since I didn't feel an ounce of stress.

Until now, I actually enjoyed cooking for the family and watching cooking shows while cleansing. In a surprise turn of events, yesterday I disliked the act of preparing the boys' dinner and was annoyed by TV commercials featuring food. I don't now what gives, but I hope the condition is temporary.

Cleanse Stats for Day 1:

Lemonade: ~64 ounces
Pure Water: ~34 ounces
AM: No Senna or SWF, PM: Senna Tea
Trips to the Bathroom: Lost count hehe
Number of Food Thoughts: What food thoughts? Are you talking about that bacon cheeseburger that was dancing in my head?
Number of Days Left: 9

Free Advice for Newbies:

When you're cleansing, there is no such thing as gas. Flatulence isn't your friend. If you feel the need to toot, realize that it's a conspiracy. Don't find a quiet corner and give in to the feeling. Go to the bathroom. You'll be surprised that the feeling wasn't air at all.

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Day 1: A Test of My Will

2006-08-01T08:53:00.001-04:00

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Last night was the most interesting cleanse prep I've ever experienced. It was like a conspiracy to derail my decision to start today.

I had a refrigerated item in my car that needed to get home fairly quickly. I decided to purchase my lemons from a convenience store to save time.

Not a SINGLE location had lemons. My son went in and out of each place, and not a lemon in sight. Yes, we found other produce. But who bought all the dang lemons?

Already sensitive about starting the cleanse, I got angry and frustrated - which is unusual for me. My son saw my reaction and suggested that I postpone the cleanse. I explained that it wasn't an option, and he wanted to know why.

"Because I promised several members of the group that I would start tomorrow, and I don't intend to let them down. [Pause] Even more importantly, I promised myself and I really need to do this."

I was forced to make a huge gas-guzzling loop back to the supermarket.

Once this loop was over, the time was approaching 7pm. I hadn't seen home for almost 12 hours. I grabbed fast food for dinner near my home. With relief, I hit the gas and imagined how it would feel to walk through the door and kick off my shoes. Home was only down the street. Then I realized that I left my pocketbook IN THE SELF-SERVE CHECKOUT LINE IN THE SUPERMARKET.

Half of my life was in that pocketbook. Numbers. Bank account information. Computer files on a USB key. I had a flash of what a criminal mind might be able to achieve with the contents of my bag.

I grabbed my cell phone and called the store. Miracle #1: My cell phone wasn't in the pocketbook. Miracle #2: The pocketbook was exactly where I left it. The woman on the other end of the line was astonished - and I was relieved.

As I made the turn away from home for gas-guzzling loop #2, I was more than angry. I could spit fire. My jaw was clenched shut. If hell's fire went out at that moment, I'm pretty sure Satan would have called for a quick light. What else could go wrong?

By the time I neared the supermarket, my simmer was down. I had a conversation with myself all the way there, reminding myself of the hidden blessings - which can be found in ANY situation.

"Thank God I learned about the cleanse, and have enough money to buy the ingredients. Thank God for tests that try our patience and build character. And thank God my pocketbook is exactly where I left it."

The moment I stepped from the car to retrieve my bag, the entire day changed. As I entered the door, and older woman gasped and exclaimed, "You look beautiful!" I was floored. It was unexpected, and my attention was in a totally different place. I thanked her with a huge smile that literally melted onto my face. She broke the ice. My ice.

As I walked by her, a neighbor was standing there asking about my son and thanking me for inviting her children to his party. As I approached the desk, the woman complimented my bag and wanted to know where I got it. And on the way out of the store, another woman complimented, "Your dress is very pretty."

A string of negative events ran right into a string of unexpected kind words from strangers.

I didn't bother preparing the lemonade mix last night. The night ended late for me. I couldn't help but wonder what the next day would hold.

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Day 0: Starting a Cleanse on the Wrong Side of the Bed

2006-07-31T11:27:00.001-04:00

Monday, July 31, 2006

I suspect that by tomorrow afternoon, I will wish I'd stayed in bed. In my zeal to be a good example, today I became the example of what-not-to-do when preparing for a cleanse.

I put in 0% preparation for my cleanse that starts tomorrow. I'm trying to put on my pleated skirt, grab my pom-poms, and get the cheering going... but I'm on empty. Let's look at my checklist of preparations:

Son's birthday resulted in 3 days of cake, ice cream, and leftover junk food.

Red wine with dinner last night - usually a good healthy choice but not a great way to start a cleanse.

Coffee for breakfast this AM - which is known to cause killer cleanse headaches if not stopped long before a cleanse begins.

Pasta with chicken and sausage in the fridge for lunch today - knowing carbs are another factor when cleansing.

With a checklist like this, I need to run away to a cleanse farm somewhere on a secluded island. And by virtue of a massive brain-fart, I'm starting this one in the middle of a work week. Ouch.

Flipping the coin - I LOVE A CHALLENGE. I thrive when things are working against me. I shine when little is expected of me. And I throw a mean punch when threatened by an unusual foe.

My unusual start will probably result in some colorful blog entries over the next few days. That is, if I'll still coherent.

Rock on.
See ya tomorrow for Day 1.

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Battleground

2006-07-25T13:35:00.001-04:00

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Some of you know that my current battle with a healthy lifestyle comes after the destructive work of eating my way through a divorce. Even as I head for a major comeback after peeling the emotional layers, I have an eye turned to the physical layers. Like a metaphor for the necessary "hibernation" time for recovery, I'm ready to come out of the cave AND the extra layer on my body. This fight is harder than any other, because my rewards for "bad behavior" are so immediate. Here's what I mean:

Yes, chocolate can cure a long night.

Yes, the cheesy goodness of a pizza can be a great companion for a long night of bad memories.

And yes, crunchy snacks are a fun friend for dateless movie rental weekends.

After the emotional recovery, I immediately wanted to kill those habits. Instead of bringing perceived relief, comfort foods feel like the artifact of an old reflex instead of something I really need. And thankfully, habits can be broken. Now that I'm sweeping out the cobwebs and feeling like a new woman on the inside, I'm ready for that "new" feeling to show. It's amazing what junk food does to the skin, the hair - and not so surprising what it does to general health and vibrancy. The cleanse on August 1st feels like the final battleground in this war.

Although I keep taking stabs at the Beast of Bad Habits, August 1st is my declared time for "it slays me or I slay it." I don't expect an all-at-once victory. We're talking about a big beast. But I do expect to leave that beast dying on the ground - unable to deal anymore devastating blows. I'll hang it's head as a trophy once the work is done.

No weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17a)

Disappearing Acts

2006-07-11T12:45:00.001-04:00

I certainly know how to pull a disappearing act. I haven't been to this blog in so long, that I had to climb through an unopened window in the back just to get in. The place is dusty, but it's still home.

My next cleanse is scheduled for August 1st. It looks like moderators and members alike have a similar goal at the Yahoo mastercleanse group. I don't think I ever needed a cleanse more than I need one now. When I'm on target with good health, my focus is like a laser beam - burning holes in junk food and destroying midnight snacks. But right now, when somebody says "hole," I only think of donuts. My laser beam is more like a garden hose set on sprinkle. I'm spraying everywhere between snack food and pizza.

The pop-culture induced reliance on food for everything from celebration to self-medication is a scary thing. I'll return to the blog periodically between now and August 1st to whine about preparing for the cleanse. I feel like a baby who just dropped her bottle outside of the stroller and nobody's picking it up. I'm having a tantrum over the fact that magic bullets don't exist to resolve a crappy relationship with food or the weight that follows. The tantrum will be short, but I'd still cover the furniture and clear the room. hehe

Rocking on, (but right now with a slice of pizza in my hand)...

(P.S. Are any other Blogger users slightly annoyed that the Blogger spell checker rejects the word "blog?")

When a Good Scare Gets the Juices Flowing

2006-05-25T10:55:00.001-04:00

Ugh. If I could roll my eyes any harder, I'd get a nice look at my brain. I promised myself not to be "the woman who started eating right because a medical scare rocked her world." I hear those stories all the time. Well yesterday was a reminder to go ahead and implement the plan, or I'm gonna miss the mark.

I was sitting at my desk, having a conversation about American Idol with a co-worker. During the conversation, my left arm went numb. I had to be subtle, because I didn't want to alarm my visitor. I wiggled my fingers and made a few loose fists. As my mind turned down the volume on our conversation, my loudest thoughts asked the question, "What the heck is going on?"

I was thankful for the company and the conversation, because it kept me from panic. After a short walk and a trip to the bathroom, I felt almost normal again.

Now there are a few potential reasons I had that scare.

1. I often have strange occurrences on the left side of my body when my digestive system goes on strike. Years ago, I had to see a specialist about it, who told me chest pain and referred pain is not uncommon. Another friend with digestive problems said her pain would settle in her left shoulder. Too bad that's the same marker as a heart attack!

2. Later last night, I had problems with my left collar bone. When I type a lot, a nerve on the left side of neck starts to protest. The numbness was probably my warning for a long night of that weird nerve thingy.

3. My bra is really wearing on my shoulders under the responsibility of carrying around... well... Double D's. You might go numb too.

In spite of the non-emergency nature of the problem, I experienced a moment in time where the status of my health came into serious question. Long periods of eating like a teenager can't possibly be good for a 35 year old body.

Convenience. Habit. Comfort. Habit. Celebration. Habit. Boredom.
Did I mention HABIT?

A cleanse is coming some time after Memorial Day. I'm ready to reset. I really don't care how many times I have to try. The only opportunity to win lies in not quitting.

Rock on.

Back from the Black Hole

2006-05-01T13:50:00.001-04:00

Monday, May 1, 2006

Well dang. I disappeared for too long. Do you ever have those times in life when you fall into a black hole, and some unseen force is munching away your days like M&M candies?

I apologize for being away so long.

I finished my last cleanse on Day 5. My tongue was turning pink, and that sealed my thought that I need to leave a little more time between each cleanse.

I'll go dig up the message I left at the Yahoo board and share it here...

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Day 6: Pink Tongue and Orange Juice

This last cleanse was a breeze, and I felt great the whole time. I was surprised that I could only get down 3 to 5 glasses of the lemonade per day, and sometimes I was trying to chug that before bedtime! In spite of getting much less lemonade, my energy was great, my eliminations were great, and I'm pleased with the results.

On the evening of Day 3, I checked my tongue and noticed pink. I ignored that as a hallucination, because that seems waaaaaaay too early for a pink tongue. Lo and behold, I am on pink alert again today, so goes the cleanse.

Having left about 2.5 months between cleanses, I guess it's possible I'd be pink on Day 6 the third time around. Besides the short time off the cleanse, I considered some other possibilities:

On the last cleanse, I eased myself back to eating MUCH slower. I continued to "cleanse" and lose weight afterward with the orange juice and lots of produce.

I gave myself a hard time about returning to some foods. Now, I realize that I developed some good habits that I didn't give myself credit for. I became a nut about drinking lots of water each day, I replaced MANY of my snacks with organic pistachios, I increased my intake of fruits and vegetables, and I incorporated more whole and organic choices.

My wardrobe is slowly getting too big for me. I hadn't really noticed, but people had been commenting about the way my clothes fit since before I started this third cleanse. Just more evidence that I'm doing something right between each cleanse.

I want to do a cleanse at the end of June, as a summer seasonal thing. The timing is perfect, because I'm able to leave a full 3 months between cleanses.

Rock on, y'all!
Hawa (Moderator)
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

In Memoriam on Day 3

2006-03-28T10:10:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
People describe the life of drinking lemonade as "boring," and sometimes fall off the cleanse out of sheer need to break the monotony. Yet I find so many fun things to do while cleansing, like observing the oddities of life on the Porcelain Throne. So before I continue:

I want to call a moment of silence for the toilet paper rolls that are murdered in large numbers while cleansing. [ ]

It's amazing how little time passes before the lifeless little brown tub is hanging helplessly from the roll. One day, the roll is loaded with soft quilted goodness, and the next day it's just a shell of its former self. I wonder if the septic system would need an upgrade if everybody in my townhouse community cleansed at the same time.

I imagine how teams of preschoolers could have endless fun hours of toilet-roll-cardboard-thingy craft projects. Parents would squeal with glee as the next "I love you mommy" project was sent home.

Here's how Day 2 went yesterday:

I drank 53.8 ounces of lemonade (5 glasses) plus 20 ounces of fresh spring water
It took my P.M. Senna tea exactly 7 hours to work, but this time, it "worked" for about an hour. I was up from 3am to 4am killing more toilet paper.
The strange dull aches in both ears lasted all day long.
I continued to have nagging pains in certain joints, but it subsided by evening
I found myself watching cooking shows, excited about eating healthy foods after the cleanse. I didn't want food though, even when they pulled the fresh Italian pizza from the oven.
Cooking dinner for my son was easy. He had an organic pizza with basil pesto and a whole wheat crust. I wasn't the least bit interested.
I do still fantasize about my next opportunity to have chitlins, but the good thing is, I don't want them right now.

Day 2 of My Third Cleanse

2006-03-27T10:53:00.001-05:00

Monday March 27, 2006

Today is Day 2 of my third cleanse. This cleanse rolled-in with no red carpet and no parade. I managed to start without a huge blog introduction or ticker-tape confetti. I even skipped the "I'm getting ready" speech from a hilltop, complete with local news cameras.

This cleanse tiptoed in more like a lamb than a lion because I'm feeling like an old pro. Honestly, the nutty anxiety and the frantic shopping weren't present. In fact, last night, mom said, "Wow, I didn't even know you were on another fast."

This is starting to feel like a familiar road. It's kinda like driving home from work. You've done it so much, that you give little attention to the whole affair. That's in stark contrast to driving to an unfamiliar place, when you might turn off the radio, glare out of the window, and tell passengers to "hush" as you try to read the road signs.

For me, there's no staring out of the window with a white-knuckled grip on the wheel. The cleanse feels natural and right.

A member of the Yahoo group (guruin2) recently dubbed cleansing "an expression of pure love for myself." The rest of us have embraced that statement as the most accurate mission, purpose, and victorious result of cleansing. If you've ever seen a person drive miles to find the right gas for their car, but fuel their own bodies with deadly garbage, then you truly understand the need for "self love" above "car love," especially if you want to ride in a real car instead of the funny looking car riding at the front of a funeral.

It's still early on Day 2, but I can share a few blurbs:

I started the day at 6:15am with Senna tea. By 11:05am, I was making Toilet Soup.
Mild headaches, runny nose, body aches, and mild earaches reveal some quick cleansing work going on.
If you have the habit of waiting until the last minute to go to the bathroom, stop it. Stop it now. I just received a close-call reminder that the first "gurgle" means RUN.

If My Life Was a Car...

2006-03-21T12:05:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

...I would be sitting firmly in the driver's seat. But a pesky front-seat passenger would have a hand on the steering wheel, fumbling a foot on the pedals, and causing me to swerve off the path. At least backseat drivers have no real influence. They don't have access to the driver's tools. In fact, backseat drivers only have useless guidance and annoying voices.

But my passenger is sitting in the front of my car. I'm able to keep a general direction, but I find myself drifting, and stopping to repair damage after swerving into obstacles. My pesky passenger is an unreasonable relationship with food. Notice I didn't say FOOD itself?

When was the last time a pie jumped off a plate and down down someone's throat? Food itself has zero influence. It's the crappy choice to invite food into every crevice of life. Joy calls for food. Celebration calls for food. Boredom calls for food. Happiness comes over for a party, and food gets an invitation. In fact, even mourning calls for... you guessed it... food. A drug addict has nothing on a PMSing woman who wants chocolate. NOW.

I decided to consider a time or circumstance where food isn't on the list of invitees, since the food list is so long.

[cue the chirping crickets and hollow echo]

So here I am. Driving my car. I can almost see the destination, or at least a few places I'd love to stop and visit. Mr. Poor Eating Habits causes the trip to stall in all kinds of ways.

I'm introduced to migraines at the age of 16
I pop up with high cholesterol at the ripe old age of 23
I develop digestive problems that require medication in my mid to late 20's
Around the same time, I'm on a beta blocker for heart palpitations
In my late 20's, I develop menstrual problems
And for most of this time, I'm fighting to get to a healthy (and sexy *wink) weight

The list seems to go on forever because I haven't kicked the annoying passenger out of my car... So I stop and pick up another passenger. Good Health Habits climbs into the back of the car. Poor Eating Habits turns around with a scowl. Now they're fighting, and I'm happy to have an extra passenger who's on my side.

My new passenger has a huge bag loaded with weapons. Cleansing/Fasting/Detoxing. Whole and organic food. Lots of water. An attitude that I deserve to win every good blessing.

I'm turning a sharp corner, and the door flies open on Poor Eating Habits' side of the car. He holds on to keep from getting ejected onto the highway. Now if I can only get the seatbelt loose, and add one final swift kick in the...

Rock on,
Hawa

Watch Where You Swing that Daggone Bat!

2006-03-07T12:45:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, March 7, 2006
A young man is given at baseball bat as a birthday gift. On one path, he uses that bat to learn the game and become a wealthy sports figure. On another path, he uses that bat to commit a horrible crime.

Was the bat good or bad?

Just like any other tool, like hammers, love, or even sex, the bat didn't have an absolue "good" or "bad" value. The intent and motivation of the user sealed the determination.

If you know me at all, I have a sly way to connect this post to cleansing. Here goes:

As a moderator at the Yahoo group for cleansers, I am alarmed by the number of people who are bordering on abusing the cleansing tool.

In one corner, you have the folks who are prepared for the long term committment to health and recognize the cleanse as a great starter. These Gold Star Cleansers have a mature plan, read the book carefully, stick to the rules, and don't attempt strange home-remedies.

In the other corner, you have the folks who just want to lose weight. Fast. Too fast. These Red Flag Cleansers usually have lofty weight loss goals, don't want to read the book, couldn't care less about toxins, and put themselves at risk with miscellaneous cleanse antics. And most of all, they really scare me.

The language of a Red Flag Cleanser usually screams,

"I'm ready to replace my eating dysfunction with dangerous cleansing dysfunction. I don't want to read a book. I want somebody to give me the lemonade recipe and leave me alone. I'll do this fast until I can't take it anymore, and I'll come off by eating a double cheesburger, risking my health in the process. I'll weigh myself everyday and I demand to see the pounds drop to the floor. If I can't achieve that by Day 3, I'll declare that this cleanse doesn't work, and ignore the other improvements in my health."

I have a serious, personal desire to see people's health turn 180 degrees. I fight the battle everyday. As I win, which I will, I want to take a crap-load of people with me. Until then, I ask you to examine which team you're on (Gold Star or Red Flag). If you're on the Red Flag team (and I've been there before), admit it first and jump to the Gold Star side.

I've been on both sides of the health war, and the grass really is greener... okay.... more golden... over here.

Love ya all. Let's win together.
With a heart of love,
Hawa

Fascination

2006-03-02T13:30:00.001-05:00

Thursday, March 2, 2006
As my thighs become reacquainted with each other and make that reunion swishing sound, I have a renewed fascination with our relationship to food. Over at the Yahoo group, we have a lively conversation going about using food to escape - and other links between food and emotions. Once you go on a cleanse with no food for 10 or more days, you learn just how often you think about food. A thin and healthy coworker even found himself surprised over impulse food habits that he'd developed over the years. One member of the board posted a most interesting theory:

Its funny how weight gain actually manifests itself into an emotional disorder. A period of short term stress with long hours and little sleep can cause a person to adopt unhealthy eating habits in order to cope with the stress. As the unhealthy eating causes a person to gain weight, they begin to feel sluggish and lazy and begin to reduce any physical activities previously enjoyed.

This in turn leads to more weight gain. When the gain has reached a point where it is readibly noticeable by the person and their peers, then self esteem issues begin to surface generating stress leading to more unhealthy eating habits. Also, most unhealthy eating habits involve large amounts of bad carbs which I personally know to be addictive.

Looking back over the past several years, I can't remember a lonely, stressful, angry, or sad moment that I didn't stuff with a comfort food. Sadly enough, commercials are openly promoting the strategy of stuffing an emotional issue with crappy food.

So I'm actively searching for a replacement. I'm firing comfort food on the spot, and hanging the "help wanted" sign. Who or what should apply for the job? Use the comments feature to share your answers, and I'll post my responses to your suggestions.

I have a few ideas of my own, and I am on a serious personal mission to win a battle that many people lose. Besides missing the mark God established for the body-as-temple, I realize that I don't look or feel like the "me" I know and love. I have plans for a long and prosperous life. Now only if I could get my thighs to cooperate...

Motivation from a Tiny Voice in the Dark

2006-02-10T17:30:00.001-05:00

Friday February 10, 2006

My 6-year old still has questions about why mommy and daddy aren't together anymore. His big question last night, "Were you sad when daddy said he didn't love you anymore?"

After giving him the canned answer, he responded with his own logic.

"I don't see why, because you are the sweetest mom. You're so sweet."

He said this with a voice so tiny and sincere, that time stopped for me. In fact, I'm still back there somewhere, huddled with him in his room. Twenty years from now, I could stand in the middle of a massive bone-cold nor'easter and still get some warmth from that precious little declaration.

For every reason I have to live a healthy life for myself, there is another reason related to those I live my life to help.

Note to self: Don't post a quick entry from work, where a cubicle neighbor can fart and ruin a precious moment. hehe *sigh

Strength in Numbers

2006-02-09T16:15:00.001-05:00

Thursday, Feburary 9, 2006

Besides having the support of my cleansing co-workers, I am more and more blown away by the level of support shared at the Yahoo group: mastercleanse. I was invited to join the team of moderators, which was logical since I'm a group junkie anyway.

Although you can't argue with the joys of expanding your cleanse vocabulary (thanks everyone for the ever-accurate "butt pee")... I am more impressed at how open and honest people are about the mental aspects of cleansing.

People oftem come my way, wondering if the "cleanse experience" will be good for them. Although we sometimes feel totally unique, wisdom says we basically share the same fears, concerns, and desires for a better life.

So if you're still considering the cleanse, and my blog didn't convince you that butt pee is just groovy... get yourself a free membership to the Yahoo group!

Click to join mastercleanse

Lessons from a Hair Ball

2006-02-07T09:00:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

My 6-year old son was particularly good on a recent shopping trip to Target - so I allowed him one impulse-buy. He chose an overgrown Koosh-like ball called "Hair Ball." It looks like a round green porcupine, and I admit that it's lots of fun to handle.

The huge "hairs" all over the ball are elastic and seem to stretch to infinity. There's only one thing... my son can't stand to see anyone pull a "hair." I was able to leverage this little gem to negotiate some extra peace over the weekend.

Me: "Mommy said sit down and stop making so much noise."

Him: [still running like the energizer bunny]

Me: [yanking about 3 "hairs"]

Him: [Suddenly the picture of perfection, sitting indian-style, and asking for his helpless hair ball]

Now that may sound like parental torture, but it's actually child-level negotiation at its finest. All the parents are nodding in agreement...

Strangely enough, the hair ball reminded me that I need to negotiate my health and leverage what I can. Just like you can't always reason with a small child, there are some things you shouldn't try to reason with yourself. Hating my genes, accepting others' opinions, and signing petitions to shut down the McDonald's empire represent a monumental waste of energy.

But, cleansing and changing habits related to my life are things I can control... and give me leverage over results.

If you're thinking about cleansing, get started right away! Make that the first step to a new life.

I'll wrap this post with the Serenity Prayer... a popular prayer that we should say everyday:

God, give me the serenity to accept the things I can not change...
The courgage to change the things I can...
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Stumbling and Almost Falling

2006-02-02T10:09:00.002-05:00

Thursday, February 2, 2006

I stumbled this week. It's like somebody tied my shoelaces together. While they were at it, they bound and gagged my new personal guidelines for a healthier life - and shoved them into a huge duffel bag.

The past four days have been a challenge. Food calls me to suppress stress and boredom. And alas, I finally had the pop-culture icon of the Standard American Diet.... can you guess what it is?... here are some clues:

If satan could cook, this is the food he would prepare
It smells great when you're craving it, and smells like h@ll when you're trying to eat right
No rational mind on the planet actually wants to eat this food, but can't escape the eerie force field when driving by in a moment of weakness
Just like nicotine is the addictive part of cigarettes, the finger-licking salty sticks are the addictive part of this food

Did you guess McDonald's? LOL!

I finally had McDonald's this week, and it was downhill from there. Slight headache. Poor sleep. Skin breakout. And the worst... craving more bad food. I won't even talk about the Girl Scout cookies that fell out of the sky and landed on my desk yesterday. Well... they kinda landed there after I went to the ATM, took out the money, and paid the dedicated father who was selling them for his daughter...

I almost gave up this morning, but something strange happened...
Even tho I felt bloated, I put on my red suit, and the pants were looser! That was enough to keep me encouraged.

On top of eating right most days, I've made other lifestyle changes. I walk more, and I starting using my 2 hours in the car as an opportunity to exercise. I exercise my legs while on cruise control, my upper body while at red lights, and my abs (crunches) while driving with the pedals. It's scary to sit for 2 hours in the car most days, and then work a desk job all day - which requires a lot more sitting.

One day at a time, gang. One day at a time...

LIfe After Cleansing

2006-01-25T19:15:00.001-05:00

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Life after cleansing is a huge new priority for me. Are we required to go back to the Standard American Diet, and feeling like crap, so we can escape through the euphoria of another cleanse a few months later?

My goal is to see how good I can feel, how healthy I can feel, for how long after a cleanse. Here's a recent post I sent to the great gang at the Yahoo mastercleanse group:

Yesterday was my first real "day off" day.
As many of you know, my plan for life after the cleanse includes (by week):

1. 64 to 80 ounces of water per day (I thought that was a gallon, but it's just half a gallon!)
2. four days of eating right, including the quality of food and attention to total caloric intake - with a focus on good fruits, veggies, whole grains, and good protein (e.g. limit or avoid red meat)
3. one day of fasting (Wednesday, water and some fresh juice only)
4. two days "off" of fairly unmonitored eating

On my first real "day off", I had lunch at my favorite restaurant (tilapia in butter cream sauce and ceasar) and 3 Tastykake cupcakes. I also had water, nuts, and fruit in between.

Well let me tell you, I felt lousy by the end of the nite. I don't think I ever want to see a Tastykake again! What surprised me most was how my next morning went...

By this AM, I wasn't feeling like the glowing ball of vibrant life that I was getting used to. I almost felt "blue." I even thought about starting the day with a Wawa cappuccino! I wanted "relief" and found myself craving the wrong stuff.

My mind wandered back to the kind of eating day I had, and I realized how much food really does affect our emotional state and why cleansing is such a euphoric time. Imagine how terribly we eat on a daily basis sometimes. We really do adjust to being "sick and tired" all the time. Remember how the school was able to eliminate behavior problems in the movie "Super Size" when they switched to a healthy hot lunch program?

I'm really ready to challenge my post-cleanse guideline of "two days off" for eating. I feel like I'm gonna spend this entire fasting day (today) trying to recover from the crap I ate yesterday.

I've even changed the date for my next cleanse from June/July to April. There's no way I'm waiting that long in between cleanses. LOL

Cleanse 2, Days 13 - 15: Body Quits Before I Do

2006-01-17T21:00:00.001-05:00

Friday January 13, thru Sunday January 15, 2006

Day 13 was definitely the most unusual cleanse day I've ever experienced. The mild rejection of the lemonade on Day 12 became a full blown problem today. Not only do I have trouble swallowing the lemonade, but just smelling the individual ingredients turns my stomach.

Day 13 Stats: 4 glasses lemonade, Senna Tea AM and PM

By the end of the day, I was only able to get down 4 glasses of the lemonade - which is 2 short of the 6-glass minimum. In spite of that, I was still willing to continue... UNTIL... I couldn't get the Senna Tea down! It tasted like somebody mixed something strange in my tea, and I had to struggle to get it down. I've only heard of one other person who experienced an actual rejection due to a strange change it taste. Alas, tomorrow must be orange juice!

I awoke on Day 14 still somehow willing to make a go of the lemonade again. As I continued to reject the advice "listen to your body," I am more bent on wanting to finish 21 days! I stepped out of bed and decided to go squeeze some lemons. My stomach leapt and twisted in my body. In perfect obedience, I declared: "No problem. Orange juice it is!"

I continued to "cleanse" today, and felt quite great. I made the right choice.

Day 14 Stats: 1 liter of organic Bolthouse orange juice and a few glasses of water

Day 15 was a repeat of Day 14. Same amount of orange juice and water. Feeling even better. In spite of my personal let-down for missing 21 days, my body keeps screaming what a success the cleanse was. After two days of just orange juice and water, I'm feeling like a spring chicken.

This time around, my life after the cleanse is a MAJOR priority. I'll continue this blog for everyone who's curious about the trials of maintaining weight and other benefits after a cleanse.

For all those interested, my next 10-day cleanse is scheduled for 6 months from now.

Cleanse 2, Day 12: Winding Down Before My Time

2006-01-17T20:50:00.001-05:00

Thursday January 12, 2006

Oh Lordie. I'm starting to experience mild rejections to the lemonade. I wonder if it's related to my tongue turning towards shades of pink.

This unexpected turn is making me a little nervous. This cleanse is part of my "First Fruit" offering for the year. This biblical principle of setting aside the first of the year is an important part of my life. Beyond the regular tithe (10%), first fruit represents consecrating the freshest offering for the Lord. My 21-day goal to fast is offered in addition to my financial offering.

I am going to continue on the cleanse, and explore other "worst case scenario" options. I can always dedicate the balance of the 21 days to fruits/veggies/nuts. Most of all, I want to make sure this is really a physical phenomenon, and not an emotional desire to return to food!

My Daisy Cooks cookbook arrived, and I had a fun time looking at recipes and planning a healthy life after the cleanse...

Keeping it short today, so here's the:

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): We're rolling now! I may be down a whole size, and the mirror is so so good to me right now.
Healing Crisis: None? (gotta follow this "lemonade rejection...")

Rocking on, no mater what...

Cleanse 2, Day 11: Past the Halfway Mark!

2006-01-13T22:10:00.001-05:00

Wednesday January 11, 2006

Alas, the halfway-mark celebration is shadowed by the fact that boredom is setting in. Hey, if you eat anything 3 three times a day for 10 days straight, you may start looking at it a little cross-eyed.

I can say that I'm truly loving the free breast enlargement. C'mon ladies, raise your hands if the fat loss on your belly gave lift and definition to those feminine curves.

Regardless of boredom, I'm pleased with my jump into unknown territory (since my first cleasne was only 10 days). As many cleansers often describe, I am shockingly "unhungry" at this point. Your brain wants to fight with you and force you to believe that you must eat soon. A tiny voice wants to panic when food has been consumed in double-digit days. But your body is also speaking, and the feel-good results fight back against the brain's attack with logic. Then the brain counter-punches with a whiney, "I wanna taste food."

Then I step in and end the match, reminding both that this cleanse isn't just about either of them. I started with a specific purpose to give a first-fruit offering to the Lord for spiritual reasons. Like two children, I send them to their rooms so I can make more lemonade.

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 33.8 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): I can look down and see lap... and chair!
Healing Crisis: None

Flashback:
Wanna see where I was shortly after I finished my first cleanse?
The Day After: Attack of the Oranges

Cleanse 2, Day 10: I'm Every Woman

2006-01-11T13:49:00.001-05:00

Tuesday January 10, 2006

Some time ago, as I helped my 6-year old with his homework, he had a wide-eyed revelation:

"Mommy, you're a teeeeeeee-cher!"

"Why yes, honey, I am."

During the Christmas holiday, I got some scrubs for wearing around the house, and he had another revelation,

"Mommy, you look like a NURSE!"

"I am a nurse, honey."

Whether single parents, wives or mothers, women are still living the life of "every woman."
Wife | Friend | Boo-boo nurse | Teacher | Daughter | Secret-keeper.

That list can go on until the blog crashes or Christ returns - whichever comes first. The "woman" missing at the top of too many lists is "just me."

As I cleanse, the way I look and feel starts actually feeling like "me." The time I take to care for my health - outside of mom and boo-boo nurse - is a step closer to enjoying the "me" that I rarely get to hang out with.

Ever notice how women on makeover shows become a heap of tears in the mirror as they exclaim, "I finally look the way I feel. That's really me."

Every moment I spend on this cleanse is a moment dedicated to me. Besides, everbody benefits when the boo-boo nurse has lots of energy and lives a long life.

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): Noticeable shrinkage in the midsection
Healing Crisis: Not sure, but nauseous cramps and loud ringing in ears in the evening that was gone when I woke up.
Wildcard stat: I've caught myself running up the steps enough to rival Rocky Balboa.

Flashback:
Wanna see where I was on Day 10 of my first cleanse?
Day 10, Part I: To Be or Not to Be Done(?)
Day 10, Part II: The Finish Line

Cleanse 2, Day 9: Flushing Cowburgers

2006-01-11T13:41:00.001-05:00

Monday January 9, 2005

Wow. Thank God for small favors. I was off from work today with my son, who was fighting some sorta bug.

I've been eliminating today like I ate an entire cow the night before the cleanse. Make that a bacon-cheddar cow, with bun and all. Unlike the first cleanse, where I had many days of regular, but light elimination - I've been sloughing off stuff from Day 1 this time.

I had a few crappy moments today. I suspect that whatever emotion I've been medicating with food... it's coming to meet me head-to-head. I've been snarky with the kids, and I hit a period of emotional hunger. I can't help but wonder if it's because tomorrow is "supposed" to be the last day of a cleanse... and Day 11 becomes unfamiliar territory for me.

Funny how I can feel so crappy and look so great. The skin is still glowing! lol

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 40 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Nothing (fell asleep!)
Weight Loss: About the same
Healing Crisis: Dark spots on the whites of my eyes today, that lightened/went away by evening.

Flashback:
Wanna see where I was on Day 9 of my first cleanse?
Day 9, Part I: The MasterCard(R) Commercial
Day 9, Part II: The Beat Goes On

Cleanse 2, Day 8: The Standoff with Johnny Carino

2006-01-10T18:30:00.001-05:00

Sunday January 8, 2006

I took my kids to our favorite restaurant today, Johnny Carino's. This was a much greater test of my will, compared to Pizza Hut. When the menu came, I could hear the old Western movie gun fight music. I clicked my spurs and positioned my hand over the holster.

Victory for me is defined as a new relationship with food. Success means the ablity to say "no" when necessary. And face it, if I can't look Carino in the face without breaking a sweat, how will I ever succeed when I'm outside of the protective lemonade barrier??

The waiter, Alex, was the fun part of the night. I told him to pass by me, because I won't be eating in January.

[Eyes growing big] "You're not eating for a month??"

[Shrugging] "No, just 21 days."

By now, Alex's eyes look like they might pop out of his head and land on the table. For something that gross, I'd expect a free meal.

Alex made several trips back to our table for more information. He was fascinated. I love when somebody is willing to accept new information regarding proper health and longevity. Alex became my foster child. His curiosity was lovable.

By the end of the meal, our young 20-something server was considering the cleanse to break some barriers with his weight and overall health.

I left the name of the book and a 58% tip to make sure he remembered our conversation.

Alex, you rock, man.

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): The comments are coming in. It's very noticeable at this point.
Healing Crisis: None
Wildcard Stat: Survived the first and only time I will ever enter Carino's and not order something, like the amazing Garlic Jalepeno Tilapia. That's just crazy talk.

Flashback:
Wanna see where I was on Day 8 of my first cleanse?
Day 8: Stuck on Snarky

Cleanse 2, Day 7: Food Fantasy Graduates to Entire Restaurant Fantasy

2006-01-10T18:15:00.001-05:00

Saturday January 7, 2006

I took my boys to Pizza Hut today. While they sat and ate pizza, I wrote a mini-business plan for a unique restaurant. As I consider life after the cleanse, I'm disappointed by the food choices available to families who want to dine out.

I have to admit, the restaurant idea could be a defense mechanism for surviving an afternoon at Pizza Hut. It could be my chitlin food fantasy turning into a full blown "restaurant fantasy."

I've been watching a lot of cooking shows. Some say this introduces temptation, and only a nut would cleanse and watch people cook scrumptious food. But I'm taking a different position. My post-cleanse life is all about better food choices. Watching those shows now is building an arsenal of better skills while NOT under the pressue of eating.

The best part of the day? My 13-year old son was my two-armed tape measure on my first cleanse. He discovered that he could get his arms around my waist by day 7. Today, he conducted the same test and found he could overlap his wrists on the other side.

Today was a slow day, so straight to the quick stats:

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: SWF (1/2), PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: None
Wildcard Stat: The youngest person in the family to ever need Preparation H to make it through a day.

Flashback:
Want to see where I was on Day 7 of my first cleanse?
Day 7, Part I: The Two-Armed Tape Measure
Day 7, Part II: The Tolerance of a Flea

Cleanse 2, Day 6: Pass the Preparation H

2006-01-06T19:15:00.001-05:00

Friday January 6, 2006
If you stopped by yesterday, you'll remember how I was fantasizing about chitlins. If you have any idea what a chitlin is, you might say it was a coincidence that I suddenly have a hemorrhoid!

I know hemorrhoids are the hush-hush little problem that we keep to ourselves, but nothing is sacred when you're cleansing. We're getting a good laugh at the mastercleanse Yahoo group since discovering that we're okay talking about bowels movements, but shy about hemorrhoids.

I've actually only had 1 or 2 mild cases in my life, so I was surprised like the Publishers Clearing House winner when I woke up this morning.

Just in case that wasn't interesting enough, here's a few more blurbs from Day 6:

* I had a more-than-mild cramp this AM. I had to turn over on my back and felt the darned thing "move" when I touched it.
* Just like my first fast, I love how I'm walking fast everywhere. And it's totally unintentional. I used to think I walked slower because I have short legs. I was the one in the group telling everybody to "slow down." I'm convinced, without a doubt, it was a function of energy and overall health.

I suspect I'm going home to another "debate" with my 6-year old over why he can't share mommy's "juice." In spite of the fact that the household menu shows take-out from our favorite pizza place, he's gonna try to hijack my lemonade.

Quick Stats:
Glasses of Lemonade: 6
Additional Water: 33.8 ounces (don't ask me how I know the details)
AM: Senna, PM: Senna
Weight Loss: Body parts that used to rub together when I walked are breating a sigh of relief.
Healing Crisis: Do hemorrhoids count???
Wildcard Stat: I talked about my hiney today more than ever in history.

Quick Tip for Cleansers:
When I started my first cleanse, I was using glass iced tea bottles with metal lids. One day, I noticed a black liquid on my hands. The lemons were corroding the metal cap, and I'd been drinking that black stuff. Now I use plastic bottles with plastic lids. It seems like a small thing, but not something you think about your first time around.

Flashback:
See where I was on Day 6 of my first cleanse:
Day 6: Exodus from Mount Toxic Waste

See you tommorrow. Rock on.

Cleanse 2, Day 5: So Smooth That I Lost Count

2006-01-06T01:00:00.001-05:00

Thursday January 5, 2006

I woke up this morning thinking how great it was to be on Day 4. It took me serveral hours into the day to realize that I was on Day 5! I guess it's like a road you've traveled before... once you take the trip, all future trips seem shorter because the route is familiar. The unknown associated with my first cleanse made some days seem like an eternity.

The road has been so smooth, I'll focus today on providing some sound bytes:

* I slept great last night. No Senna Shaking in my gut waking me in the middle of the night.
* When I woke up, the bloating from Day 4 was gone.
* My lips are terribly dry. Although it's the winter season, my lips are drier than usual.
* My face is an oily mess. Skin usually dries-out in winter, but mine looks like a teenage acne eruption waiting to happen.
* The sensitive tooth (gum spot) is worse. That makes brushing a chore. I reported the same problem on Day 10 of my first cleanse, and noted that it started somewhere around Day 5. How strange to have the exact same symptom, on the exact day.

I also had my first official food fantasy today. My cleansing co-worker and I got to talking about soul food, and the discussion of Chitlins sent my mind skidding off the Cleansing Highway. I think I landed in a ditch covered in Black-Eyed Peas. I tried to climb out, but slipped on the Collard Greens. The fantasy almost ran away with me when it started raining Deviled Eggs. You get the picture?

Quick Stats:
Glass of Lemonade: 6
Additional Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea (1/2 cup)
Healing Crisis: None, if you don't count the painful tooth/gum.
Weight Loss: My face/neck is shrinking.
Wildcard Stat: Set a record for consecutive "No" when 6-year old son insisted we share my lemonade. He was satisfied when the night ended with a small sip. Humph. Kids.

Flashback:
Check out where I was on Day 5 of my first cleanse:
Day 5, Part 1: Squirrels and Salt Water Flush Don't Mix
Day 5, Part 2: Furry Teeth That Want to Chew

Cleanse 2, Day 4: Hold the Cake, Just Give Me the Candles

2006-01-04T20:50:00.001-05:00

Wednesday January 4, 2006

When scheduling a cleanse, you do your very best to avoid times when eating is almost necessary. Holidays, birthdays, and family reunions are the worst time to cleanse. But alas... I missed one.

With an airy sigh in her voice, my mother had a revelation, "Oooooooh. You'll still be fasting on my birthday."

Ouch. I can't remember a year that we didn't celebrate my mother's birthday with some kinda meal. How could I have missed that one? There won't be cake or any other festive food for me. Just pass me a candle. For a moment, I was disappointed with her. On the other hand, I'm enjoying the journey of finding a replacement.

Quick Notes About the Day:
* Bloating, gas, and belching today. That's a surprise for me.
* Still don't miss food one bit. The days are flashing by. 21-days, here I come...

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: None
Wildcard Stat: I've used enough toilet paper to wipe King Kong for a week. That's a lotta bananas.

Find out how I was doing on Day 4 of my first cleanse:
Cleanse Day 4: If You Could Only Take Two Things With You

Cleanse 2, Day 3: Chicken Burrito with Beans and Salmonella Sauce

2006-01-04T01:30:00.001-05:00

Tuesday January 3, 2006

Why are women so strange about being heard in a public bathroom stall?

Today was the first day back to work while on the cleanse. I was reminded of how “colorful” bathroom trips can be. As I was fighting not to sound like I had a Chicken Burrito with Beans and Salmonella Sauce, I wondered why women are so dainty about public bathrooms.

Face it, men stand in cattle lines with their family jewels in hand, and we’re afraid of a few sound effects. Sheesh. LOL

Anyway, besides my public bathroom antics, today was smooth sailing. I eased my own fear of 21-days by rationalizing:

Gee, that’s only 6 more of what I just did (3 days).
Six sounds a whooooole lot better than 18.
Hey, whatever works. ;-)

Other quick notes about the day:
* Woke up with a mild sore throat
* My calves shrank already!
* I slept like a baby
* Just like the last cleanse, I find myself walking fast everywhere. I find that "symptom" quite funny, since I usually complain that everybody is walking too fast.

Quick Stats:

Glasses of Lemonade: 6
Ounces of Water: 40
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: Not really, just a few itchy spots on the skin in the AM.
No-Scale Weight Loss: Hmmm.. Feet look longer when not wrapped in bloating.
Wildcard Stat: I posted more times to the Yahoo masterclease Group than any other day.

Flashback:

Take a look at where I was on Day 3 of my first cleanse:
Day 3, Part I: Control (Like Janet)
Day 3, Part II: Over Tall Buildings in a Single Bound

Just in case you missed it, Salmonella is the bacteria, which causes food poisoning.

Cleanse 2, Day 2: Thank God for Cleansing During the Holiday

2006-01-03T01:30:00.001-05:00

Monday January 2, 2006

The day started with a “healing crisis” early in the morning. By 5:40am, I had a rapid heartbeat and wasn’t feeling very well at all. Several years ago, I was on beta blockers to assist with palpitations and rapid heartbeat. The worst started two days after giving birth to my 6-year old. I was rushed to the cardiac ward with a resting heart rate dangerously close to 200 beats per minute. As the staff explained, “200 beats is fast enough to make the heart quit trying.” I have never seen maternity nurses scramble so fast. They seemed more afraid than I was. I remember clearly, it felt like my chest was full of air, and I had to pee a lot. Other than that, I kept asking if I could get up or nurse the baby. Their shocked faces should have been a clear clue.

Anyway, I was actually happy to start Day 2 with a “healing crisis,” because it means I’m getting down to business. In my mind, I was cleansing whatever caused those heartbeat problems in the past. I also knew the crisis would pass. By 10am, I was feeling great – and VERY thankful I wasn’t cleansing at work. That particular “healing crisis” may have prompted me to quit… just to escape the symptoms at work. And I NEVER want to quit just a few days into a cleanse.

It’s 21 days or bust, baby.

Quick Stats:

Glasses of Lemonade: 6
Ounces of Water: 20
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: Heck yes, rapid heart rate, lasting about 3 hours
Weight Loss: Wow. Feet shrank. Son noticed. No kidding. They were bloated from holiday eating.
Wildcard Stat: Somehow I think I get an award for "fewest food fantasies on day 2."

Flashback

Check out where I was on Day 2 of my first cleanse:
Day 2, Part I | Day 2, Part II

Cleanse 2, Day 1: Dodging Cheese Biscuits

2006-01-02T01:45:00.001-05:00

Sunday, January 1, 2006

Here was the fun part of the day: Sitting in Red Lobster watching my 13-year old son eat dinner. We always eat out for dinner after church. And just like clockwork, he wanted to know: Where are we gonna eat this time?

“We?????” [not the sweet kind...but the kind with an attitude]

“Oh. Yeah. Right. Where am I gonna eat today?” [not noticing the fire in my eyes]

After recovering from the urge to drop him out of the car and speed off, I realized he was right. As a single mom with two boys, I’m outa luck for cleansing buddies in the house. My routine should be the only one that changes.

The Red Lobster host and the waiter both stared at my lemonade mix. I was clearly breaking the rule “No Outside Food.” I must have looked insane enough for them to resist approaching me about the subject. I felt like Queen of the Hill as I sniffed cheddar biscuits and happily passed.

The start of the day was a little shaky. I didn’t have the senna tea the night before, because I only one tea bag that I was trying to save. Yikes.

My body got right to work. I certainly gave PLENTY of reason. I ate holiday-style until the last possible minute. I’m talking Jamaican Curry Chicken and Rice at around 1am, and a fried chicken leg after 2am – all after a New Year’s night service.

The day in summary: Mild headaches. Plenty of elimination. The “heavy body” detox feeling. And one big grin for finally starting.

Quick Stats:

Glasses of Lemonade: 6 (barely.. still forcing it down after 11pm)
Ounces of Water (additional): None
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: None
Weight Loss: None
Wildcard Stat: I think I broke a bathroom record for Cleanse Day 1.

Flashback:

Wanna see where I was on Day 1 of my first cleanse?

Cleanse 2, Day 0: Searching the Sofa Cushions for Excuses

2006-01-01T01:00:00.001-05:00

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Oh boy. The roaring decision to go on a 21-day fast is turning into a whimper. I’ve been on a preparation roller coaster that Ritalin couldn’t cure.

One day I’m excited about the cleanse. The next day my mind is searching for excuses like a junkie looking for extra change between the sofa cushions.

“The 31^st is right after the holiday. You’ll be loaded with holiday food and that will make the cleanse harder.”

“The last cleanse was barely three months ago. This one is too soon.”

The list went on and on…
I’m happy to report that I stepped off the roller coaster and settled into my decision – with a big smile on my face.

This time around, I’m adding some quick stats to my posts. Somebody from the Master Cleanse group at Yahoo gave me this idea. My scale is on the fritz, so those stats won’t include weight loss in pounds.

See you tomorrow!

Wisdom Comes Wrapped in Christmas Paper

2005-12-29T13:29:00.001-05:00

I purchased a Polaroid Dual-Screen DVD Player for the boys this Christmas. What a buy!

For a limited amount of money, I was able to solve a priceless problem for moms: Getting the kids to travel in silence without some kinda argument or other nerve-numbing, patience-pushing problem. In fact, as the DVD was placed under the tree, the gift tag specifically declared "No more fighting in the car." Dang, based on the results, that gift tag should have had my name on it.

What does this have to do with cleansing?

Many of us have developed horrendous eating habits (and other habits, like smoking etc.) over 2 or more decades. But for the limited price of some lemons, and 10-days of reasonable focus, we can experience the priceless results of starting a new life of good health. When you consider it that way, a 10-day cleanse, just like the kids' new DVD, is a small thing.

Can I get an Amen from the folks who saw life-changing results in just 10 days?

You guys rock.

Crazy Pie-in-the-Face, Out-on-a-Limb, Lost-Your-Bleeping-Mind Cleansing Faith

2005-12-07T09:12:00.001-05:00

Wednesday December 7, 2005

Anything done in crazy faith attracts pie-in-the-face criticism. That’s not only true in circles of religious faith, so don’t run away thinking I’m preparing for a preachy sermon loaded with fire and brimstone. It takes crazy faith to be an inventor. Starting a business in a garage that becomes a software giant takes cuckoo faith. Let’s not forget the insane faith required to be a pioneer of social change. People from all of these faith circles endured great criticism – that is until the fruit of their labor was in full bloom.

I’m taking the long route to describe a brief conversation I had with a co-worker recently about the Master Cleanse. My co-worker is one of my favorite people and he suffers with neck pain that ranges from a nuisance to an excruciating and debilitating monster. He performs detailed research on the topic and visits many doctors for relief. Yet he suffers, and on some level, I hurt with him.

In our last conversation about the cleanse, he shared his effort to learn more and more about the cleanse for fear there may be long-term consequences. That’s fair enough, because I did the same before I made my leap of faith. But to help him understand that faith is always and the end of knowledge, I told him one simple thing:

“The same faith that you exercise when you put yourself into the hands of another doctor is the same faith required to start the Master Cleanse.”

You can learn as much as you want about a particular topic, but faith is where the rubber hits the road.

If you’re reading this from a chair right now, you’re a faith warrior. Why? Your brain understands how chairs work. You have lots of experience with chairs. But to sit in one without knowing the actual outcome takes faith. Does that sound crazy? Stick with me for a moment…

The Bible defines faith as:

The essence of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

You have no idea if your chair developed a structural problem. You don’t know if somebody tinkered with the chair in your absence. But you punctuate your knowledge with faith every time you plop your weight into the chair – because you can’t see the future and know if you’ll end up piled on the floor. Just like the scripture implies: You have a hope and expectation that the chair will hold you although the outcome is not seen.

Read everything you can get your hands on regarding the Master Cleanse. Speak to others who have traveled the road. And when that’s all done, remember that faith – not knowledge – will pave your way for a successful cleanse.

...Make that crazy faith, because planning to drink lemonade for 10 or more days will certainly draw strong criticism from your personal circle. Yet the outcome will shut every mouth and probably create a few more cleansers!

Rock on.

Bad Habits Bite Back

2005-11-03T15:00:00.001-05:00

Thursday November 3, 2005

I have an interesting story that isn't for the weak-bellied, virgin-eyes of men who can't handle discussions of female problems. I will say this... the cleanse sent relief for a problem that I thought may result in a major health crisis sometime in the near future. Within the next few days, I'm going to send that story to my female friends via e-mail. If I miss you, drop me a line and I'll make sure to forward...

But for today, I want to talk about what happens when a bad habit gets a foot in the door.

I hit a stressful period over the past 2 weeks. Take a personal injury, add some normal frustration, throw in a dash of family crisis, shake it in a bottle.... and you have my last 2 weeks.

I actually ate junk food two days in the last 2 weeks, and one of those days was yesterday. I didn't stop at the Twix after lunch, but I threw in an Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich and a small bag of Funyuns before bed. The result is amazing. Not only am I bloated today, but I feel icky and I was sneezing my head off all morning!

I am actually thankful for my body's quick rejection of bad habits. It gives me the energy to have a better day today. But it also reminds me of the potentially devestating effects that bad habits have over many years.

I do know one thing... One more totally unexpected problem this week might send me off the edge into a vat of liquid chocolate. Pass me a straw and get outa my way. :-)

The Tragic Aftermath

2005-10-26T15:00:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I must request a moment of silence for body fat... specifically the fat on my belly. You see, since the cleanse, I haven't been able to stomach any meat besides fish. I ate two eggs on the 3rd day after the cleanse and thought I would keel over. My tummy shrank, along with some other stuff. Body fat is dead. What a tragedy... NOT!

I am enjoying a life of fruit, veggies, grains, nuts, fish, and some cheese. Yes. ENJOYING. I don't miss meat a lick. As a result, I can look down while I'm driving and see my lap. Wow. Just as I was getting used to seeing stomach and knees... I can see LAP. The law should probably count lap-watching in the same category as "driving while talking on a cell phone," because a new lap is very distracting.

I still see some bad habits trying to surface, like too many refined carbs. But boy oh boy. The good habits are coming out of the woodwork.

I keep clean (distilled, reverse osmosis, spring) water in the house... much more than I used to.
I spend more time in the produce section of the market than the meat, snack, and bread sections put together.
When I purchased prepared foods on my last Whole Foods trip... they were all veggie based. Corn cakes. Greens with garlic. Ummmm.
I eat very few sweets now. I was no "sweet tooth" before, but I'm eating even less.
I don't graze all day. I have no desire to visit the snack machine to fight the midday blahs.

I am totally annoyed that January is still 3 months away. I'm counting the time for my 20-day cleanse. As I told Scott today, I've become the Cleanse Evangelist!

The Day After: Attack of the Oranges

2005-10-19T17:15:00.001-04:00

October 19, 2005

I would really like to thank all the oranges that gave their lives to sustain me today.

As most cleansers know, the day after a cleanse is all about the orange juice. It feels strange drinking something besides the lemonade. In fact, I have to dilute my juice. Too strong.

Mom treated to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's tonight. I went with the healthy onion soup (no cheese and no floating crouton). After a single shallow bowl, I was stuffed! I bit the tip off a french fry... and was unimpressed. I have no taste for it. If I ever return to a life of junky food... it will be about stress and habits... not taste.

I developed a pain in my left ankle today which got worse as the day progressed. I was limping by evening. I figure it's a cleanse symptom, but it's feeling like a real injury.

I had no problems with the soup, although it was likely made with a beef broth base. Didn't upset my stomach or anyting.

It amazes me that I can drink juice all day, eat a small serving of soup, and feel like I had a 4-course feast.

Screw 4 to 6 months... I'm doing this cleasne again in January!

More tomorrow.

Cleanse Day 10, Part II: The Finish Line

2005-10-19T12:30:00.002-04:00

October 18, 2005

I'm still not sure whether I should laugh or cry. Besides accepting Jesus, this cleanse is the best choice I've ever made. As I look at my last bottle of lemonade, I wonder about life-off-the-cleanse. I notice I'm still eliminating some solid matter and wonder if I should add another day. Then I realize I don't have the ingredients, and I settle for the Finish Line.

Now here's a weird symptom that I keep forgetting to note: One tooth became sensitive somewhere around Day 5. No cavity. No nothing. But when I first touch that toothbrush and cold water to my mouth, that tooth sends off an alarm. It's almost like the sensitivity is near the gum of that tooth. Very unusual, and I'm interested to see if it disappears after the cleanse is over.

Notes to those thinking about the cleanse, or on the cleanse:

1. Don't settle for less than 10 days. I've read stories about people lasting fewer days for many reasons. Some are afraid. Some get bored with the lemonade although not hungry. This was my first cleanse and I was determined to last the minimum recommended 10 days. Based on my experience, 3 - 5 days is just a kick-start. The real benefits and increased elimination came after that.

2. Some experienced tiredness. I only experienced that when I wasn't drinking enough lemonade. It's amazing how the lemonade really packs enough "stuff" to live on.

Tomorrow, don't forget to visit the blog and read about the challenges of Life After the Cleanse.

Cleanse Day 10, Part I: To Be Or Not To Be Done(?)

2005-10-18T18:45:00.001-04:00

October 18, 2005

Where did the time go? Here I am, on big DAY 10... the day I settled would be the last day of the cleanse.

I've had some healthy elimination today, and it makes me wonder if I should continue. My tongue is losing the coating, and the book says a normal tongue is a sign that the cleanse is over. My teeth are almost fuzz free, and I still feel great.

I have to take this opportunity to give big ups and a hearty thanks to Wolf Pacheco. my coworker who blessed me by sharing this cleanse. I'll never forget sitting in Wolf's office... when he was on DAY 18 of his second cleanse... and seeing how utterly healthy and "changed" he looked. Besides having one of the coolest names on the planet, Wolf is one cool dude. He was always willing to hang a shingle and become Dr. Wolf when I nagged him with questions about the cleanse. Wolf is going for round 3 in January or so. Check the blog, because I might too!

Speaking of blog... there's more to the cleanse than the 10 days of lemonade. There are days of coming off the cleanse, and years of adopting to a healthier life. I'll keep this blog alive until the server crashes - or the Lord returns - whichever comes first. I look forward to sharing life after this cleanse... and all future cleanses.

Tomorrow is a day of orange juice. I don't know about you, but that sounds scary to me after days of drinking a certain mix. Sometimes I imagine that I'm so clean inside, any solid food eaten over the next few days may burst straight thru to the other end like a deadly missle.

More later, as Day 10, Part II will be my last post for the cleanse.

Tomorrow is a new day. Look forward to Post-Cleanse Day 1: Attack of the Oranges!

Cleanse Day 9, Part II: The Beat Goes On

2005-10-18T12:50:00.001-04:00

October 17, 2005

Wow. This has been quite a ride. It's amazing what a clearer mind can do.

I made an adjustment with my 6-year old son on Friday. It's incredible what the "guilt" of a divorce can cause a single mom to do. I was compensating for my son's broken heart by giving him more latitude. The worst part, I didn't realize I was doing it. I thought he was simply a rebel. He was really a kid with a poor boundary. After making slight adjustments, he was writing me love notes by Sunday night! No kidding... God bless him.

Wham boom. Monday afternoon, I get a glowing report from his teacher. She laughed and said she was gonna check with the office to make sure she had the right class. Even my son's "partner in crime" was a good boy that day. I wonder if that made my son the ring-leader(?) I wouldn't doubt it for a second. *sigh LOL

I still walk a lot faster. I wonder if it's because I'm no longer a fire hazard... since my thighs have parted ways. Yeah, they're still close friends. But all that rubbing is over.

You know, I have an awesome co-worker who led me to this cleanse. I'll give him big props on the blog tomorrow, but for now, I have to say this: You know somebody is really cool when you're allowed to interrupt their work day to ask about bathroom habits. Nothing says "love" like a good bowel chat.

I had a lovely trip to the health food store again yesterday. Here are a few things pertaining to planned life after the cleanse:

1. I was required to shop often for the cleanse, which is also a necessity for a healthy diet. I had no "quick and easy" options for the lemonade. I will keep that habit, and stay away from quick meals void of nutrition. I believe I'm going to sell my commercial freezer. When eating healthier, a family of 3 should only need the freezer over the fridge. Everything else should be fresh.

2. My pantry is almost empty now. I dedicated a shelf to pots and pans. Why? I purged canned food. In terms of quality, frozen is second best to fresh. Canned is the bottom of the pit. If something that was once alive can last on a shelf for a year... that should give pause.

3. My son had an organic pizza with a whole wheat crust, with basil pesto sauce yesterday. Still no fast food pizza for him. I won't quit this trip when it comes to the kids. They follow my lead, and I'm responsible for leading them to a healthier life.

4. It isn't all about the food. TV... even with the kids... is a poor quality option. Yes, I believe we should have our few favorites that we watch together. But, I have had the time of my life playing and chatting with the kids. I didn't realize how far we'd traveled from that. Sometimes "busy" is your worst enemy.

More tomorrow, on big DAY 10.

Cleanse Day 9, Part I: The MasterCard(R) Commercial

2005-10-17T13:00:00.001-04:00

October 17, 2005

It's Day 9! One day before the last day! And that snarky chick is dead! I guess she met the Porcelain Grave like the other toxins.

19 Organic Lemons: $20.10
1 Bottle of Organic Grade B Maple Syrup: $9.99
A pasta and cheese girl craving a tomato salad over spring greens with crumbled bleu cheese w/ champaigne baked chicken breast... totally and utterly frickin priceless.

I guess I should pause for some of you to pick yourselves up off the floor. If you know me at all... anything with "tomatoes and salad" in the same sentence sounds like crazy-talk. I'd better call mom and make sure she didn't have a massive coronary.

I walked into Wawa today to buy my son's school snack. About the only thing I buy there now is peanut butter crackers and yogurt. Even that's a stretch. Did you ever just look at the contents of a convenience store???? Yeah. Hmmm. Convenient place to breed disease.

I remember a local Wawa employee who lost a lot of weight and looked great. I asked her what she was doing. She loudly proclaimed "I stopped eating the food here." It took her a second to realize the oops. I guess the arrows flying out of her supervisor's eyes didn't help. But she was quite passionate about it. She shared with a whisper, "I took time to read the ingredients of the food we prepare here, and just couldn't eat it anymore." Wow. She didn't work there much longer than that. I wonder if she got in trouble for the remark or simply left after the revelation and change in health.

I started bi-monthly trips to Marlton NJ to visit Trader Joe's and Whole Foods long before I started the cleanse. Now, more than ever, I'm not comfortable in a convenience store or the local food market. By taking my mom with me, she has the same reaction when we miss a trip, and finds her way to our much-smaller local health food market.

In the book The China Study, the author declares that the state of disease in the U.S. comes down to three things: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'm sold. It's a new day.

Notes to those on the cleanse:

1. The body does regulate based on the new schedule. I find that my salt water flush works faster in the AM, and now I can make it through the night after Senna tea (without waking at weird hours for the Bathroom Dash.)

2. Organic limes are a nice change for two reasons (a) they cost less than lemons but give more juice per fruit LOL and (2) they add variety. Even with all the benefits of the cleanse, I find "food boredom" my worst enemy.

3. It's day 9 and I have one day left. I opted for the 10-day cleanse, but I'm already rethinking that decision. I look forward to breaking the cleanse on Wednesday and eating solid food by the weekend with the family. But, I don't look forward to deep-sixing the awesome physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits of being on the cleanse. I may not "break" after tomorrow. More on that later...

Cleanse Day 8: Stuck on Snarky

2005-10-17T12:25:00.001-04:00

October 16, 2005

Oh Lord. My attitude is still stuck on snarky. It's much more fun to be annoyed by a known pest. I managed to limit the two-headed monster with the kids - even got in a few of our fun games with them.

I have more energy than ever, and my clothes are starting to reveal the weight loss.

Now if I could just find the switch on the snark-o-meter. It's like a 2-day bout with PMS without the actual PM. Ha. That just leaves "syndrome."

Pastor found a single mistake on the programs for the evening service, and I thought I was gonna shred the draft and go join a cult somewhere. LOL

Not much new to report about cleansing. But I will declare to those considering: Do not quit - no matter what.

I'll be posting two parts for Day 9, starting tomorrow morning.

Cleanse Day 7, Part II: The Tolerance of a Flea

2005-10-17T12:00:00.001-04:00

October 15, 2005

For some reason, my annoyance meter is stuck on hair-raising. I have zero patience with the kids.

The apology I owe the kids was an easy thing. They must be wondering where there mother went! But the hard part is answering the question... "What am I so annoyed about?"

I have a few theories. I've read that when you cleanse, you also cleanse your emotional (attitude) centers. Sounded a little loopy to me until today. Foods are also connected to attitude, emotions and behaviors. Am I cleansing that part of my body???

I also wonder if I'm getting nervous about the approach of Day 10. I don't think I'm ready to ween from my lemonade!

Anyway, I sure wouldn't want to live with me today, but I have no choice.

On a positive note, I'm still feeling great (physically).

Yesterday, the boys wanted Pizza Hut. Not on my watch! I don't want to leave them a legacy that requires cleansing to "fix" their health. The 6-year old settled for Vegan Lasagna, and the 13-year old settled for gluten-free pizza, with a rice crust, made with organic ingredients. Aaaaaah. That's better. A meal a mother can feel good about!

More tomorrow.

Cleanse Day 7, Part I: The Two-Armed Tape Measure

2005-10-16T00:30:00.001-04:00

October 14, 2005/October 15, 2005

This is really a summary of the end of Day 6. I just couldn't resist writing a Part II...

As I prepared my tea for the bedtime ritual, my 13-year old son ran to give me a hug. He stepped away and paused before returning to his video game. Now if you know my son, anything that causes him to pause before a video game is a big deal.

"Hmmm. Wow, mom. I can get both arms around you."

Now let me qualify that statement. He can probably barely get those short little arms around Halle Berry or Tyra Banks, right????

Anyway, I did notice how he was able to clasp his hands together. Makes me wish I did a weigh-in before the cleanse. (Hush, Wolf. I know... metrics, metrics. I'll get to you on this blog later). :-)

I feel strange. Not bad strange...

"Heavy" is a good term to describe the feeling after large or poor meals... because the strange I feel right now is "light." My movemenst don't feel hindered... almost fluid... like moving in water. Did someone spike my lemonade???

I see how super-healthy eaters stay in such great shape in terms of exercise. It's easy to be vital and active when you feel this good.

Notes to those on the cleanse:

1. I have experienced a few bouts with mild dizziness. They go away as quickly as they start. Have more lemonade and realize that the body is working something out. Don't assume symptoms are from a lack of food and quit the cleanse. Be in it to win it, baby.

2. I'm in day 7. When you get this far in a 10-day cleanse, start mapping your plan for after the cleanse including (1) the list of things you need to come off the cleanse correctly and (2) a personal plan for adopting and maintaining healthy eating habits.

3. Never argue that your lemonade is your "food" to a six-year old. Their logic will always win after declaring, "It can't be chewed because there are no whole lemons in it." Smartypants.

Cleanse Day 6: Exodus From Mount Toxic Waste

2005-10-14T15:30:00.002-04:00

October 14, 2005

Today is a one-blog-post day. I have an event to attend tonight, and probably won't be around.

My left eye has been a little red for the past two days. Today it let me know why. It's running. Eeeew. My sinuses opend the Phlegm Factory today. Woulda rather missed that grand opening event. Seeing much more debris in the Porcelain Soup Bowl too. All of this indicates the next phase: The Mass Exodus From Mount Toxic Waste.

The ol' body is letting go of "stuff." My throat feels great, but it still sounds like Kermit took up residence. Skin splotch jumped-up onto my right cheek yesterday, and was gone from my face before I could get home. Had a slight "nervous" tremor in my hands last two nites around bedtime. Time for the ol' girl to part the red sea and let the toxins exodus outa Egypt.

Speaking of Exodus, I am feeling a little like Moses right now. Older. Wiser. Fresh off a mountain from receiving the 10 commandments. Well, except it was 10 lemons with some maple syrup.

I set aside some TV watching the past 2 days, and found I didn't really want to use that time. I've enjoyed the quiet evenings of playing with the boys and then reading after they go to bed. I insisted on seeing Everwood, tho. And our game of choice?? Donkey Konga 2 on Nintendo Gamecube. There's a lotta fun packed in that game!

My sons have developed a healthy curiosity about the lemonade and mom's new aversion to food. The oldest thinks it's way cool. The youngest just wants to taste the lemonade all the time. I'm thinking:

"You have a plate of homecooked goodness, and you want cleanse lemonade?" What a clown.

Still having very vivid dreams. The last one featured a cameo appearance by the same neighbor! I'm startin' to wonder.....

Notes for those on the cleanse:

1. Keep your lemonade with you at all times. Carry more than you think you need. If you get pulled away or have an extra errand to run, you don't want to get hungry.

2. Since my Senna tea was still working from the nite before, I skipped the SWF and had another cup of tea for breakfast. This is allowed, but I wouldn't make it a habit. Most accounts hail SWF as the primo was to move waste in the AM.

3. Be a living testimony and share with others. The response from those around me has been extremely positive. I guess they're thinking, "I'll try this now. Your fool-butt didn't keel over yet, so I guess it's okay."

More tomorrow...

Cleanse Day 5, Part II: Furry Teeth that Want to Chew

2005-10-13T20:00:00.001-04:00

October 13, 2005

That furry growth on the teeth is proving a weird little pest. The furry growth is cured by brushing, but accumulates lightly after the morning brush, and before I can get home from work. Looks like I have to become one of those geeks that brushes at work. hehehe

I still don't feel a lick of hunger. The body gave in and gave up food the first day. Didn't have the nerve to pester me with hunger pangs. But I'm on an emotional withdrawal today.

I mentioned last night how I had a strange "blue" feeling come and go. Today, Mr. Blue has been creeping again, and I realize what it is. Although the body gave up a long time ago, the mind seems to just be catching up.

"What, you're really not going to EAT? These teeth with the fuzzy growth really won't CHEW?"

By many accounts, cleansers reach a point where it's not about the toxins or absent food. It's about a new clarity in other areas. I'm at the halfway point. Things I notice:

I have so much more structure to my day. Since daily preparation is crucial during a cleanse, my whole schedule is improved. I get up earlier. I'm even better about timely meals for the kids because I have to spend time preparing lemonade anyway. While I was waiting for my SWF to kick in today, I actually sat with the 6-year old and read him a book while he ate his breakfast cereal!

The usual routine is: rush out the door at the last minute, grab some quick (and icky) breakfast, eat in the car and rush to school. Now, he's eating an organic cereal before school and not rushing at all.

Life is good. More later. *grinning ear to ear*

Cleanse Day 5, Part I: Squirrels and Salt Water Flush Don't Mix

2005-10-13T14:30:00.001-04:00

October 13, 2005

The Salt Water Flush was finally a success today. I still only drank 75% to 80% of it, but...

Tip for Those Who Want to Try the Cleanse:
The directions say "lukewarm" for the SWF, but I added a few degrees. I got great results even tho I was not able to drink 100% of the mixture.

The results were so good, I was still in flush mode on the way to my son's school. The squirrel that ran in front of my car on this rainy day almost caused an incident in the car - if you know what I mean. Note to self: no sudden moves or startling events while still Flushing. I learned the same lesson yesterday when I was practically running into the building and jumped onto the curb. The extra energy made me do it. Those who have cleansed before are laughing now.

I have a slight sinus drip during the late evening and in the morning, but I have almost no sign of allergies during the day. I sneezed at work today... even thought I didn't have that "allergic" feeling that usually goes with it.

Headaches threatened to pop-up last nite... but went away just as quickly. I have a little itchy acne-like splotch on the left side of my chest.

The overall news is the same: I feel like Superwoman.

Gotta run after work and get my Reverse Osmosis Water at Bonterra Market for $0.37 per gallon. You can't beat the price for good clean water. The only trick... you gotta bring your own container or you must buy one. The 2 gal container with nice spout for dispensing is $13 (first fill of water included).

As always, more later.

Cleanse Day 4, Part II: If You Could Only Take 2 Things With You

2005-10-13T12:05:00.002-04:00

October 12, 2005

Today was my first day back to work since starting the cleanse. Our building was treated to a fire alarm. I bounced from my chair and froze in my tracks. I had to stop and get the two most important things from my cubicle (1) my lemonade (2) my car keys. I can't afford to get hungry or get stranded without a Porcelain Throne Retreat.

I've been visiting the rawsome website, launched by a woman who essentially changed her entire health and overall life by adopting a raw foods lifestyle. Now I can't imagine myself eating only raw food, but I can surely agree with her call for everyone to add some raw foods to the diet.

In fact, I have had some serious conversations with myself about food and vitality. I put a pindrop of bbq sauce on my tongue last nite, swashed, and spit. It tasted *funny.* We live on a lifetime of substances that our body finds odd. French Women Don't Get Fat, my latest reading material, takes a light (yet informative and action-based) look at the balance between health, vitality, and the enjoyment of all kinds of food. I'm actually having fun considering healthier life after the cleanse.

I've only heard once before that we cleanse physical AND emotional crap from our bodies. I'm starting to wonder if that's valid, because I had a short period of the blues last night. Weird. Didn't last long, but was very sudden and very obvious.

I have always been a vivid dreamer (full of colors, sound, other sensory activity, etc.). It's like being awake. Well over the past 3 days or so, my dreams have been much more vivid, and involve more people that I know. Last night, it was the neighbor. It would be interesting to find out that what I learned in the dream was true. Hmmmm.

More tomorrow.

Cleanse Day 4, Part I: Wrangle Me A Lemonade

2005-10-12T16:00:00.001-04:00

October 12, 2005

I'm all in like Flynn now. I'm not interested in somebody wrangling me a steak... just pass the lemonade.

I'm still feeling great today. The Salt Water Flush was almost a total success this AM... well... until I almost didn't make it into the building at work later. Note to self: Decrease salt for those who "flush" too long.

Hey ladies... My feet are slim! You know, that sleeker look, showing off the arch, and the oh-so-sexy *gasp* extra little space between the toes. No more chubb on da feet.

I'm walking places faster than ever, without that little "whew, glad that's over" at the end. I would NEVER imagine having more energy to exercise while not eating. The Standard American Diet, and the accompanying mindset, would never allow for such crazy-talk. I got mad at the slow elevator and took 2-flights of stairs today. In heels.

I keep asking people if I'm talking too loudly. I can hear everything. Even my own voice is too loud for me. I can smell everything, too. I have an air pattern in my home, that allows me to smell aroma oil upstairs when burned at a certain place downstairs. BUT, this AM... I stood at that spot at the top of the stairs and could smell my son's cold cereal downstairs. What da? I went back 3 times to make sure that's what I was smelling. He musta been in the airstream. But dang. Like I told W.P. and S.S., I'm the bionic woman.

Notes to those who want to try the cleanse:

1. If you think you're in love with food, you'll find out you're not. Heck, food and I were married. That thingy with my ex-husband was bigamy. If I can find this level of vitality on a cleanse, you can too.

2. The limes were a success. Delicious. I didn't really need the change, but it was nice nonetheless.

Cleanse Day 3, Part II: Over Tall Buildings in a Single Bound

2005-10-12T12:35:00.001-04:00

Oh my Lord. I don't know what to say about feeling better OFF of solid food than I ever felt while EATING food.

I danced as I prepared a nice-sized dinner for my sons... and even invited mom over to have my plate. I treated them all to a bbq chicken dinner, with cornbread and asparagus. I even served on glass plates. As a single mom, my standard for at least a year+ has been paper and plastic.

By the time my mother got to the the house, she had a tentative look. I guess she figured I'd be drawn in the face and clawing at the walls for a chicken leg. I literally felt like I could run around my neighborhood.

I washed down my entire body with Dr. Bronners Castile Soap (Tea Tree variety). I noticed a "bruised" looking area on my left had that stung when submerged in water. That's my first skin blemish. I'm actually encouraged. That means I'm starting to eliminated through my skin. Yipee

The nite ended with Senna tea at 8:30pm... hoping to not have some "action" at 4am. Tomorrow is my first day back to work. I'd like to still be asleep at 4am.

As it turns out, I was up at 2:30am, 3am and 3:20am. Not bad.

I'm still feeling like the million-dollar-woman. Yes, a little bionic.

The hardest part of the day...:
...Not licking my finger when it was all stuck with bbq sauce and cornbread crumbs after serving the kids. Believe it or not, the thought only lingered for the few seconds before rinsing my hands. Piece of cake!

Another spell of tears...
...You know? Since the time I made the decision to accept Christ and live for the Lord, this cleanse is the biggest leap of faith I've made. As I watched Joyce Meyer talk this AM about "putting God first," I found myself "full" and thankful for the cleanse. There's nothing better in life than meeting a challenge that seemed impossible... especially when you chose the journey between you and the Lord.

I'm going to go ahead and admit this "out loud"... I'd really like to be one of the folks who stays on the cleanse for 40 days. I'm loving the freedom from food. Most folks know the Biblical story of how Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days...

As many report, my vision is better. Strange to me, since I always test at 20/20. I don't get tired walking places, and I'm not as annoyed by the little glitches in daily life.

More tomorrow as the dancing continues. Rock on, sistah.

Cleanse Day 3, Part I: Control (Like Janet)

2005-10-11T16:30:00.001-04:00

October 11, 2005

Who doesn't remember the song "Control" by Janet Jackson? Okay... who over 30 doesn't remember?

That's exactly how I felt today. It's 1:13pm, and I'm shocked at what a difference a day makes. I'm not having food fantasies. I'm already turned off to the thought of returning to some foods (like the Pork Roll and Cheddar Cheese sandwich I have almost every time we bowl).

In fact, I look forward to preparing dinner for the kids tonite (BBQ chicken, with Bone Suckin' Sauce from Whole Foods, organic Asparagus prepared in butter and garlic, and corn bread). You'd think I would dread the thought.

I'm not a lick hungry. Well... until I got a "grumble" for leaving my lemonade at home while running errands. But no crisis. I didn't want to run to Mickey D's to fix the lemonade absence. In fact, all I wanted to do was get home. I feel great!

I purchased 6 limes today. I may go with a lime drink, or a lemon/lime mix. Why not? Variety is the spice of life. Ugh. That's so cliche.

I also purchased 3 books. In addition to spending more time in prayer, reading my Bible, and severely limiting my TV watching, I want to get some other reading in. Here's the titles I purchased:

1. French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure (Mireille Guiliano)

2. The China Study: Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss and Long-Term Health (T. Colin Campbell, PhD with Thomas M. Campbell II)

3. Death by Prescription: The Shocking Truth Behind an Overmedicated Nation (Ray D. Strand, M.D.)

As you can see, I'm sticking to a common theme. LOL I hope to have book reviews for these and other titles I've read in recent past (such as Kevin Trudeau's latest book and others).

I refuse to weigh myself during the cleanse, but I can say: Halfway thru Day 3, I had no objections or other challenges of resistance as I went to put on my jeans.

Tips for those on the cleanse:

1. To help keep my skin under control, I'm using a product that I purchased at Whole Foods Market: Gentle Skin Peel: Papaya Enzyme & Fruit Acid Skin Peel (by Earth Science). I don't know if this will actually help, but my skin looks a lot better today than it was last night.

2. Prepare yourself for the cost. I purchased 19 organic lemons (approx. 3.5-day supply) today, and they cost just over $20. The Grade B organic Maple Syrup was approx. $10 for a 4-day supply. That's not huge, when you consider all the lunches and other meals your saving... but I think I anticipated "lemons" as a much smaller expense. LOL

3. Don't skip a "meal." I was feeling tired, but not hungry, almost all morning. Although I wasn't hungry, I finally drank some lemonade around 10:15am. Within 1 minute (no exaggeration), I was ready to tackle the day. I was waiting until I felt hungry to drink the lemonade, but I didn't realize I was tired because I skipped the lemonade for "breakfast."

More later as I end Day 3 tonight and publish Part II.

Cleanse Day 2, Part II: Bodyaches and Belches

2005-10-11T10:45:00.001-04:00

October 10, 2005

I ache like I’ve been exercising. I didn’t know that the Porcelain Squat was a contact sport.

Talk about contact sports, my son wanted Mickey D’s today. I’m not big on feeding that to the kids, but the idea sure beat fixing a fabulous home-cooked meal that I couldn’t eat. In rare form, he wanted to eat in the car tonight. Sitting in that confined space, the smell of cheeseburgers with extra onions and those oh-so-fried-right-salty-fries was something like a gourmet meal from the food channel. He had the nerve to smack as he ate. It seemed like I could hear every bite. I wanted to “contact” him at that point. I rolled my eyes, asked for an end to the smacking, and sipped my lemonade.

Oh Lord, I’m fantasizing again. I can’t wait to go to Whole Foods, get some good beef, organic toppings, and whole grain organic buns. I’ll show him cheeseburger with extra onions. Hmm… I wonder what day after breaking the cleanse I can have a burger?

I drive home as he smacks on the fries. I almost ask for one just so I can lick it and throw it out the window. Lick it? What kinda junkie is that??? LOL

Mom calls because she wants me and the boys over for a big fish feast on Friday. Oh no. She remembers the cleanse. When was the last time you had to turn down a dinner invite? “I’m sorry, I must decline. I still won’t be eating solid food by next weekend.” Just saying the words made my body want to rebel. “Down, girl!” (Where’s my whip).

I end the night with the last of the 60 ozs of lemonade. I’m pleased that it’s actually difficult to drink all 10 glasses each day.

Tomorrow is D Day. Day 3. The Big Kahuna. As I finish writing this, the volcano rumbles in the belly of Kahuna Island.

More tomorrow.

Notes for those doing the cleanse:

1. A furbie started growing in my mouth today. My tongue has a white film that looks like a small stuffed animal. The same film is creeping onto my teeth, although brushing gets rid of it. You couldn’t sandblast the stuff off the tongue, though.

2. Many say the Senna tea works overnight. I take mine around 10pm. The first time, I was up at 4:30am or so. Last night, I was up twice between 2am and 3:30am. In spite of getting up in the middle of the night, I am sleeping better than usual in between.

Cleanse Day 2: Part I, Dormant Volcano

2005-10-10T19:31:00.001-04:00

October 10, 2005

Aw shucks. I feel great today. I was using 1/2 the Maple Syrup from the recipe yesterday, and didn't realize it. The correct amount makes the lemonade too sweet, so I cut it by 1 tbsp per 2 cups. Aaaah.

True to the promise, I'm not hungry after my second day with no food. It's only 4:00pm on the second day, but the average person would be hungry by now.

I also realize that Day 2 is the calm before the storm. According to most accounts, the most challenging days are Day 3 and Day 4... where the body really starts throwing off toxins and waste buildup.

My face is greasy and getting that "I'm gonna erupt on you any minute now" look. If you've ever had acne or PMS skin problems, you know what I'm talking about.

Although my stomach doesn't feel hungry, it's getting that "I'm gonna erupt in a homage to the Porcelain God" feeling.

The worst part of the day was "trying" to do the Salt Water Flush. It took me 2 minutes to down 1/2 the mixture, and was only able to add a few sips 3 minutes later. I suspect I didn't get the benefit I needed, but I literally *couldn't* get it down. What I was able to get down was already playing peek-a-boo with my throat... threatening to re-enter the world.

I suspect that between now and bedtime, I'll have more to report. I promise a Part II tomorrow.

Tidbits for those thinking about going thru the cleanse:

1. I purchased 18 lemons. Based on my squeezing method, I require 1 whole lemon for 1 glass of lemonade. I was feelin' pretty good in the store, but doing the math meant I only had 3 day's worth. Get LOTS of lemons. LOL

2. Guidelines say you can alter the amount of Maple Syrup - more if you wanna gain weight, less if you wanna lose more weight. I'm not really concerned about the weight, but the full amount is just too sweet for me.

3. The Salt Water Flush is as hard as many say it is. It turned this trooper into a whimp.

4. Buy moist personal wipes (not the ones for your hands... the ones for more "personal" cleansing). I bet these will come in handy during the day, when you want to feel fresh. It's not the frequency... it's the consistency. (Hey, just being honest to help somebody LOL)

Cleanse Day 1: I've Got Issues

2005-10-10T17:31:00.001-04:00

October 9, 2005

Day 1 was quite a day. I hit some "spots" that others report later in the cleanse. I'll share:

I had several headaches. BUT, as promised, each went away with a trip to the porcelain throne. You should have seen me, on a Sunday morning, running from my usher post at church every few moments.

I developed a pain in my left hip, my left side, a wrist, and my neck. I hear this is evidence, that the cleanse is working out some stuff.

I skipped the Salt Water Flush in the AM since I had a 9am meeting and didn't know how my body would react. I went with the Senna herbal tea.

I went bowling during the evening, and there was my hussie friend at the concession stand. Unfortunately, I had to take my 13-year old son to meet her. It was quite an experience, for the first time, pretending she wasn't there. It was harder than I hoped, but easier than I expected. Good Lord, had food been a part of EVERY good, bad, and ugly event in my life?? Dang, I've got issues.

The worst part was the evening. Usually, it would be snack night. Holiday. No work. Stay up late with the kids. Ouch.

So I went to my room late in the evening, and found myself crying. Oh Lord. I'm not hungry (as the cleansing guidelines promised), so what's the problem???

In those few moments alone, every way that I'd mistreated myself with crappy food flashed by. It was like some sorta moment-of-clarity, where God answered my prayers to reveal anything that's holding me back. He's true to His word, and had a conversation with me right there.

When I finally dried-out and stopped looking like a drama queen, I drank my Senna tea and went to bed.

Cleanse Day 0: Shop Til You Drop

2005-10-10T17:10:00.001-04:00

October 8, 2005

If you're planning to cleanse, you need to know how "strange" it feels the day before.

Now I've fasted, with just water, for 36 hours. That's an easy thing, because you can almost taste your next meal. I've even "consecrated" for weeks, where you limit certain foods (like junk and red meat), but continue to live a fairly normal life.

But committing to 10-20 days of no solid food does something to the brain as the day approaches.

My first instinct was a large or "junky" farewell meal. Yet somehow, as the evening approached, my taste buds went on strike. Were they angry at me, or just helping me keep from gorging and making the beginning of the cleanse a nightmare? I don't know, but I thank them anyway.

I rarely see people talk about the shopping spree, required to get all of the ingredients. It's not like a regular trip to the health food store - I guess because your brain is still trying to make logic of days with no familiar food.

The strangest part was selecting the right sized bottles to make the lemonade in. A serving is 10 oz, so I found 20 and 30 oz bottles of some strange drink. The wide mouth was the key... don't wanna need a funnel to pour in the lemonade! I promptly disposed of the nasty drink in the bottles. When was the last time you shopped for a drink to harvest the bottle? Kinda like Buying a $20 CD for your one favorite song.

I almost forgot the Senna laxative tea. That would not have been pretty.

As for my "last meal"... it turned out to be a small bag of organic pretzels and a bowl of cereal.

End the prep. The show is ON.

An Enemy Masquerading as a Friend

2005-10-10T17:05:00.000-04:00

Did you ever discover that someone you liked secretly despised you?

You see... I developed a close relationship to a former friend very much like that. This friend, dating back to childhood, was steadfast and committed to our relationship. Not a single event in my life -- good or bad -- went by without the love, support, and comfort of my friend. We became especially close when my parents separated when I was 17. The deal was sealed when this friend moved in after my own divorce at the age of 32. We were tighter than ever.

Now, at 34, I'm rethinking the relationship. Darnit if that friend isn’t the food that has me wrapped in a warm hug called excess body fat. Worse than the fat, I’m a walking toxic zone.
How I escaped being a 300 lb. freak show amazes me. Heck… how I escaped a diseased life triggered by those toxins is another miracle. It’s true that “God sits high and looks low.” If it wasn’t for good genes, I’d be one of those big mamas in a Richard Simmons exercise video.

I'm committing to 10 days on The Master Cleanse. I want to go 20 days because this cleanse is really a fond farewell to that hussie old friend of mine.
For those of you who aren't familiar, The Master Cleanse is a 10-, 20-, 30- or even 40-day commitment to drink a "lemonade" mix (with no solid food) to totally de-toxify the body. A Google® search on The Master Cleanse reveals a sea of personal testimonies of people whose lives were changed after detoxification.

I’ll chronicle my food-free days on this blog, and talk about the humorous side of surviving the journey.