Email from My Angry Colon

I haven't fasted or cleansed in so long that my colon sent me an angry email. All CAPS. Starting with, "YOU HEFFA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

Right now, my life represents one of the most wonderful and frightening transitions. After 14 years in my profession (the last 12 with the same company), I got flushed down the toilet of "downsizing."

I almost didn't blink at the turn of events. My sixth sense had already detected the scent of trouble. In case you didn't know, corporate financial trouble kinda smells like burnt bologna and fried nerves. But I digress...

I immediately saw this as an opportunity to (1) take a much needed forced vacation and (2) to pursue deferred dreams that I previously filed under "Yeah. Right." More importantly, I'm blessed with the opportunity to cleanse in other ways by focusing on stress, proper diet, and luxuriating in the cure for my former Monday blah's.

My next fast/cleanse likely won't be a Master Cleanse. After a long absence and a tongue-lashing from an angry colon, my bravery meter looks a lot like it did before my first cleanse experience. But I do intend to complete one of two drastic departures from bacon cheeseburgers: (1) A 3-day water fast or (2) A 7-day fruit and veggie fast.

I'll chronicle that experience here, along with my efforts to grow a pair for my next Master Cleanse. Until then, I have an angry email to answer...

Shame Shame Shame

From what I gather on the internet, this picture represents a day of shameful stair-scapades for Miss. Thailand. Po' chile. You know she felt like seeping into the floor once the folks on the right finally peeled her off the floor.

Notice how the folks on the left are still in shock and haven't stopped clapping their hands yet? But I digress.

As the current poster child for unhealthy living, that's ME falling down those darned stairs. (Only I wouldn't do it in a short skirt and slingback shoes, but I digress again.)

Just like doctors who smoke and firemen who start fires, I have more-than-average knowledge about health/nutrition and I'm not acting on that knowledge in a positive way.

Ain't that a cryin' shame?

I know one thing. I hope you keep reading this blog. Because if I can get my ish together and get healthy A-N-Y-B-O-D-Y can. Seriously. And all my dirty little laundry along the way will be hanging on a line right here for you to gawk at.

Ahhh.... The day I should be basking in the sunlight of my own cleanse...

But I'm sitting under a thunder cloud of poor preparation. In the craze of getting the kids ready to return to school, I never made it to the store for my ingredients. So while I was sitting on a mountain like the wise King Solomon... waving my hand to the newbies below and telling them that the best advice is to PREPARE... I was running around like a blind mouse failing at my own preparations.

This weekend, here I come.

Now lemme go read my own advice again since I fell off the side of my wisdom mountain like Humpty Dumpty.

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth: Know Your Food Allergies and Sensitivities

Don't ask me when. Don't ask me why. But in a blog post a loooooong time ago, I challenged my readers to use post-cleanse life to get a grip on food sensitivities and food allergies. Since then, a male coworker happily told me that he tried the experiment and discovered a food allergy.

Here's how it works:

Food sensitivities and full-blown food allergies are tied to medical conditions ranging from irritating rashes to asthma.

And there's a way to start identifying such nuisances on your own - by stripping down to a basic diet and adding one type of food at a time.

And what better time than after a Master Cleanse?

It is very difficult to identify offending foods during the normal daily routine. Imagine the foods you ate in the past week. If just a single food was causing an unpleasant health problem, how in the world would you be able to isolate it?

That's where the Master Cleanse, aka The Gift Horse, comes in...

As you (may already) know, the day after the Master Cleanse begins with orange juice. Then comes vegetable soup. After that, folks' eating habits range from vegetarian to bacon-cheeseburger-tarian. The gloves are off and anything goes. Why not use the valuable time after a cleanse to slowly re-introduce old foods and see if a particular food choice triggers a sensitivity or full-blown allergy?

Folks with ailments such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), asthma, skin conditions and even Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) may find relief from symptoms by eliminating troublesome foods.

And don't you deserve it?

So don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The digestive tract is sparkling clean after a 10-day cleanse. Use that precious time to explore food options and possibly arrest some culprits.

Advice To Tashia the Newbie from Hawaii

I dedicate this post to Tashia and all the other Master Cleanse newbies who haven't taken the plunge.


What advice can I give to first timers? Here goes my attempt to sound smart and helpful in just two words...

Plan well.

• I can't tell you how many times newbies underestimate the initial lemon purchase. Buy lots. Buy too many. Pretend they're going out of style. Then buy even more than that.

• Don't start without all of the ingredients and pretend you'll make it to the store on the day you begin. That is a serious cleanse-killer, because the trip to the store may be interrupted by a bacon cheeseburger. Or the detour could become the excuse to just "try again another time."

• If you live alone, get rid of your favorite foods. If that means eating them before you start... you can do that too. hehe

• If you cook for a family, like I do, I find planning a menu very helpful. That way, I only buy the food I need for them and don't spend so much time browsing the options.

• Pre-plan what you'll tell those around you, from family to co-workers. Whether on purpose or not, those folks can be major cleanse-killers by offering food or talking about what a "dangerous thing you're doing." Get in the zone and be ready for them.

• You may want to 'cleanse before the cleanse.' Some folks prepare by cleaning-up their act the week before. In our Yahoo! Group, the general consensus is that coffee drinkers have a hard time with detox headaches. If you drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, sippy-sippy on the alcohol or eat a lot of refined carbohydrates, you many want to wean off these things in the days leading to the cleanse.

• And I can't end without recommending our awesome support group at the Yahoo! Mastercleanse group. Don't underestimate the value of talking to other folks going through the same drama as you!

Bonus advice. Measure your lemon juice every single time you mix. Some have 'rule-of-thumb' estimates about the amount of juice a single lemon holds. I measure every single drink, because juice yield can vary. Stanley Burroughs is very clear that the juice measurement is not negotiable for each glass. This isn't Walmart. Cut corners and you'll get what you pay for... And I'm not talking about cheap gadgets painted with toxic materials and flesh-eating rubber sandals.

As always, you can search through my blog posts to find a few more gems... like the priceless value of Bordeaux Butt Paste and the benefits of local bathroom maps. hehe

Happy Cleansing!

My Next Cleanse is Looming Like a Storm Cloud

My last cleanse was January 2007. I went 13 days, and I felt like Rocky running up all those dang steps. Only I had lemonade in my water bottle.

As August 2008 nears an end, I sit nervously planning a September 1 cleanse.

What!? You didn't know that old cleanse veterans still get nervous?

Anyway, every cleanse is so different that the 5th can feel like the 1st.

Who knows if the 3rd day will be tough or if symptoms will wait until the 8th day? Who knows if the SWF will work in 1 hour or 3 hours? And who knows if mental strength will carry for the whole 10+ days?

The first-timer and the veteran have these things in common - the unknown.

Thankfully, the experience under my belt tells me something very important: No matter how hard things get, the benefits will ALWAYS outweigh the mental war. So while I may secretly tremble in my boots, I approach my cleanse with a smile.

When are you starting?

What Does "Living a Cleansed Life" Have to do with "Stress-Free Living?"

I named this blog "Cleanse Master Remix" because my goal is to address living a healthy life using the Master Cleanse as a single tool. And like many others, I wanted to know, "How do I continue the benefits of the Master Cleanse after my cleanse is over?"

I believe the answer requires the health-conscious to address the Mighty Three - Mind, Body, and Soul. And today, I'm taking aim at STRESS, which applies to the soul and spirit.

Today, I was watching Clean House, which features hopelessly messy pack rats those who can't seem to establish and maintain a neat, harmonious living environment. One commercial break featured yet another diet drug claiming to treat weight gain associated with stress - more specifically the release of the hormone cortisol associated with stress.

During my college studies, I learned in Health and Psychology that cortisol provides critical support for the flight-or-fight response. In other words, when presented with danger, cortisol helps us to do one of two things in an instant (1) stand and fight the threat or (2) evade the danger by fleeing the scene. But living a stressful life extends the release of this hormone which can build to toxic levels. And the human body wasn't built to manage extended release.

According to Advance Health and Life Extension, excessive cortisol levels increase weight gain and makes us susceptible to infections, both major and minor. In other words, "Honey, if you don't manage that stress, you're gonna be one sick overweight puppy."

From a soul and spirit perspective, all that road rage, anger and unforgiveness can be killing you. And don't get me started about the excessive spending, over our budgets, while chasing the Ninetendo Wii at Christmastime.

C'mon. Go with me here. How do you feel when you're stressing about something? Don't you feel like CRAP? What about the times you forgive and go-on with life? Isn't that liberating?

That relief you feel in your mind translates into relieving your body of a toxic environment. Aren't you worth it?

So before you reach for the potentially dangerous diet drugs - like Corticel and other cortisol blockers that supposedly help you manage weight by fighting stress, how about taking a moment to appreciate life and find a little kindness in your heart? Why not forgive your absent parent and stop flipping-off strangers in traffic? Now that, my friends, is living a cleansed life!

Happy Cleansing.

Cleanse Scam (or Not) Alert: Kinoki Foot Pads

Although I'm a major advocate for improved health through natural means, I'm not naive enough to believe that the natural health industry has fewer scams and dangers than the pharmaceutical industry. At least the natural health scams generally involve products that simply don't work - as opposed to dangerous chemicals that flat-out kill... but that's another blog post.


I developed a healthy curiosity about the Kinoki Foot Pads, a product that supposedly helps draw toxins out of the body through the soles of you feet while you sleep. I didn't discount this product at first view because I understand the cycle of toxin-in, toxin-out.


We can digest toxins via (typically bad) food choices. We inhale them from the environment. We even absorb them through the skin via environmental contaminants, cleaning products, and even daily cosmetics.


Toxins exit through similar doors. We honk them from our nose, sweat them through our glands, and flush them away with old-fashioned visits to the Porcelain Throne.


Even emotions can contribute to a toxic environment where stress and strife produce hormones that the body can't handle in large doses.

And while many laugh at us cleanse buffs because the body is already equipped to handle toxins, I still believe we need a little help because we're eating, inhaling and absorbing them at an unhealthy rate - all while producing even more in fits of road rage and Christmas shopping for the Nintendo Wii.


Back to the point...


Knowing we can eliminate toxins via the pores in our largest organ, the skin, I thought Kinoki might be on to something... Well...


According to a Consumerist writeup of an NPR feature, the Kinoki Foot Pads stink like... well... toxic feet.


Reporter Sarah Varney had a lab analyze used Kinoki pads. The scientist reported that the used pads (with all that brown gunk) didn't vary much in chemistry from a fresh new pad. And it stands to reason it's because the pad didn't actually remove any toxins. Even worse, the brown gunk that is supposed to be "toxic waste" also appears when the pad is held above a pot of boiling water.


Some members of the WikiAnswers community weighed-in on the issue. For the most part, the users screamed scam. A few said they felt a little better, some praised the possible placebo effect, and one urged that 'trying the pads was better than turning to pharmeceutical drugs. Read these excerpts for yourself (below) and follow this link for the entire list:

Happy users (with surprisingly dull responses that could use an energy drink):

• Well I used it once and I felt much better.
  

• I was not looking for a cure for anything, so I Im not claiming miracle. I did feel a little better. I have no explanation.

The blessed placebo conspiracy theorists (who clearly had their energy drinks and watch too much X-Files):

• I have never used them, nor do I think they work. I think many of the testimonials and other positive feedback about them works with the placebo effect. You believe a desired reaction will occur from a treatment, so your body reacts the way you expect it to when you use above said treatment.
  

• Who cares if it acts a placebo as long as you "think" it is going to work than that is the end result everyone wants. Does anyone really care how we get healed as long as we are healed? While the placebo effect may result in people feeling better, it has no bearing on the claim that the footpads remove any toxins, therefore any change in toxins cannot be explained by the placebo effect.

The "Why Not" gang (with a serious hit out on the pharmaceutical industry):

• Why not try? I do not believe there is any published data--proving or disproving--on the Kinoki foot pad approach, but I see no harm in one trying it. Certainly, it would be safer and cheaper than many of the commonly prescribed drugs that cause hundreds of thousands of terrible side effects and early deaths in the United States each year. [excerpt from much longer comment]

My personal opinion having not used the product: There are too many known natural remedies for cleansing the body and promoting health. Of course, I'm a huge fan of the Master Cleanser. There's fruit and veggie cleanses, exercise, excellent herbal remedies, and plain-old better living. There's a 95% chance that I'll pass on this product.

Don't Call It a Comeback ! (I'm Gonna Knock You Out)

Remember the LL Cool J song "Mama Said Knock You Out?" I'm knockin' some stuff out, and it's great to be back here.

Just when you thought I fell off the edge of the earth... here I am. I returned to the blog today after returning to the Yahoo group as a moderator earlier this summer.

::Deep Inhale:: The air sure is clear in the happy zone.

What a journey I've been on since November 2007. High highs. Low lows. And the net result is that I'm a happy camper.

Should I recap for the newcomers?

• Married November 1999.
  
  
• Husband ran out November 2003.
  
  
• Divorce final July 2004.
  
  
• Husband remarried September 2004 (I knew he was seeing that woman!).
  
  
• Developed some bad... okay, worse... nutritional habits by October 2004 (can you say "comfort food?").
  
  
• Considered reading "The Perfect Murder Manual" til November 2004 (hehe).
  
  
• Discovered the Master Cleanse in October 2005.
  
  
• Overcame the emotional trauma by 2005 through forgiveness, prayer, and growing a set of brass knockers.
  
  
• Cleansed until November 2006.
  
  
• Met a wonderful man in November 2006.
  
  
• Developed more bad habits, mostly associated with enjoying life again.
  
  
• Got engaged April 2007.
  
  
• Been smiling ever since.
  
  
• Started workout training August 6, 2008 (feelin' GREAT, too).
  
  
• Saw a friggin' calf muscle in my leg and detected a knee-cap on August 15, 2008 (wow, I have those?).
  
  
• Resurrected the blog on August 20, 2008.

So. There you have it. My road to cleansing and return to this blog in a nutshell.

I expect to start my next cleanse after a family barbeque scheduled for August 30. Until then, I'll keep bringing health news, personal views, and stage cues... anything to help you and me live a cleansed life.

Happy Cleansing!

PS: Notice the updated pic in the sidebar and profile? That was before a date with my sweetheart - the one who makes me laugh, scream, cry, smile - but mostly love with a happy heart.

Oh So Right. Ooooh So Wrong. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Here I am with one of those bittersweet reports of triumph pie with a side of defeat.

The first two weeks of my fitness journey started out feeling like a failure. Instead of 4 days of strength training, I was only getting two days at 15-20 minutes each. As I poked out my lip and mounted the scale at the end of week 2, I was shocked to see that I was down 7 pounds. And for those of you who need the New International Translation of my crazy ramblings:

The Good News: I was actually down 7 pounds, which equaled 3.5 pounds per week, with no changes to my diet and minimal sweating.

The Bad News: I was actually down 7 pounds, which equaled 3.5 pounds per week, with no changes to my diet and minimal sweating.

Why is the same point good and bad? I found this surprisingly frustrating, because I was totally outed. If it only takes minimal work to establish a healthier weight - why haven't I reached a healthier weight?

Several things come to mind, like:

• Bad habits.
• The lazy after-a-long-day-work blues.
• Or worse, something deep down inside that doesn't really wanna get'er done.

If 15 minutes, two days per week can produce a good result, what could I achieve with 15 minutes of strength training per day?

I can't think of a single good excuse why I don't dedicate 15 minutes of exercise to my daily routine - especially since I waste a good 2 hours watching my favorite TV shows. The excuses get real flimsy when I can even work 15 minutes while I'm watching a favorite TV show.

I'm out of excuses - but not out of drive. Strangely enough, I'm discovering some truth behind all of this useless struggle over my weight while reading:

Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth (Brad Blanton, PhD)

You can read about my fascination with Blanton's Radical Honesty movement:

Here:
Never Tell a Lie: A Social Experiment

and

Here:
Pass the Stuffing... Because Your Thighs Indicate You Should Be Done With It

Until next time, I wish you the best of all health for your mind, body, and spirit.

And as always: Happy Cleansing!

Here and Now

Three days ago, I started my fitness journey. Although the plan doesn't include a cleanse until November (hopefully with buddy, Mary Lee), I started with my trainer (aka sweetheart) on Sunday.

Mr. Military himself doesn't subscribe to the bounce-your-boobie school of sweating off the pounds. Yeah, walks are fine, but his routine is all about strength training.

After the first two days, I'm feeling a little like an old lady. Who got hit by a car. Off a cliff. In the rain.

Workout days are Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. I can add a Friday or Saturday if I like. But right now I don't feel like adding anything except an ice pack and a burger.

We sat together and wrote a 4-week goal before I started on Sunday. I took the following measurements as points to track my progress on a weekly basis.

1. Weight
2. Calves
3. Thighs
4. Hips
5. Waist
6. Chest
7. Arms

This coming Sunday will be my first weigh-in and checkup on body measurements. I'll post the results here by Monday night... or sooner if I'm having great results (of course). *smile*

Happy Cleansing, and even Happier Living !

Can't Start Now - The Typical Cleanse Killer

Some folks cleanse like crack addicts... scratching and twitching for the next cleanse "hit." Many times at the Yahoo group, the moderator team had to express concerns to men and women who fantasized about the cleanse "high" -- and wanted to know if "a week in between cleanses is enough."

Because of that, I made sure to keep my cleansing in check... leaving at least three months in between and not trying to cleanse until I shrank and simply disappeared.

But right now, I'm feeling a little like the cleanse-addict. I haven't been on one in quite a while, and I'm starting to feel like I NEED it.

I'm sure that position is justified. I have been an absolute louse towards my body and my general health. Everybody and everything (take a number) has priority status. Boyfriend, children, new puppy, work schedule, and heck, even my favorite TV shows - complete with soft pillow, evening beverage and possibly a crappy snack. This just won't do.

So my feet are back on the cleanse road, and the dang startup challenges are the same. Does any of this sound familiar?:

1. My son turns 15 and his party is this weekend. Can't start now. Hafta have cake.

2. Sweetheart has been wanting a date for a while now. We try for each weekend. Can't start now. Hafta be able to eat out.

3. The good ole' monthly cycle might be starting soon. Can't start now. There's nothing worse than cleansing during that time of the month.

No matter how much of a veteran you are, you always run the risk of sounding like a confused newbie when it's time to cleanse again. :-)

When Stress Holds the Trump Card

As you know, I am a huge supporter of the idea that cleansing the body is essentially a waste if the mind and spirit don't follow. And I notice that challenges in one area often upsets the balance in another.

I have a list of "soul" irritants that have me fantasizing about the lemonade. In other words, I'm craving a body fix for things that are challenging my mind and spirit:

1. Mom hates the boyfriend and would stab him if it was legal. Instead, I get stabbed with her tongue.

2. I haven't found a new church home since my old church ceased to exist around December 2006.

3. The rental unit is performing about as well as a rock in a 100-yard hurdle competition.

4. I got a glowing annual review at work, but the raise indicated that I must spend my days sleeping on my desk while snoring loudly.

In other words, stress dealt some wicked trump cards on me in recent months. By this past Sunday, I was emotionally exhausted and wanted nothing more than a vacation - or at least a box of Calgon.

Will a cleanse of my body (Master Cleanse) help with this emotional exhaustion? By all accounts - including my own... a cleanse just may be in order. Besides the health benefits, a cleanse generates a dramatic change in the daily routine. That "change of pace" is enough to help inspire a new perspective.

Some take sabbaticals and come back with glowy hair and flawless skin. For those of us with a more-than-hectic life, our sabbatical may lie just inside a glass of cleansing lemonade.

More later as I brush the dust from these blogging fingers.

Dusty Blogger Returns

I'm Back!
Changes on the job and a growing "To Do" list kept me away from this blog since May. So... I wanna say a warm "hello" and "thanks for waiting" to my regular readers.

Virgin cleansers often come trembling with fears about "missing food" and "cleanse symptoms like the bathroom trips." But by far, anybody who has ever cleansed understands that the biggest challenge is living a cleansed life after completing a cleanse regimen.

For some people, living a cleansed life simply means keeping a clean colon by eating the right stuff. But for me, the goal encompasses mind, body, and spirit. And if I had to make an assessment of my "Wagon Status..." I would say that I'm off the wagon right now - like a cabbage head rolling of the back of the wagon after hitting a pothole. hehe

Simple vs. Easy
I agree with BluJewel's comment that eating properly is simple. But most who fight the battle with me will agree with this: It's simple, but it's not easy.

The battle is simple, because the rules are not complicated. Shop more. Buy more "living foods" such as produce. Prepare more meals fresh. Stay away from funky additives.

But the battle isn't easy because we've developed relationships with crappy food for reasons from convenience, to laziness, to emotional eating. Enough people lose the battle each day to prove how a simple idea can be strangely difficult to live by.

So I'm here... back at the blog... to renew my passion for writing about the MasterCleanse and for healthy living beyond the lemonade.

Stay in good health, and thanks for returning with me!

Fe.ar Fac.tor

It's time for another cleanse, and I have the nervous jitters of a school girl. And it isn't even about the fasting, the lemonade, or the butt pee. It's about another attempt to pursue a healthy life that may fall into a bucket of Hot Wings.

I am the first one to admit that a cleanse is faaaaaaar from a magic bullet. But most people, including myself, enter a cleanse with high hopes of continuing a healthier lifestyle. Invariably, the water heater will die, the job will get stressful, or (women) have a period swoop in like a hurricane - - and suddenly Hershey's becomes your best friend.

In the balance of health vs. weight loss... my attitude has changed greatly over the past 10 years. In my 20's, I was more concerned about a dress size than living a long healthy life. And in some cases, I considered sacrificing my health to be a size 6.

But now, I want a long life with my parents, my sons, by sweetheart, and anybody else I was placed on this earth to love and serve.

And because of that, I'll keep my high hopes for the long healthy life that can follow this next cleanse. Fear is not a Factor for me. hehe

I'm Almost Ready for the Lemon Spree

I finally said it out loud. It's finally going to happen. I'm ready for my next cleanse.

But my eyes aren't on my butt. I'm not pinching the extra "love" on my waist. My eye is on the spiritual benefits of fasting. Sure, I won't complain if I come out looking like Moses, with a new glow around my face. But I'm most ready for the prayer and solitude that comes with fasting.

It's amazing that anybody could feel spiritual with all that running to the bathroom. But I must admit, after all the good - the bad - and the ugly is calculated, a successful cleanse is like a breath of fresh air.

More later...

Hiding Under a Rock

I haven't posted since April 3rd. I wonder if it's because I've been hiding under a rock, hoping I didn't have to admit that:

1. Pasta and I recently became friends again and
2. Because of that, I'm still only maintaining the 10.5 pounds that I lost 2 months ago.

With diabetes on both sides of my family, I really can't play around with refined carbohydrates and extra weight on my body. I am blessed to remain in good health, but the underlying concern is always, "How long?"

I recently had a conversation about busy lives and convenience - eating out of boxes, bags, and food joints that value quantity over quality. I don't have a life that affords me hours of Martha Stewart time to prepare top notch meals. But then again, Do I?

Everybody finds time for the things they find important. And if I look at the time I have left at the end of the work day... I wonder if I simply find other things more important.

I typically get home around 6pm (sometimes later)... leaving me a good 3.5 hours before the children must go to bed. I use 1/2 hour of that to detox from the day, and another 1/2 hour dealing with "after school" issues. And perhaps my problem is that I don't want to spend a huge portion of the remaining 2.5 hours in a kitchen.

I am blessed to have a beau who loves to cook and does it well. Yesterday, he prepared a seared steak fried rice with salad. I almost locked my son in the closet when he simply asked, "Dang mom. Why didn't you ever cook like this?" What I do cook is good, but I don't know how to cook steak and forget a rice dish.

So perhaps at the end of the day, living a life of good love and good health is about accepting the help that we're blessed to receive. Whether you have a great partner who shares the chores or a great friend who will be your buddy in the travel to good health - keep running the race until something clicks and you find the balance required to achieve the most important priorities.

Knee Deep in a Bucket of Hot Wings

Well dang. Where have I been? I would say "knee deep in a bucket of hot wings," but the truth is a little worse than that. At least hot wings aren't loaded with processed carbs - which have crept back in to my routine like ants to a picnic.

I have returned to "snacking," although I snack less often than I used to. I also returned to having some soda and eating foods with "white" carbs in them. In spite of my overall habits having improved over the last 3 years, I'm in a health funk.

It's time for the cleanse I've been avoiding since the middle of March. I had a few good excuses going... like my birthday, my sweetheart's birthday, and oh yeah..... the full moon. But now I'm out of options, unless I have a rare disease that requires me to eat Easter Eggs every Easter Sunday or I'll implode.

The real disease is a deadly allergy to bathing suits - especially bikinis - because if I don't get on the move, I won't be stepping a single foot into swim recreation this summer.

The last thing I want to do is make cleansing/fasting/weight loss about appearance. On a certain level, appearance should be a concern. Looking your best (not somebody else's best) is a sign that you have a healthy love for yourself.

But on the most important level, I want to live a long healthy spiritual life that doesn't include a team of medical specialists and a medicine cabinet full of prescription drugs. And oh yeah, I also don't want my future to include a trip thru the roof because only a crane can get me out of the house.

That may sound like an extraordinary exaggeration, but the unhealthy people and severely obese folks didn't just wake up with a mountain of health problems. They're the product of a series of actions (and lack of actions) that multiplied into a big mess. That means the war is fought daily. Today I fight once again as I purchase my lemons (after putting down an old favorite and recent weakness - Andy Capp's Hot Fries). ::sigh:: hehe

The Good News and the Bad News...

So here I am at the halfway mark of the Weight Loss Challenge. It appears the other participants have dropped out one-by-one. But I'm still here with a goal to lose 40 pounds in 20 weeks.

At the halfway point, I'm still maintaining an 11-pound weight loss. I'm clearly short of the 20 pounds I should have shed by now. That's the bad news.

The good news is... I maintained the weight. As strange as that sounds, maintaining a loss hasn't been a historical strong point for me. But over the last 6 - 7 weeks, I discovered the magic to holding a constant weight. And learning that is just as valuable to me now as losing a few extra pounds.

I finally broke down and hired a personal trainer. Only he's free. And he's cute. And he knows how to cook vegetables.

My sweetie was going to go into personal training at one point, and he's always been the best candidate for the job. But I have avoided his help out of embarrassment. Although he doesn't have a single complaint about me, I'm not sure I want him to see me collapse after struggling through a workout.

"Honey, if you love me, just give me oxygen.
Oh yeah. And a pepperoni pizza."

At 44, he maintains like a 20-year old. And at 36, I'd probably need hospitalization after a set of push-ups. Like 2 push-ups.

But the sincerity of his heart wins the day and I finally requested his services. His loving reply to my request:

"I want my family - me, you, and the boys -
to be fit and live long lives. I love y'all."

Dang.

Life Expectancy and Health

I ran into a friend whose mother recently died at the ripe old age of 62. Young. Too young.

After holding his hand and offering my love and support, we got into a conversation about life expectancy and health.

His mother had been sick for quite a while, and he was finding comfort that she finally escaped the suffering. As he pondered the idea, he was drawn into a thought about life expectancy. Without any statistics, he concluded this from his gut:

"If you can live to the age of 55 and still be healthy, you can expect to live out your life expectancy feeling great. If you're sick and on pills by 35 and 45 years old, what do you have to look forward to?"

Something about his statement rang true with me. The television is loaded with drug ads directed at patients. People in their 20s, 30s, and 40s are choosing drugs over healthier alternatives, and the rate seems alarming. So now I am terribly curious: "Is there truth to the need to stay healthy at younger and younger ages? Should we be more concerned about eating junk food and ruining our bodies before we're threatened by our approaching 40s?"

I visited the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and followed the stats to the NCHS (National Center for Health Statistics). As it turns out, my friend wasn't far off regarding the importance of having good health earlier in life. The NCHS reports the following life expectancy stats (figures updated in 2004):

Life Expectancy at Birth (for all races):
Women: 80.4 years
Men: 75.2 years

BUT, if you manage to live to the age of 65, expectancy changes as follows:

Life Expectancy at Age 65 (for all races):
Women: 85.0
Men: 82.1

The trend continues upwards if you live another decade:

Life Expectancy at Age 75 (for all races):
Women: 85.7
Men: 87.8

In other words, the longer you live, the longer you are expected to live. Sounds crazy, but making it to the next decade is the mark of a healthy person who can expect extended years.

And to add my own spice, the sooner you can get and stay healthy, the better life you will have. Who wants to carry a health fight into old age? And why run the risk that your increased age will make the fight much harder?

This reminds me of what a treasured mentor told me years ago.

"If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken care of myself."

The sentiment behind his comment was regret. I pray that you, my readers, will never have to live those words.

Here's to living a cleansed and healthy life, so you can enjoy more vibrant years!

[You can download a PDF of the CDC statistics here.]
The link goes directly to the PDF and not another landing page...