Master Cleanse 2007 Day 4: For Once, Food Isn't the Problem

Abstaining from food hasn't been a second thought this cleanse. Seriously. No food fantasies. No wishing I was sitting in front of a 3 course meal. Nothing.

My "wanna quit syndrome" is from a whole other source: Irritating Eliminations.

In spite of practically owning stock in Preparation H and Butt Paste, I'm irritated by whatever toxins are in my eliminations. It happened so early in the cleanse this time, I started wondering how I was gonna make 10 days. I seem to be on an okay schedule (except I keep forgetting to bring my "necessities" to work).

Early this morning (the morning of Day 4), the scale indicated that I'm down 6 pounds. If I keep this rate, and stick to my post-cleanse plans, this will be a wonderful head-start on my 20-week goal (40 pounds) for Weight Loss Challenge 2007.

I learned something else about the cramping associated with the Senna tea. I already knew that cramping could be reduced/eliminated by taking the tea bag from the water sooner. BUT, last night, I also learned not to gulp the tea. In a rush to go to bed, I finished the tea in a few sips. By 1:30am... I was sitting in the bathroom with terrible cramps and having visions of sipping the tea next time.

I may actually do a SWF (salt water flush) this Saturday and Sunday. 90% of the time, I accept Burroughs modification to skip the SWF and have Senna tea instead.

Things on my job are really in turmoil (regarding the government organization that I support). One of our top performers (in terms of security knowledge) announced her departure yesterday. She'll be moving to another organization outside of our building. This announcement was difficult for me in a couple of ways. (1) She's also a personal friend, and having her here has been such a pleasure. (2) Her departure creates a crack in the foundation, making future contract support a little sketchy for the rest of us.

I have needed to update my resume and explore a career change for a loooooooong time now. This upheaval is quite timely, but I'm feeling tentative nonetheless. I needed the kick in the pants, but I feel the low simmer of panic in my belly. I'm happy to be cleansing for spiritual and physical reasons as I face whatever is next.

More later.

Day 3: Premature Food Dreams

Thursday, August 3, 2006

I had the rare pleasure of reading a cleanse blog that was maintained by a man. The blog was well written, and judging from the comments, he had a group of friends watching him closely and waiting for him to quit.

According to the male author of the blog, while researching the cleanse, he came across the "interesting and corny" idea of food dreams. On day 6 of his cleanse, he finally had a food dream and discovered the truth behind how real - and stressful - they can be.

Well here I am on Day 3 of the cleanse, and I started the day with a food dream. It was amazing. The colors were vivid, the situation was realistic (a cookout/picnic), and I could also taste and feel the food. This particular food dream was quite advanced, because I actually became upset about breaking the cleanse in the dream. Usually, a food dream results in fear after waking that the cleanse was broken. I didn't even wake before that fear hit.

I actually prepared a salt water flush (SWF) this morning - making 16 ounces instead of 32 ounces. I have never gotten down and entire SWF, so I decided not to waste good Celtic salt. I almost finished the entire 16 ounces, and that darned flush worked for at least 2 hours. Needless to say, I had the day off from work.

The day was quite enjoyable, and cleanse symptoms were almost none. I had a slight hint of a headache, and the twitching under the right eye continued. Other than that, I'm having an eerily smooth time on this cleanse.

I only had 5 glasses of lemonade today and lots of water. I forced the last glass down, because I don't want to miss the suggested 6-glass minimum by much.

My sleep has been fabulous, and I'll write more about that tomorrow.

Rock on.

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Day 2: I Wonder What Would Happen If I Quit Now?

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

I can't believe I already asked myself that question. Along with one of my fellow moderators at the Yahoo group, my heart is barely in this cleanse. My mind is squarely there, because I know how much I need to cleanse right now. But my heart keeps betraying what I know.

I actually had blood in my elimination earlier this morning, but it hasn't appeared again since that time. And now, I'm feeling general "ick" and I want to go to bed. I feel like I just ate a plate of raw pizza dough - and it's just sitting in the bottom of my stomach. (Did somebody say Pizza??)

But in some strange dusty back corner of my mind, I'm pleased that I'm having a hard time. That means I'm right where I need to be - cleansing myself. Think about it... cleansing brings things from the inside-out. So if I'm already feeling ick on Day 2, then I had some ick that needed to go.

Attitude Adjustment.

Those are my words for the day. As I read back over this post, it's like reading some dark tragedy. You would think a black cloud was floating over my head, and the cloud suddenly burst into rain. Hmmm. Dark. Snarky. Aaaaaaaaand melodramatic. I'll have to add these things to the list of cleanse symptoms. Here's hoping I have a sunny, witty post for you tomorrow.

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Cleanse 2, Day 9: Flushing Cowburgers

Monday January 9, 2005

Wow. Thank God for small favors. I was off from work today with my son, who was fighting some sorta bug.

I've been eliminating today like I ate an entire cow the night before the cleanse. Make that a bacon-cheddar cow, with bun and all. Unlike the first cleanse, where I had many days of regular, but light elimination - I've been sloughing off stuff from Day 1 this time.

I had a few crappy moments today. I suspect that whatever emotion I've been medicating with food... it's coming to meet me head-to-head. I've been snarky with the kids, and I hit a period of emotional hunger. I can't help but wonder if it's because tomorrow is "supposed" to be the last day of a cleanse... and Day 11 becomes unfamiliar territory for me.

Funny how I can feel so crappy and look so great. The skin is still glowing! lol

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 40 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Nothing (fell asleep!)
Weight Loss: About the same
Healing Crisis: Dark spots on the whites of my eyes today, that lightened/went away by evening.

Flashback:
Wanna see where I was on Day 9 of my first cleanse?
Day 9, Part I: The MasterCard(R) Commercial
Day 9, Part II: The Beat Goes On

Cleanse 2, Day 6: Pass the Preparation H

Friday January 6, 2006
If you stopped by yesterday, you'll remember how I was fantasizing about chitlins. If you have any idea what a chitlin is, you might say it was a coincidence that I suddenly have a hemorrhoid!

I know hemorrhoids are the hush-hush little problem that we keep to ourselves, but nothing is sacred when you're cleansing. We're getting a good laugh at the mastercleanse Yahoo group since discovering that we're okay talking about bowels movements, but shy about hemorrhoids.

I've actually only had 1 or 2 mild cases in my life, so I was surprised like the Publishers Clearing House winner when I woke up this morning.

Just in case that wasn't interesting enough, here's a few more blurbs from Day 6:

* I had a more-than-mild cramp this AM. I had to turn over on my back and felt the darned thing "move" when I touched it.
* Just like my first fast, I love how I'm walking fast everywhere. And it's totally unintentional. I used to think I walked slower because I have short legs. I was the one in the group telling everybody to "slow down." I'm convinced, without a doubt, it was a function of energy and overall health.

I suspect I'm going home to another "debate" with my 6-year old over why he can't share mommy's "juice." In spite of the fact that the household menu shows take-out from our favorite pizza place, he's gonna try to hijack my lemonade.

Quick Stats:
Glasses of Lemonade: 6
Additional Water: 33.8 ounces (don't ask me how I know the details)
AM: Senna, PM: Senna
Weight Loss: Body parts that used to rub together when I walked are breating a sigh of relief.
Healing Crisis: Do hemorrhoids count???
Wildcard Stat: I talked about my hiney today more than ever in history.

Quick Tip for Cleansers:
When I started my first cleanse, I was using glass iced tea bottles with metal lids. One day, I noticed a black liquid on my hands. The lemons were corroding the metal cap, and I'd been drinking that black stuff. Now I use plastic bottles with plastic lids. It seems like a small thing, but not something you think about your first time around.

Flashback:
See where I was on Day 6 of my first cleanse:
Day 6: Exodus from Mount Toxic Waste

See you tommorrow. Rock on.

Cleanse 2, Day 5: So Smooth That I Lost Count

Thursday January 5, 2006

I woke up this morning thinking how great it was to be on Day 4. It took me serveral hours into the day to realize that I was on Day 5! I guess it's like a road you've traveled before... once you take the trip, all future trips seem shorter because the route is familiar. The unknown associated with my first cleanse made some days seem like an eternity.

The road has been so smooth, I'll focus today on providing some sound bytes:

* I slept great last night. No Senna Shaking in my gut waking me in the middle of the night.
* When I woke up, the bloating from Day 4 was gone.
* My lips are terribly dry. Although it's the winter season, my lips are drier than usual.
* My face is an oily mess. Skin usually dries-out in winter, but mine looks like a teenage acne eruption waiting to happen.
* The sensitive tooth (gum spot) is worse. That makes brushing a chore. I reported the same problem on Day 10 of my first cleanse, and noted that it started somewhere around Day 5. How strange to have the exact same symptom, on the exact day.

I also had my first official food fantasy today. My cleansing co-worker and I got to talking about soul food, and the discussion of Chitlins sent my mind skidding off the Cleansing Highway. I think I landed in a ditch covered in Black-Eyed Peas. I tried to climb out, but slipped on the Collard Greens. The fantasy almost ran away with me when it started raining Deviled Eggs. You get the picture?

Quick Stats:
Glass of Lemonade: 6
Additional Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea (1/2 cup)
Healing Crisis: None, if you don't count the painful tooth/gum.
Weight Loss: My face/neck is shrinking.
Wildcard Stat: Set a record for consecutive "No" when 6-year old son insisted we share my lemonade. He was satisfied when the night ended with a small sip. Humph. Kids.

Flashback:
Check out where I was on Day 5 of my first cleanse:
Day 5, Part 1: Squirrels and Salt Water Flush Don't Mix
Day 5, Part 2: Furry Teeth That Want to Chew

Cleanse 2, Day 4: Hold the Cake, Just Give Me the Candles

Wednesday January 4, 2006

When scheduling a cleanse, you do your very best to avoid times when eating is almost necessary. Holidays, birthdays, and family reunions are the worst time to cleanse. But alas... I missed one.

With an airy sigh in her voice, my mother had a revelation, "Oooooooh. You'll still be fasting on my birthday."

Ouch. I can't remember a year that we didn't celebrate my mother's birthday with some kinda meal. How could I have missed that one? There won't be cake or any other festive food for me. Just pass me a candle. For a moment, I was disappointed with her. On the other hand, I'm enjoying the journey of finding a replacement.


Quick Notes About the Day:
* Bloating, gas, and belching today. That's a surprise for me.
* Still don't miss food one bit. The days are flashing by. 21-days, here I come...


Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: None
Wildcard Stat: I've used enough toilet paper to wipe King Kong for a week. That's a lotta bananas.


Find out how I was doing on Day 4 of my first cleanse:
Cleanse Day 4: If You Could Only Take Two Things With You

Cleanse 2, Day 3: Chicken Burrito with Beans and Salmonella Sauce

Tuesday January 3, 2006

Why are women so strange about being heard in a public bathroom stall?

Today was the first day back to work while on the cleanse. I was reminded of how “colorful” bathroom trips can be. As I was fighting not to sound like I had a Chicken Burrito with Beans and Salmonella Sauce, I wondered why women are so dainty about public bathrooms.

Face it, men stand in cattle lines with their family jewels in hand, and we’re afraid of a few sound effects. Sheesh. LOL

Anyway, besides my public bathroom antics, today was smooth sailing. I eased my own fear of 21-days by rationalizing:

Gee, that’s only 6 more of what I just did (3 days).
Six sounds a whooooole lot better than 18.
Hey, whatever works. ;-)

Other quick notes about the day:
* Woke up with a mild sore throat
* My calves shrank already!
* I slept like a baby
* Just like the last cleanse, I find myself walking fast everywhere. I find that "symptom" quite funny, since I usually complain that everybody is walking too fast.

Quick Stats:

Glasses of Lemonade: 6
Ounces of Water: 40
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: Not really, just a few itchy spots on the skin in the AM.
No-Scale Weight Loss: Hmmm.. Feet look longer when not wrapped in bloating.
Wildcard Stat: I posted more times to the Yahoo masterclease Group than any other day.

Flashback:

Take a look at where I was on Day 3 of my first cleanse:
Day 3, Part I: Control (Like Janet)
Day 3, Part II: Over Tall Buildings in a Single Bound

Just in case you missed it, Salmonella is the bacteria, which causes food poisoning.

Cleanse 2, Day 2: Thank God for Cleansing During the Holiday

Monday January 2, 2006

The day started with a “healing crisis” early in the morning. By 5:40am, I had a rapid heartbeat and wasn’t feeling very well at all. Several years ago, I was on beta blockers to assist with palpitations and rapid heartbeat. The worst started two days after giving birth to my 6-year old. I was rushed to the cardiac ward with a resting heart rate dangerously close to 200 beats per minute. As the staff explained, “200 beats is fast enough to make the heart quit trying.” I have never seen maternity nurses scramble so fast. They seemed more afraid than I was. I remember clearly, it felt like my chest was full of air, and I had to pee a lot. Other than that, I kept asking if I could get up or nurse the baby. Their shocked faces should have been a clear clue.

Anyway, I was actually happy to start Day 2 with a “healing crisis,” because it means I’m getting down to business. In my mind, I was cleansing whatever caused those heartbeat problems in the past. I also knew the crisis would pass. By 10am, I was feeling great – and VERY thankful I wasn’t cleansing at work. That particular “healing crisis” may have prompted me to quit… just to escape the symptoms at work. And I NEVER want to quit just a few days into a cleanse.

It’s 21 days or bust, baby.

• Quick Stats:

Glasses of Lemonade: 6
Ounces of Water: 20
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: Heck yes, rapid heart rate, lasting about 3 hours
Weight Loss: Wow. Feet shrank. Son noticed. No kidding. They were bloated from holiday eating.
Wildcard Stat: Somehow I think I get an award for "fewest food fantasies on day 2."

• Flashback
  

Check out where I was on Day 2 of my first cleanse:
Day 2, Part I | Day 2, Part II

Cleanse Day 10, Part II: The Finish Line

October 18, 2005

I'm still not sure whether I should laugh or cry. Besides accepting Jesus, this cleanse is the best choice I've ever made. As I look at my last bottle of lemonade, I wonder about life-off-the-cleanse. I notice I'm still eliminating some solid matter and wonder if I should add another day. Then I realize I don't have the ingredients, and I settle for the Finish Line.

Now here's a weird symptom that I keep forgetting to note: One tooth became sensitive somewhere around Day 5. No cavity. No nothing. But when I first touch that toothbrush and cold water to my mouth, that tooth sends off an alarm. It's almost like the sensitivity is near the gum of that tooth. Very unusual, and I'm interested to see if it disappears after the cleanse is over.

Notes to those thinking about the cleanse, or on the cleanse:

1. Don't settle for less than 10 days. I've read stories about people lasting fewer days for many reasons. Some are afraid. Some get bored with the lemonade although not hungry. This was my first cleanse and I was determined to last the minimum recommended 10 days. Based on my experience, 3 - 5 days is just a kick-start. The real benefits and increased elimination came after that.

2. Some experienced tiredness. I only experienced that when I wasn't drinking enough lemonade. It's amazing how the lemonade really packs enough "stuff" to live on.

Tomorrow, don't forget to visit the blog and read about the challenges of Life After the Cleanse.

Cleanse Day 7, Part I: The Two-Armed Tape Measure

October 14, 2005/October 15, 2005

This is really a summary of the end of Day 6. I just couldn't resist writing a Part II...

As I prepared my tea for the bedtime ritual, my 13-year old son ran to give me a hug. He stepped away and paused before returning to his video game. Now if you know my son, anything that causes him to pause before a video game is a big deal.

"Hmmm. Wow, mom. I can get both arms around you."

Now let me qualify that statement. He can probably barely get those short little arms around Halle Berry or Tyra Banks, right????

Anyway, I did notice how he was able to clasp his hands together. Makes me wish I did a weigh-in before the cleanse. (Hush, Wolf. I know... metrics, metrics. I'll get to you on this blog later). :-)

I feel strange. Not bad strange...

"Heavy" is a good term to describe the feeling after large or poor meals... because the strange I feel right now is "light." My movemenst don't feel hindered... almost fluid... like moving in water. Did someone spike my lemonade???

I see how super-healthy eaters stay in such great shape in terms of exercise. It's easy to be vital and active when you feel this good.

Notes to those on the cleanse:

1. I have experienced a few bouts with mild dizziness. They go away as quickly as they start. Have more lemonade and realize that the body is working something out. Don't assume symptoms are from a lack of food and quit the cleanse. Be in it to win it, baby.

2. I'm in day 7. When you get this far in a 10-day cleanse, start mapping your plan for after the cleanse including (1) the list of things you need to come off the cleanse correctly and (2) a personal plan for adopting and maintaining healthy eating habits.

3. Never argue that your lemonade is your "food" to a six-year old. Their logic will always win after declaring, "It can't be chewed because there are no whole lemons in it." Smartypants.

Cleanse Day 6: Exodus From Mount Toxic Waste

October 14, 2005

Today is a one-blog-post day. I have an event to attend tonight, and probably won't be around.

My left eye has been a little red for the past two days. Today it let me know why. It's running. Eeeew. My sinuses opend the Phlegm Factory today. Woulda rather missed that grand opening event. Seeing much more debris in the Porcelain Soup Bowl too. All of this indicates the next phase: The Mass Exodus From Mount Toxic Waste.

The ol' body is letting go of "stuff." My throat feels great, but it still sounds like Kermit took up residence. Skin splotch jumped-up onto my right cheek yesterday, and was gone from my face before I could get home. Had a slight "nervous" tremor in my hands last two nites around bedtime. Time for the ol' girl to part the red sea and let the toxins exodus outa Egypt.

Speaking of Exodus, I am feeling a little like Moses right now. Older. Wiser. Fresh off a mountain from receiving the 10 commandments. Well, except it was 10 lemons with some maple syrup.

I set aside some TV watching the past 2 days, and found I didn't really want to use that time. I've enjoyed the quiet evenings of playing with the boys and then reading after they go to bed. I insisted on seeing Everwood, tho. And our game of choice?? Donkey Konga 2 on Nintendo Gamecube. There's a lotta fun packed in that game!

My sons have developed a healthy curiosity about the lemonade and mom's new aversion to food. The oldest thinks it's way cool. The youngest just wants to taste the lemonade all the time. I'm thinking:

"You have a plate of homecooked goodness, and you want cleanse lemonade?" What a clown.

Still having very vivid dreams. The last one featured a cameo appearance by the same neighbor! I'm startin' to wonder.....

Notes for those on the cleanse:

1. Keep your lemonade with you at all times. Carry more than you think you need. If you get pulled away or have an extra errand to run, you don't want to get hungry.

2. Since my Senna tea was still working from the nite before, I skipped the SWF and had another cup of tea for breakfast. This is allowed, but I wouldn't make it a habit. Most accounts hail SWF as the primo was to move waste in the AM.

3. Be a living testimony and share with others. The response from those around me has been extremely positive. I guess they're thinking, "I'll try this now. Your fool-butt didn't keel over yet, so I guess it's okay."

More tomorrow...

Cleanse Day 5, Part I: Squirrels and Salt Water Flush Don't Mix

October 13, 2005

The Salt Water Flush was finally a success today. I still only drank 75% to 80% of it, but...

Tip for Those Who Want to Try the Cleanse:
The directions say "lukewarm" for the SWF, but I added a few degrees. I got great results even tho I was not able to drink 100% of the mixture.

The results were so good, I was still in flush mode on the way to my son's school. The squirrel that ran in front of my car on this rainy day almost caused an incident in the car - if you know what I mean. Note to self: no sudden moves or startling events while still Flushing. I learned the same lesson yesterday when I was practically running into the building and jumped onto the curb. The extra energy made me do it. Those who have cleansed before are laughing now.

I have a slight sinus drip during the late evening and in the morning, but I have almost no sign of allergies during the day. I sneezed at work today... even thought I didn't have that "allergic" feeling that usually goes with it.

Headaches threatened to pop-up last nite... but went away just as quickly. I have a little itchy acne-like splotch on the left side of my chest.

The overall news is the same: I feel like Superwoman.

Gotta run after work and get my Reverse Osmosis Water at Bonterra Market for $0.37 per gallon. You can't beat the price for good clean water. The only trick... you gotta bring your own container or you must buy one. The 2 gal container with nice spout for dispensing is $13 (first fill of water included).

As always, more later.

Cleanse Day 2, Part II: Bodyaches and Belches

October 10, 2005

I ache like I’ve been exercising. I didn’t know that the Porcelain Squat was a contact sport.

Talk about contact sports, my son wanted Mickey D’s today. I’m not big on feeding that to the kids, but the idea sure beat fixing a fabulous home-cooked meal that I couldn’t eat. In rare form, he wanted to eat in the car tonight. Sitting in that confined space, the smell of cheeseburgers with extra onions and those oh-so-fried-right-salty-fries was something like a gourmet meal from the food channel. He had the nerve to smack as he ate. It seemed like I could hear every bite. I wanted to “contact” him at that point. I rolled my eyes, asked for an end to the smacking, and sipped my lemonade.

Oh Lord, I’m fantasizing again. I can’t wait to go to Whole Foods, get some good beef, organic toppings, and whole grain organic buns. I’ll show him cheeseburger with extra onions. Hmm… I wonder what day after breaking the cleanse I can have a burger?

I drive home as he smacks on the fries. I almost ask for one just so I can lick it and throw it out the window. Lick it? What kinda junkie is that??? LOL

Mom calls because she wants me and the boys over for a big fish feast on Friday. Oh no. She remembers the cleanse. When was the last time you had to turn down a dinner invite? “I’m sorry, I must decline. I still won’t be eating solid food by next weekend.” Just saying the words made my body want to rebel. “Down, girl!” (Where’s my whip).

I end the night with the last of the 60 ozs of lemonade. I’m pleased that it’s actually difficult to drink all 10 glasses each day.

Tomorrow is D Day. Day 3. The Big Kahuna. As I finish writing this, the volcano rumbles in the belly of Kahuna Island.

More tomorrow.

Notes for those doing the cleanse:

1. A furbie started growing in my mouth today. My tongue has a white film that looks like a small stuffed animal. The same film is creeping onto my teeth, although brushing gets rid of it. You couldn’t sandblast the stuff off the tongue, though.

2. Many say the Senna tea works overnight. I take mine around 10pm. The first time, I was up at 4:30am or so. Last night, I was up twice between 2am and 3:30am. In spite of getting up in the middle of the night, I am sleeping better than usual in between.

Cleanse Day 2: Part I, Dormant Volcano

October 10, 2005

Aw shucks. I feel great today. I was using 1/2 the Maple Syrup from the recipe yesterday, and didn't realize it. The correct amount makes the lemonade too sweet, so I cut it by 1 tbsp per 2 cups. Aaaah.

True to the promise, I'm not hungry after my second day with no food. It's only 4:00pm on the second day, but the average person would be hungry by now.

I also realize that Day 2 is the calm before the storm. According to most accounts, the most challenging days are Day 3 and Day 4... where the body really starts throwing off toxins and waste buildup.

My face is greasy and getting that "I'm gonna erupt on you any minute now" look. If you've ever had acne or PMS skin problems, you know what I'm talking about.

Although my stomach doesn't feel hungry, it's getting that "I'm gonna erupt in a homage to the Porcelain God" feeling.

The worst part of the day was "trying" to do the Salt Water Flush. It took me 2 minutes to down 1/2 the mixture, and was only able to add a few sips 3 minutes later. I suspect I didn't get the benefit I needed, but I literally *couldn't* get it down. What I was able to get down was already playing peek-a-boo with my throat... threatening to re-enter the world.

I suspect that between now and bedtime, I'll have more to report. I promise a Part II tomorrow.

Tidbits for those thinking about going thru the cleanse:

1. I purchased 18 lemons. Based on my squeezing method, I require 1 whole lemon for 1 glass of lemonade. I was feelin' pretty good in the store, but doing the math meant I only had 3 day's worth. Get LOTS of lemons. LOL

2. Guidelines say you can alter the amount of Maple Syrup - more if you wanna gain weight, less if you wanna lose more weight. I'm not really concerned about the weight, but the full amount is just too sweet for me.

3. The Salt Water Flush is as hard as many say it is. It turned this trooper into a whimp.

4. Buy moist personal wipes (not the ones for your hands... the ones for more "personal" cleansing). I bet these will come in handy during the day, when you want to feel fresh. It's not the frequency... it's the consistency. (Hey, just being honest to help somebody LOL)