Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Email from My Angry Colon

I haven't fasted or cleansed in so long that my colon sent me an angry email. All CAPS. Starting with, "YOU HEFFA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

Right now, my life represents one of the most wonderful and frightening transitions. After 14 years in my profession (the last 12 with the same company), I got flushed down the toilet of "downsizing."

I almost didn't blink at the turn of events. My sixth sense had already detected the scent of trouble. In case you didn't know, corporate financial trouble kinda smells like burnt bologna and fried nerves. But I digress...

I immediately saw this as an opportunity to (1) take a much needed forced vacation and (2) to pursue deferred dreams that I previously filed under "Yeah. Right." More importantly, I'm blessed with the opportunity to cleanse in other ways by focusing on stress, proper diet, and luxuriating in the cure for my former Monday blah's.

My next fast/cleanse likely won't be a Master Cleanse. After a long absence and a tongue-lashing from an angry colon, my bravery meter looks a lot like it did before my first cleanse experience. But I do intend to complete one of two drastic departures from bacon cheeseburgers: (1) A 3-day water fast or (2) A 7-day fruit and veggie fast.

I'll chronicle that experience here, along with my efforts to grow a pair for my next Master Cleanse. Until then, I have an angry email to answer...