Tuesday, March 28, 2006
People describe the life of drinking lemonade as "boring," and sometimes fall off the cleanse out of sheer need to break the monotony. Yet I find so many fun things to do while cleansing, like observing the oddities of life on the Porcelain Throne. So before I continue: I want to call a moment of silence for the toilet paper rolls that are murdered in large numbers while cleansing. [ ]
It's amazing how little time passes before the lifeless little brown tub is hanging helplessly from the roll. One day, the roll is loaded with soft quilted goodness, and the next day it's just a shell of its former self. I wonder if the septic system would need an upgrade if everybody in my townhouse community cleansed at the same time.
I imagine how teams of preschoolers could have endless fun hours of toilet-roll-cardboard-thingy craft projects. Parents would squeal with glee as the next "I love you mommy" project was sent home.
Here's how Day 2 went yesterday: - I drank 53.8 ounces of lemonade (5 glasses) plus 20 ounces of fresh spring water
- It took my P.M. Senna tea exactly 7 hours to work, but this time, it "worked" for about an hour. I was up from 3am to 4am killing more toilet paper.
- The strange dull aches in both ears lasted all day long.
- I continued to have nagging pains in certain joints, but it subsided by evening
- I found myself watching cooking shows, excited about eating healthy foods after the cleanse. I didn't want food though, even when they pulled the fresh Italian pizza from the oven.
- Cooking dinner for my son was easy. He had an organic pizza with basil pesto and a whole wheat crust. I wasn't the least bit interested.
- I do still fantasize about my next opportunity to have chitlins, but the good thing is, I don't want them right now.
October 10, 2005
I ache like I’ve been exercising. I didn’t know that the Porcelain Squat was a contact sport.
Talk about contact sports, my son wanted Mickey D’s today. I’m not big on feeding that to the kids, but the idea sure beat fixing a fabulous home-cooked meal that I couldn’t eat. In rare form, he wanted to eat in the car tonight. Sitting in that confined space, the smell of cheeseburgers with extra onions and those oh-so-fried-right-salty-fries was something like a gourmet meal from the food channel. He had the nerve to smack as he ate. It seemed like I could hear every bite. I wanted to “contact” him at that point. I rolled my eyes, asked for an end to the smacking, and sipped my lemonade.
Oh Lord, I’m fantasizing again. I can’t wait to go to Whole Foods, get some good beef, organic toppings, and whole grain organic buns. I’ll show him cheeseburger with extra onions. Hmm… I wonder what day after breaking the cleanse I can have a burger?
I drive home as he smacks on the fries. I almost ask for one just so I can lick it and throw it out the window. Lick it? What kinda junkie is that??? LOL
Mom calls because she wants me and the boys over for a big fish feast on Friday. Oh no. She remembers the cleanse. When was the last time you had to turn down a dinner invite? “I’m sorry, I must decline. I still won’t be eating solid food by next weekend.” Just saying the words made my body want to rebel. “Down, girl!” (Where’s my whip).
I end the night with the last of the 60 ozs of lemonade. I’m pleased that it’s actually difficult to drink all 10 glasses each day.
Tomorrow is D Day. Day 3. The Big Kahuna. As I finish writing this, the volcano rumbles in the belly of Kahuna Island.
More tomorrow.
Notes for those doing the cleanse:
1. A furbie started growing in my mouth today. My tongue has a white film that looks like a small stuffed animal. The same film is creeping onto my teeth, although brushing gets rid of it. You couldn’t sandblast the stuff off the tongue, though.
2. Many say the Senna tea works overnight. I take mine around 10pm. The first time, I was up at 4:30am or so. Last night, I was up twice between 2am and 3:30am. In spite of getting up in the middle of the night, I am sleeping better than usual in between.
