Friday, December 29, 2006

Weight Loss Challenge 2007

Right now, the moderators (including me) at the mastercleanse Yahoo group are working on plans for a 2007 weight loss challenge. The challenge will begin with a January cleanse (minimum 10 days), and continue with healthy eating and exercise (methods of your choice).

Here is an excerpt from the early plans (nothing decided for sure):


Our first annual weight loss challenge (20 weeks) will begin on Friday January 5th and continue through Friday May 25th.

The challenge will feature:

  • Published entry forms for those who want to “compete” for prizes.
  • Weekly journals for all Challenge participants.
  • Published 20-week journals of the top 3 participants plus participating group moderators.
  • A top prize and runner-up prize, judged by List Owner Mary, and Moderators Anna, Hawa, and Thia.
  • The most awesome weight loss and cleansing peer support available on the internet!


In spite of several concerns that a few of our members are using Stanley Burroughs Master Cleanse as a quick way to lose weight, we are hosting our first annual Weight Loss Challenge. This year’s challenge is named: Lemonhead Losers.

In his book, Stanley Burroughs declared his own cleanse as an optimal way to lose weight (fat, toxins, and water). If that isn’t convincing enough, also consider the following:

  • Overweight/obesity is a known contributor to life threatening illness.
  • The American Heart Association maintains a list of known cardiovascular problems that are specifically caused or greatly magnified by carrying extra weight.
  • The quick weight loss associated with the cleanse is no different than fast weight loss on shows like The Biggest Loser and no different than the quick weight lost after bariatric surgery.

No matter how you slice it, losing the extra weight is a necessary part of any plan for overall health and fitness.

If you fall into the category of folks with a weight loss goal, we invite you to join our Challenge!

Why Now?

We have an unbelievably supportive group of members. Time and time again, our members help each other through difficult cleanse times. Why not offer such quality support for weight loss? Sometimes friendship, support, understanding, and even a little competitiveness can make the difference between reaching the goal and quitting too soon.

Whether or not the Weight Loss Challenge happens, I have a plan to lose 40 pounds in the new year. I'll share that journey at this blog - duplicating my journal entries from the Yahoo group if necessary.

Leave a comment if your New Year involves losing weight. Make your way over the the Yahoo group and get some of the best support available on the internet!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

An Approving Nod to Another Cleanse Blog

Good or bad, nothing compares to the first time. All firsts are memorable, from first loves, to first lovers, to a child's first steps.

Cleansing is quite the same experience, and there's nothing like reading the raw and exploratory expressions of a new cleanse journey.

The woman I know as Straight Dyva posted her first cleanse experience as 1Determination. She aptly named her blog

"Be the Change You Wish to See in the World."

The title comes from a Ghandi quote - encouraging us to make a better world by controlling the only thing we can... Ourselves. I appreciate Dyva's push to live a life of faith and her willingness to share the "heart" of cleansing - beyond the lemons and maple syrup.

Visit 1Determination's blog at:

You can also view and download the PDF of my first cleanse journey at:

Monday, November 27, 2006

A Warm Hello to My International Visitors!

While 75% of my recent visitors (approximately the past 3 weeks) live in the United States (including Alaska and Hawaii), the remaining 25% live outside the states.

Please accept this warm welcome to my visitors from:
  • Canada
  • Italy
  • United Kingdom
  • Australia
  • Brazil
I have traveled to Canada, the United Kingdom, and Italy. I have also traveled to France, Germany, Amsterdam, Spain, and Switzerland. My most fond food memories come from Italy and Spain.

Both years that I traveled Europe, I came home thinner. I find that the availability of healthier food choices in other countries (from ingredients to prevailing attitudes about food) is often the subject of books I read about health. In fact, the growing weight and general health problem in the United States is highly attributed to SAD, or the Standard American Diet.

I most enjoyed the book, "
French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure" by Mireille Guiliano. I recommend this book to anybody as a wonderful commentary on weight issues that reach far beyond superficial motives and quick fixes.

I hope to see all of you again soon!

PS: Thanks to Google Analytics for the cool maps and site visitor statistics that allow me to "see" my International friends. If you have a blog, you need to sign up for this free service.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Common Question: How Do I Keep the Weight Off After a Cleanse?

I am surprised at how many times we get this question at the Yahoo group. Many members are frightened by internet urban legend that laments, "once you come off the cleanse, you pack on huge amounts of weight the moment you eat a morsel of food." These claims are often made by people who either didn't actually do the cleanse, or did the cleanse and went back to crappy eating afterwards.

In spite of the consistent evidence that weight is lost when you burn more calories than you consume - people still ask about what it takes to keep weight off. By confusing the basic answer, companies pocket kajillions of dollars while consumers bounce from solution-to-solution - believing that the answer lies in a remedy that can be purchased off the shelf.

So here's my official answer to the common question about managing weight after a cleanse:

1. Break the cleanse properly. Don't miss a single step in the process as described in the book.

2. Make a slow return to eating. Don't have a bacon cheeseburger right after you complete the "breaking" process. Remember, your metabolism slowed during the cleanse and requires some time to increase to normal levels. Naturally, if you pack in the calories now, you can't metabolize it all.

3. Reduce portions. Today's inhuman portion sizes produced lots of spare tires. Don't judge the proper portion by the tub of pasta served by your favorite Italian food restaurant. I had a small-dang-boat of pasta (Rigatoni Martino) at Carrabba's yesterday. I jumped in head-first and almost got lost in the bowl. It may have been delicious, but normal serving sizes say that my tub held enough food for probably 3 servings.

4. Exercise. Physical exercise helps the body burn calories. If you're gonna burn more than you eat, you must be physically active. Don't buy into the notion that you must have the latest exercise video to do this. Do what you enjoy. Garden. Walk. Ride your bike. There's no magic. Just get moving. If you choose to just control food without exercise, prepare yourself for tiny tiny portions. In my opinion, such a lack of balance isn't healthy.

5. When health is just as important as weight loss, improve the quality of your food. Some people just care about weight. While that may work for them, I'm also interested in long-term health results. In that case, choose whole complex carbs over simple and processed carbs (e.g. white bread, white pasta, etc.) Include lots of "living" foods. It's the living enzymes in food (such as uncooked vegetables) that aid our digestion. Don't fill your days with dead, overcooked, over processed food with no nutritional value.

6. Keep life interesting. Many "diets" require you to omit certain foods for life. That's a great way to lose interest in food and go back to gorging on your favorites. Make sure your eating includes small portions of things you love and some exploratory foods, like the purple whattsit-veggie that you've never seen before.

7. TRUST YOUR BODY'S CUES. You are your own best advocate. You know how certains foods and habits make you feel. Instead of hoping that somebody else's prescription will work for you, learn to manage your own health. You know when you're getting full. Push away from the table. You know which foods make you tired. Don't eat them and cause yourself to skip exercise. See my post on "Doctor Yourself" about your responsibility to learn about your personal health and stop letting propaganda rule your decisions.

Rock on.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Doctor Yourself

Quotes like this can really captivate:
"One-third of what you eat keeps you alive.
The other two-thirds keep your doctor alive."
How about this one...
"Natural healing is not about avoiding doctors. It's about not needing to go to doctors. A dentist is not upset if you're cavity free. A doctor should not be upset if you're healthy."
Both quotes are attributed to Dr. Andrew Saul, who has taken on the war for good health. I came across Dr. Saul in my decision process to fire my doctor and hire a naturopath for my health needs. I know a woman who essentially nursed herself back from health (hadn't walked for almost 2 years) by cleansing and seeing a naturopath. The typical doctor goes blue in the face when you introduce the idea of going without food for 10 days. The same doctors respond with wide-eyed amazement after the cleanse produces outstanding health benefits.

This week, I will order Dr. Saul's book, Doctor Yourself, which focuses on our responsibility to care for our health. The author of one book review offers the following compelling comment:

Doctor Yourself is titled and based on a simple premise: every person is responsible for their own health care. When a person abdicates that responsibility, they often place themselves in the hands of the "disease care" industry, a monolithic and profit-driven enterprise where getting well isn't the bottom line.

After reading the book, I'll provide commentary here at the blog.

Rock on.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Day 6: Prayer and Fasting - The Dynamic Duo

Sunday, August 6th

Prayer and fasting are the dynamic duo. Many who cleanse for spiritual reasons share a common experience when it comes to cleansing and spending some prayerful alone time.

Well I discovered something this morning: We can be led to fast even when it comes to the prayers that we pray for others.

After arriving at church this A.M., and sometime before service started, the Pastor and his wife shared wonderful news with me. Their lives were touched in an area that I have been praying for. I realized that this cleanse/fast wasn't for me at all... but an opportunity to get the Dynamic Duo working on an old prayer.

It's human nature to pray for ourselves, cleanse for ourselves, and hope for personal blessings. Yet praying for the lives of others is a much higher calling. The last time your grocery cashier looked blue, did you speak a kind word and say a small prayer for her as you left the store? That tiny gesture could change the course of her day and therefore every day after.

I know I'm off on a tangent, and somebody should really hook me with a large cane.

I said all that to say: My work is done here. I'm very satisfied with my cleanse results, almost more so to see that the result was for somebody else. Tomorrow is Attack of the Oranges.

Cleansing Rocks. hehe

A note to my readers: In weeks to come, I will be expanding the scope of this blog to include more posts about my life after cleansing and general health information, and other specific research about the Master Cleanse. In spite of successes with the Master Cleanse, my goal is to live a "cleansed life," which to me is defined by healthier living on a daily basis.

Rock on.

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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Days 4 and 5: Bathroom Antics

Friday, August 4th - Saturday, August 5th

Cleansers never know when their body will drag itself to the bathroom for a Porcelain Throne episode of energetic elimination. If you're thinking about the master cleanse, you have to accept the major unknown of bathroom frequency and urgency. I have a job that can accomodate this unknown. Some of you don't, like toll booth workers and traffic cops. While you're on another unexpected trip to the bathroom, cars are speeding through tolls and cars are piling on top of each other. You may want to consider a veggie cleanse...

On Saturday, I had an unwanted meeting with a public restroom. Just when I thought it was safe to make a grocery run with the boys, the Senna tea flipped the script. I flew from the front door to the back aisle in record time. Thank God the bathroom was clean, because the don't-touch-the-seat-squat doesn't work while cleansing. As I sat there, surveying the bathroom, wondering if there was enough toilet paper to get me through, I could hear the boys standing outside the door. By now, they probably appeared to be abandoned by some lunatic mom who lost it in the produce aisle and fled to Mexico. By the time my visit was over, I was glad nobody was waiting to use the bathroom. I fled the scene by scampering to the deli.

In spite of my toxic entry into the cleanse (i.e. drinking coffee almost everyday), I am not experiencing the terrible headaches that can bring down even the strongest cleanser. Eliminations are going well and I'm enjoying a good night's sleep.

I did get a little snarky with the boys - which is another common cleanse symptom that can't be escaped. I am still having a surprisingly difficult time around solid food. It's difficult to imagine I can still be thinking of food while feeling this great without it.

In spite of Stanley Burrough's recommendation to drink at least 6 glasses of lemonade per day, I'm drinking approximately 4. I'm simply not hungry after 4, and I'd have to force the last 2.

Stanley Burroughs lived decades ago, and he's no longer with us. But if you want to learn more about the cleanse, Peter Glickman runs a site with excellent information. Peter is a long-time cleanser and shares information about cleanse symptoms, common mistakes, and other useful tips.

Rock on.

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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Cleansing Butts Prefer Butt Paste

So I realize that I'm behind on my blog posts, but I just HAD to cover this butt material first.

Many of you know about the potential for hemmorhoids, and my personal battle with them while cleansing. I went the Preparation H route, but members of the Yahoo group came with some knockout information...

The irritations of cleansing are better served by Bourdreaux's Butt Paste - basically a diaper rash treatment also used by "irritated" adults. Go figure. One member of the board has used both treatments (Prep H and Butt Paste), and couldn't believe the superior performance of Butt Paste.

Now with a name like Butt Paste, you have to be good. No need having such a stand-out name and delivering booty results. (Yes. The pun was intended. My humor writer is on vacation, so just move on).

Brought to you by the committee to assist cleansers everywhere, no matter how sensitive the subject matter.

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Day 3: Premature Food Dreams

Thursday, August 3, 2006

I had the rare pleasure of reading a cleanse blog that was maintained by a man. The blog was well written, and judging from the comments, he had a group of friends watching him closely and waiting for him to quit.

According to the male author of the blog, while researching the cleanse, he came across the "interesting and corny" idea of food dreams. On day 6 of his cleanse, he finally had a food dream and discovered the truth behind how real - and stressful - they can be.

Well here I am on Day 3 of the cleanse, and I started the day with a food dream. It was amazing. The colors were vivid, the situation was realistic (a cookout/picnic), and I could also taste and feel the food. This particular food dream was quite advanced, because I actually became upset about breaking the cleanse in the dream. Usually, a food dream results in fear after waking that the cleanse was broken. I didn't even wake before that fear hit.

I actually prepared a salt water flush (SWF) this morning - making 16 ounces instead of 32 ounces. I have never gotten down and entire SWF, so I decided not to waste good Celtic salt. I almost finished the entire 16 ounces, and that darned flush worked for at least 2 hours. Needless to say, I had the day off from work.

The day was quite enjoyable, and cleanse symptoms were almost none. I had a slight hint of a headache, and the twitching under the right eye continued. Other than that, I'm having an eerily smooth time on this cleanse.

I only had 5 glasses of lemonade today and lots of water. I forced the last glass down, because I don't want to miss the suggested 6-glass minimum by much.

My sleep has been fabulous, and I'll write more about that tomorrow.

Rock on.

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Day 2: I Wonder What Would Happen If I Quit Now?

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

I can't believe I already asked myself that question. Along with one of my fellow moderators at the Yahoo group, my heart is barely in this cleanse. My mind is squarely there, because I know how much I need to cleanse right now. But my heart keeps betraying what I know.

I actually had blood in my elimination earlier this morning, but it hasn't appeared again since that time. And now, I'm feeling general "ick" and I want to go to bed. I feel like I just ate a plate of raw pizza dough - and it's just sitting in the bottom of my stomach. (Did somebody say Pizza??)

But in some strange dusty back corner of my mind, I'm pleased that I'm having a hard time. That means I'm right where I need to be - cleansing myself. Think about it... cleansing brings things from the inside-out. So if I'm already feeling ick on Day 2, then I had some ick that needed to go.

Attitude Adjustment.

Those are my words for the day. As I read back over this post, it's like reading some dark tragedy. You would think a black cloud was floating over my head, and the cloud suddenly burst into rain. Hmmm. Dark. Snarky. Aaaaaaaaand melodramatic. I'll have to add these things to the list of cleanse symptoms.
Here's hoping I have a sunny, witty post for you tomorrow.

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Day 1: All's Well that Ends Well

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Yesterday was Day 1, and all ended well. I was slightly amused about the twitch that developed under my right eye - especially since I didn't feel an ounce of stress.

Until now, I actually enjoyed cooking for the family and watching cooking shows while cleansing. In a surprise turn of events, yesterday I disliked the act of preparing the boys' dinner and was annoyed by TV commercials featuring food. I don't now what gives, but I hope the condition is temporary.

Cleanse Stats for Day 1:

Lemonade: ~64 ounces

Pure Water: ~34 ounces
AM: No Senna or SWF, PM: Senna Tea
Trips to the Bathroom: Lost count hehe
Number of Food Thoughts: What food thoughts? Are you talking about that bacon cheeseburger that was dancing in my head?
Number of Days Left: 9

Free Advice for Newbies:

When you're cleansing, there is no such thing as gas. Flatulence isn't your friend. If you feel the need to toot, realize that it's a conspiracy. Don't find a quiet corner and give in to the feeling. Go to the bathroom. You'll be surprised that the feeling wasn't air at all.

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Day 1: A Test of My Will

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Last night was the most interesting cleanse prep I've ever experienced. It was like a conspiracy to derail my decision to start today.

I had a refrigerated item in my car that needed to get home fairly quickly. I decided to purchase my lemons from a convenience store to save time.

Not a SINGLE location had lemons. My son went in and out of each place, and not a lemon in sight. Yes, we found other produce. But who bought all the dang lemons?

Already sensitive about starting the cleanse, I got angry and frustrated - which is unusual for me. My son saw my reaction and suggested that I postpone the cleanse. I explained that it wasn't an option, and he wanted to know why.

"Because I promised several members of the group that I would start tomorrow, and I don't intend to let them down. [Pause] Even more importantly, I promised myself and I really need to do this."

I was forced to make a huge gas-guzzling loop back to the supermarket.

Once this loop was over, the time was approaching 7pm. I hadn't seen home for almost 12 hours. I grabbed fast food for dinner near my home. With relief, I hit the gas and imagined how it would feel to walk through the door and kick off my shoes. Home was only down the street. Then I realized that I left my pocketbook IN THE SELF-SERVE CHECKOUT LINE IN THE SUPERMARKET.

Half of my life was in that pocketbook. Numbers. Bank account information. Computer files on a USB key. I had a flash of what a criminal mind might be able to achieve with the contents of my bag.

I grabbed my cell phone and called the store. Miracle #1: My cell phone wasn't in the pocketbook. Miracle #2: The pocketbook was exactly where I left it. The woman on the other end of the line was astonished - and I was relieved.

As I made the turn away from home for gas-guzzling loop #2, I was more than angry. I could spit fire. My jaw was clenched shut. If hell's fire went out at that moment, I'm pretty sure Satan would have called for a quick light. What else could go wrong?

By the time I neared the supermarket, my simmer was down. I had a conversation with myself all the way there, reminding myself of the hidden blessings - which can be found in ANY situation.

"Thank God I learned about the cleanse, and have enough money to buy the ingredients. Thank God for tests that try our patience and build character. And thank God my pocketbook is exactly where I left it."

The moment I stepped from the car to retrieve my bag, the entire day changed. As I entered the door, and older woman gasped and exclaimed, "You look beautiful!" I was floored. It was unexpected, and my attention was in a totally different place. I thanked her with a huge smile that literally melted onto my face. She broke the ice. My ice.

As I walked by her, a neighbor was standing there asking about my son and thanking me for inviting her children to his party. As I approached the desk, the woman complimented my bag and wanted to know where I got it. And on the way out of the store, another woman complimented, "Your dress is very pretty."

A string of negative events ran right into a string of unexpected kind words from strangers.

I didn't bother preparing the lemonade mix last night. The night ended late for me. I couldn't help but wonder what the next day would hold.

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Monday, July 31, 2006

Day 0: Starting a Cleanse on the Wrong Side of the Bed

Monday, July 31, 2006

I suspect that by tomorrow afternoon, I will wish I'd stayed in bed. In my zeal to be a good example, today I became the example of what-not-to-do when preparing for a cleanse.

I put in 0% preparation for my cleanse that starts tomorrow. I'm trying to put on my pleated skirt, grab my pom-poms, and get the cheering going... but I'm on empty. Let's look at my checklist of preparations:
  • Son's birthday resulted in 3 days of cake, ice cream, and leftover junk food.
  • Red wine with dinner last night - usually a good healthy choice but not a great way to start a cleanse.
  • Coffee for breakfast this AM - which is known to cause killer cleanse headaches if not stopped long before a cleanse begins.
  • Pasta with chicken and sausage in the fridge for lunch today - knowing carbs are another factor when cleansing.
With a checklist like this, I need to run away to a cleanse farm somewhere on a secluded island. And by virtue of a massive brain-fart, I'm starting this one in the middle of a work week. Ouch.

Flipping the coin - I LOVE A CHALLENGE. I thrive when things are working against me. I shine when little is expected of me. And I throw a mean punch when threatened by an unusual foe.

My unusual start will probably result in some colorful blog entries over the next few days. That is, if I'll still coherent.

Rock on.
See ya tomorrow for Day 1.

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Some of you know that my current battle with a healthy lifestyle comes after the destructive work of eating my way through a divorce. Even as I head for a major
comeback after peeling the emotional layers, I have an eye turned to the physical layers. Like a metaphor for the necessary "hibernation" time for recovery, I'm ready to come out of the cave AND the extra layer on my body. This fight is harder than any other, because my rewards for "bad behavior" are so immediate. Here's what I mean:
  • Yes, chocolate can cure a long night.
  • Yes, the cheesy goodness of a pizza can be a great companion for a long night of bad memories.
  • And yes, crunchy snacks are a fun friend for dateless movie rental weekends.
After the emotional recovery, I immediately wanted to kill those habits. Instead of bringing perceived relief, comfort foods feel like the artifact of an old reflex instead of something I really need. And thankfully, habits can be broken. Now that I'm sweeping out the cobwebs and feeling like a new woman on the inside, I'm ready for that "new" feeling to show. It's amazing what junk food does to the skin, the hair - and not so surprising what it does to general health and vibrancy. The cleanse on August 1st feels like the final battleground in this war.

Although I keep taking stabs at the Beast of Bad Habits, August 1st is my declared time for "it slays me or I slay it." I don't expect an all-at-once victory. We're talking about a big beast. But I do expect to leave that beast dying on the ground - unable to deal anymore devastating blows. I'll hang it's head as a trophy once the work is done.

No weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17a)

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Disappearing Acts

I certainly know how to pull a disappearing act. I haven't been to this blog in so long, that I had to climb through an unopened window in the back just to get in. The place is dusty, but it's still home.

My next cleanse is scheduled for August 1st. It looks like moderators and members alike have a similar goal at the Yahoo mastercleanse group. I don't think I ever needed a cleanse more than I need one now.
When I'm on target with good health, my focus is like a laser beam - burning holes in junk food and destroying midnight snacks. But right now, when somebody says "hole," I only think of donuts. My laser beam is more like a garden hose set on sprinkle. I'm spraying everywhere between snack food and pizza.

The pop-culture induced reliance on food for everything from celebration to self-medication is a scary thing.
I'll return to the blog periodically between now and August 1st to whine about preparing for the cleanse. I feel like a baby who just dropped her bottle outside of the stroller and nobody's picking it up. I'm having a tantrum over the fact that magic bullets don't exist to resolve a crappy relationship with food or the weight that follows. The tantrum will be short, but I'd still cover the furniture and clear the room. hehe

Rocking on, (but right now with a slice of pizza in my hand)...

(P.S. Are any other Blogger users slightly annoyed that the Blogger spell checker rejects the word "blog?")

Thursday, May 25, 2006

When a Good Scare Gets the Juices Flowing

Ugh. If I could roll my eyes any harder, I'd get a nice look at my brain. I promised myself not to be "the woman who started eating right because a medical scare rocked her world." I hear those stories all the time. Well yesterday was a reminder to go ahead and implement the plan, or I'm gonna miss the mark.

I was sitting at my desk, having a conversation about American Idol with a co-worker. During the conversation, my left arm went numb. I had to be subtle, because I didn't want to alarm my visitor. I wiggled my fingers and made a few loose fists. As my mind turned down the volume on our conversation, my loudest thoughts asked the question, "What the heck is going on?"

I was thankful for the company and the conversation, because it kept me from panic. After a short walk and a trip to the bathroom, I felt almost normal again.

Now there are a few potential reasons I had that scare.

1. I often have strange occurrences on the left side of my body when my digestive system goes on strike. Years ago, I had to see a specialist about it, who told me chest pain and referred pain is not uncommon. Another friend with digestive problems said her pain would settle in her left shoulder. Too bad that's the same marker as a heart attack!

2. Later last night, I had problems with my left collar bone. When I type a lot, a nerve on the left side of neck starts to protest. The numbness was probably my warning for a long night of that weird nerve thingy.

3. My bra is really wearing on my shoulders under the responsibility of carrying around... well... Double D's. You might go numb too.

In spite of the non-emergency nature of the problem, I experienced a moment in time where the status of my health came into serious question. Long periods of eating like a teenager can't possibly be good for a 35 year old body.

Convenience. Habit. Comfort. Habit. Celebration. Habit. Boredom.
Did I mention HABIT?

A cleanse is coming some time after Memorial Day. I'm ready to reset. I really don't care how many times I have to try. The only opportunity to win lies in not quitting.

Rock on.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Back from the Black Hole

Monday, May 1, 2006

Well dang. I disappeared for too long. Do you ever have those times in life when you fall into a black hole, and some unseen force is munching away your days like M&M candies?

I apologize for being away so long.

I finished my last cleanse on Day 5. My tongue was turning pink, and that sealed my thought that I need to leave a little more time between each cleanse.

I'll go dig up the message I left at the Yahoo board and share it here...

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Day 6: Pink Tongue and Orange Juice

This last cleanse was a breeze, and I felt great the whole time. I was surprised that I could only get down 3 to 5 glasses of the lemonade per day, and sometimes I was trying to chug that before bedtime! In spite of getting much less lemonade, my energy was great, my eliminations were great, and I'm pleased with the results.

On the evening of Day 3, I checked my tongue and noticed pink. I ignored that as a hallucination, because that seems waaaaaaay too early for a pink tongue. Lo and behold, I am on pink alert again today, so goes the cleanse.

Having left about 2.5 months between cleanses, I guess it's possible I'd be pink on Day 6 the third time around. Besides the short time off the cleanse, I considered some other possibilities:
  • On the last cleanse, I eased myself back to eating MUCH slower. I continued to "cleanse" and lose weight afterward with the orange juice and lots of produce.
  • I gave myself a hard time about returning to some foods. Now, I realize that I developed some good habits that I didn't give myself credit for. I became a nut about drinking lots of water each day, I replaced MANY of my snacks with organic pistachios, I increased my intake of fruits and vegetables, and I incorporated more whole and organic choices.
  • My wardrobe is slowly getting too big for me. I hadn't really noticed, but people had been commenting about the way my clothes fit since before I started this third cleanse. Just more evidence that I'm doing something right between each cleanse.
I want to do a cleanse at the end of June, as a summer seasonal thing. The timing is perfect, because I'm able to leave a full 3 months between cleanses.

Rock on, y'all!
Hawa (Moderator)

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

In Memoriam on Day 3

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
People describe the life of drinking lemonade as "boring," and sometimes fall off the cleanse out of sheer need to break the monotony.
Yet I find so many fun things to do while cleansing, like observing the oddities of life on the Porcelain Throne. So before I continue:
I want to call a moment of silence for the toilet paper rolls that are murdered in large numbers while cleansing. [ ]
It's amazing how little time passes before the lifeless little brown tub is hanging helplessly from the roll. One day, the roll is loaded with soft quilted goodness, and the next day it's just a shell of its former self. I wonder if the septic system would need an upgrade if everybody in my townhouse community cleansed at the same time.

I imagine how teams of preschoolers could have endless fun hours of toilet-roll-cardboard-thingy craft projects. Parents would squeal with glee as the next "I love you mommy" project was sent home.

Here's how Day 2 went yesterday:
  • I drank 53.8 ounces of lemonade (5 glasses) plus 20 ounces of fresh spring water
  • It took my P.M. Senna tea exactly 7 hours to work, but this time, it "worked" for about an hour. I was up from 3am to 4am killing more toilet paper.
  • The strange dull aches in both ears lasted all day long.
  • I continued to have nagging pains in certain joints, but it subsided by evening
  • I found myself watching cooking shows, excited about eating healthy foods after the cleanse. I didn't want food though, even when they pulled the fresh Italian pizza from the oven.
  • Cooking dinner for my son was easy. He had an organic pizza with basil pesto and a whole wheat crust. I wasn't the least bit interested.
  • I do still fantasize about my next opportunity to have chitlins, but the good thing is, I don't want them right now.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Day 2 of My Third Cleanse

Monday March 27, 2006

Today is Day 2 of my third cleanse. This cleanse rolled-in with no red carpet and no parade. I managed to start without a huge blog introduction or ticker-tape confetti. I even skipped the "I'm getting ready" speech from a hilltop, complete with local news cameras.

This cleanse tiptoed in more like a lamb than a lion because I'm feeling like an old pro. Honestly, the nutty anxiety and the frantic shopping weren't present. In fact, last night, mom said, "Wow, I didn't even know you were on another fast."

This is starting to feel like a familiar road. It's kinda like driving home from work. You've done it so much, that you give little attention to the whole affair. That's in stark contrast to driving to an unfamiliar place, when you might turn off the radio, glare out of the window, and tell passengers to "hush" as you try to read the road signs.

For me, there's no staring out of the window with a white-knuckled grip on the wheel. The cleanse feels natural and right.

A member of the Yahoo group (guruin2) recently dubbed cleansing "an expression of pure love for myself." The rest of us have embraced that statement as the most accurate mission, purpose, and victorious result of cleansing. If you've ever seen a person drive miles to find the right gas for their car, but fuel their own bodies with deadly garbage, then you truly understand the need for "self love" above "car love," especially if you want to ride in a real car instead of the funny looking car riding at the front of a funeral.

It's still early on Day 2, but I can share a few blurbs:
  • I started the day at 6:15am with Senna tea. By 11:05am, I was making Toilet Soup.
  • Mild headaches, runny nose, body aches, and mild earaches reveal some quick cleansing work going on.
  • If you have the habit of waiting until the last minute to go to the bathroom, stop it. Stop it now. I just received a close-call reminder that the first "gurgle" means RUN.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

If My Life Was a Car...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

...I would be sitting firmly in the driver's seat. But a pesky front-seat passenger would have a hand on the steering wheel, fumbling a foot on the pedals, and causing me to swerve off the path.
At least backseat drivers have no real influence. They don't have access to the driver's tools. In fact, backseat drivers only have useless guidance and annoying voices.

But my passenger is sitting in the front of my car. I'm able to keep a general direction, but I find myself drifting, and stopping to repair damage after swerving into obstacles. My pesky passenger is an unreasonable relationship with food. Notice I didn't say FOOD itself?

When was the last time a pie jumped off a plate and down down someone's throat? Food itself has zero influence. It's the crappy choice to invite food into every crevice of life. Joy calls for food. Celebration calls for food. Boredom calls for food. Happiness comes over for a party, and food gets an invitation. In fact, even mourning calls for... you guessed it... food. A drug addict has nothing on a PMSing woman who wants chocolate. NOW.

I decided to consider a time or circumstance where food isn't on the list of invitees, since the food list is so long.

[cue the chirping crickets and hollow echo]

So here I am. Driving my car. I can almost see the destination, or at least a few places I'd love to stop and visit. Mr. Poor Eating Habits causes the trip to stall in all kinds of ways.
  • I'm introduced to migraines at the age of 16
  • I pop up with high cholesterol at the ripe old age of 23
  • I develop digestive problems that require medication in my mid to late 20's
  • Around the same time, I'm on a beta blocker for heart palpitations
  • In my late 20's, I develop menstrual problems
  • And for most of this time, I'm fighting to get to a healthy (and sexy *wink) weight
The list seems to go on forever because I haven't kicked the annoying passenger out of my car... So I stop and pick up another passenger. Good Health Habits climbs into the back of the car. Poor Eating Habits turns around with a scowl. Now they're fighting, and I'm happy to have an extra passenger who's on my side.

My new passenger has a huge bag loaded with weapons. Cleansing/Fasting/Detoxing. Whole and organic food. Lots of water. An attitude that I deserve to win every good blessing.

I'm turning a sharp corner, and the door flies open on Poor Eating Habits' side of the car. He holds on to keep from getting ejected onto the highway. Now if I can only get the seatbelt loose, and add one final swift kick in the...

Rock on,


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Watch Where You Swing that Daggone Bat!

Tuesday, March 7, 2006
A young man is given at baseball bat as a birthday gift. On one path, he uses that bat to learn the game and become a wealthy sports figure. On another path, he uses that bat to commit a horrible crime.

Was the bat good or bad?

Just like any other tool, like hammers, love, or even sex, the bat didn't have an absolue "good" or "bad" value. The intent and motivation of the user sealed the determination.

If you know me at all, I have a sly way to connect this post to cleansing. Here goes:

As a moderator at the Yahoo group for cleansers, I am alarmed by the number of people who are bordering on abusing the cleansing tool.

In one corner, you have the folks who are prepared for the long term committment to health and recognize the cleanse as a great starter. These Gold Star Cleansers have a mature plan, read the book carefully, stick to the rules, and don't attempt strange home-remedies.

In the other corner, you have the folks who just want to lose weight. Fast. Too fast. These Red Flag Cleansers usually have lofty weight loss goals, don't want to read the book, couldn't care less about toxins, and put themselves at risk with miscellaneous cleanse antics. And most of all, they really scare me.

The language of a Red Flag Cleanser usually screams,

"I'm ready to replace my eating dysfunction with dangerous cleansing dysfunction. I don't want to read a book. I want somebody to give me the lemonade recipe and leave me alone. I'll do this fast until I can't take it anymore, and I'll come off by eating a double cheesburger, risking my health in the process. I'll weigh myself everyday and I demand to see the pounds drop to the floor. If I can't achieve that by Day 3, I'll declare that this cleanse doesn't work, and ignore the other improvements in my health."

I have a serious, personal desire to see people's health turn 180 degrees. I fight the battle everyday. As I win, which I will, I want to take a crap-load of people with me. Until then, I ask you to examine which team you're on (Gold Star or Red Flag). If you're on the Red Flag team (and I've been there before), admit it first and jump to the Gold Star side.

I've been on both sides of the health war, and the grass really is greener... okay.... more golden... over here.

Love ya all. Let's win together.
With a heart of love,

Thursday, March 02, 2006


Thursday, March 2, 2006
As my thighs become reacquainted with each other and make that reunion swishing sound, I have a renewed fascination with our relationship to food. Over at the Yahoo group, we have a lively conversation going about using food to escape - and other links between food and emotions. Once you go on a cleanse with no food for 10 or more days, you learn just how often you think about food. A thin and healthy coworker even found himself surprised over impulse food habits that he'd developed over the years. One member of the board posted a most interesting theory:
Its funny how weight gain actually manifests itself into an emotional disorder. A period of short term stress with long hours and little sleep can cause a person to adopt unhealthy eating habits in order to cope with the stress. As the unhealthy eating causes a person to gain weight, they begin to feel sluggish and lazy and begin to reduce any physical activities previously enjoyed.

This in turn leads to more weight gain. When the gain has reached a point where it is readibly noticeable by the person and their peers, then self esteem issues begin to surface generating stress leading to more unhealthy eating habits. Also, most unhealthy eating habits involve large amounts of bad carbs which I personally know to be addictive.
Looking back over the past several years, I can't remember a lonely, stressful, angry, or sad moment that I didn't stuff with a comfort food. Sadly enough, commercials are openly promoting the strategy of stuffing an emotional issue with crappy food.

So I'm actively searching for a replacement. I'm firing comfort food on the spot, and hanging the "help wanted" sign. Who or what should apply for the job? Use the comments feature to share your answers, and I'll post my responses to your suggestions.

I have a few ideas of my own, and I am on a serious personal mission to win a battle that many people lose. Besides missing the mark God established for the body-as-temple, I realize that I don't look or feel like the "me" I know and love. I have plans for a long and prosperous life. Now only if I could get my thighs to cooperate...

Friday, February 10, 2006

Motivation from a Tiny Voice in the Dark

Friday February 10, 2006

My 6-year old still has questions about why mommy and daddy aren't together anymore. His big question last night, "Were you sad when daddy said he didn't love you anymore?"

After giving him the canned answer, he responded with his own logic.

"I don't see why, because you are the sweetest mom. You're so sweet."

He said this with a voice so tiny and sincere, that time stopped for me. In fact, I'm still back there somewhere, huddled with him in his room. Twenty years from now, I could stand in the middle of a massive bone-cold nor'easter and still get some warmth from that precious little declaration.

For every reason I have to live a healthy life for myself, there is another reason related to those I live my life to help.

Note to self: Don't post a quick entry from work, where a cubicle neighbor can fart and ruin a precious moment. hehe *sigh

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Strength in Numbers

Thursday, Feburary 9, 2006

Besides having the support of my cleansing co-workers, I am more and more blown away by the level of support shared at the Yahoo group: mastercleanse. I was invited to join the team of moderators, which was logical since I'm a group junkie anyway.

Although you can't argue with the joys of expanding your cleanse vocabulary (thanks everyone for the ever-accurate "butt pee")... I am more impressed at how open and honest people are about the mental aspects of cleansing.

People oftem come my way, wondering if the "cleanse experience" will be good for them. Although we sometimes feel totally unique, wisdom says we basically share the same fears, concerns, and desires for a better life.

So if you're still considering the cleanse, and my blog didn't convince you that butt pee is just groovy... get yourself a free membership to the Yahoo group!

Click here to join mastercleanse
Click to join mastercleanse

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Lessons from a Hair Ball

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

My 6-year old son was particularly good on a recent shopping trip to Target - so I allowed him one impulse-buy. He chose an overgrown Koosh-like ball called "Hair Ball." It looks like a round green porcupine, and I admit that it's lots of fun to handle.

The huge "hairs" all over the ball are elastic and seem to stretch to infinity. There's only one thing... my son can't stand to see anyone pull a "hair." I was able to leverage this little gem to negotiate some extra peace over the weekend.

Me: "Mommy said sit down and stop making so much noise."

Him: [still running like the energizer bunny]

Me: [yanking about 3 "hairs"]

Him: [Suddenly the picture of perfection, sitting indian-style, and asking for his helpless hair ball]

Now that may sound like parental torture, but it's actually child-level negotiation at its finest. All the parents are nodding in agreement...

Strangely enough, the hair ball reminded me that I need to negotiate my health and leverage what I can. Just like you can't always reason with a small child, there are some things you shouldn't try to reason with yourself. Hating my genes, accepting others' opinions, and signing petitions to shut down the McDonald's empire represent a monumental waste of energy.

But, cleansing and changing habits related to my life are things I can control... and give me leverage over results.

If you're thinking about cleansing, get started right away! Make that the first step to a new life.

I'll wrap this post with the Serenity Prayer... a popular prayer that we should say everyday:

God, give me the serenity to accept the things I can not change...
The courgage to change the things I can...
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Stumbling and Almost Falling

Thursday, February 2, 2006

I stumbled this week. It's like somebody tied my shoelaces together. While they were at it, they bound and gagged my new personal guidelines for a healthier life - and shoved them into a huge duffel bag.

The past four days have been a challenge. Food calls me to suppress stress and boredom. And alas, I finally had the pop-culture icon of the Standard American Diet.... can you guess what it is?... here are some clues:

  • If satan could cook, this is the food he would prepare
  • It smells great when you're craving it, and smells like h@ll when you're trying to eat right
  • No rational mind on the planet actually wants to eat this food, but can't escape the eerie force field when driving by in a moment of weakness
  • Just like nicotine is the addictive part of cigarettes, the finger-licking salty sticks are the addictive part of this food
Did you guess McDonald's? LOL!

I finally had McDonald's this week, and it was downhill from there. Slight headache. Poor sleep. Skin breakout. And the worst... craving more bad food. I won't even talk about the Girl Scout cookies that fell out of the sky and landed on my desk yesterday. Well... they kinda landed there after I went to the ATM, took out the money, and paid the dedicated father who was selling them for his daughter...

I almost gave up this morning, but something strange happened...
Even tho I felt bloated, I put on my red suit, and the pants were looser! That was enough to keep me encouraged.

On top of eating right most days, I've made other lifestyle changes
. I walk more, and I starting using my 2 hours in the car as an opportunity to exercise. I exercise my legs while on cruise control, my upper body while at red lights, and my abs (crunches) while driving with the pedals. It's scary to sit for 2 hours in the car most days, and then work a desk job all day - which requires a lot more sitting.

One day at a time, gang. One day at a time...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

LIfe After Cleansing

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Life after cleansing is a huge new priority for me. Are we required to go back to the Standard American Diet, and feeling like crap, so we can escape through the euphoria of another cleanse a few months later?

My goal is to see how good I can feel, how healthy I can feel, for how long after a cleanse. Here's a recent post I sent to the great gang at the Yahoo mastercleanse group:

Yesterday was my first real "day off" day.
As many of you know, my plan for life after the cleanse includes (by week):

1. 64 to 80 ounces of water per day (I thought that was a gallon, but it's just half a gallon!)
2. four days of eating right, including the quality of food and attention to total caloric intake - with a focus on good fruits, veggies, whole grains, and good protein (e.g. limit or avoid red meat)
3. one day of fasting (Wednesday, water and some fresh juice only)
4. two days "off" of fairly unmonitored eating

On my first real "day off", I had lunch at my favorite restaurant (tilapia in butter cream sauce and ceasar) and 3 Tastykake cupcakes. I also had water, nuts, and fruit in between.

Well let me tell you, I felt lousy by the end of the nite. I don't think I ever want to see a Tastykake again! What surprised me most was how my next morning went...

By this AM, I wasn't feeling like the glowing ball of vibrant life that I was getting used to. I almost felt "blue." I even thought about starting the day with a Wawa cappuccino! I wanted "relief" and found myself craving the wrong stuff.

My mind wandered back to the kind of eating day I had, and I realized how much food really does affect our emotional state and why cleansing is such a euphoric time. Imagine how terribly we eat on a daily basis sometimes. We really do adjust to being "sick and tired" all the time. Remember how the school was able to eliminate behavior problems in the movie "Super Size" when they switched to a healthy hot lunch program?

I'm really ready to challenge my post-cleanse guideline of "two days off" for eating. I feel like I'm gonna spend this entire fasting day (today) trying to recover from the crap I ate yesterday.

I've even changed the date for my next cleanse from June/July to April. There's no way I'm waiting that long in between cleans
es. LOL

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Cleanse 2, Days 13 - 15: Body Quits Before I Do

Friday January 13, thru Sunday January 15, 2006

Day 13 was definitely the most unusual cleanse day I've ever experienced. The mild rejection of the lemonade on Day 12 became a full blown problem today. Not only do I have trouble swallowing the lemonade, but just smelling the individual ingredients turns my stomach.

Day 13 Stats: 4 glasses lemonade, Senna Tea AM and PM

By the end of the day, I was only able to get down 4 glasses of the lemonade - which is 2 short of the 6-glass minimum. In spite of that, I was still willing to continue... UNTIL... I couldn't get the Senna Tea down! It tasted like somebody mixed something strange in my tea, and I had to struggle to get it down. I've only heard of one other person who experienced an actual rejection due to a strange change it taste. Alas, tomorrow must be orange juice!

I awoke on Day 14 still somehow willing to make a go of the lemonade again. As I continued to reject the advice "listen to your body," I am more bent on wanting to finish 21 days! I stepped out of bed and decided to go squeeze some lemons. My stomach leapt and twisted in my body. In perfect obedience, I declared: "No problem. Orange juice it is!"

I continued to "cleanse" today, and felt quite great. I made the right choice.

Day 14 Stats: 1 liter of organic Bolthouse orange juice and a few glasses of water

Day 15 was a repeat of Day 14. Same amount of orange juice and water. Feeling even better. In spite of my personal let-down for missing 21 days, my body keeps screaming what a success the cleanse was. After two days of just orange juice and water, I'm feeling like a spring chicken.

This time around, my life after the cleanse is a MAJOR priority. I'll continue this blog for everyone who's curious about the trials of maintaining weight and other benefits after a cleanse.

For all those interested, my next 10-day cleanse is scheduled for 6 months from now.

Cleanse 2, Day 12: Winding Down Before My Time

Thursday January 12, 2006

Oh Lordie. I'm starting to experience mild rejections to the lemonade. I wonder if it's related to my tongue turning towards shades of pink.

This unexpected turn is making me a little nervous. This cleanse is part of my "First Fruit" offering for the year. This biblical principle of setting aside the first of the year is an important part of my life. Beyond the regular tithe (10%), first fruit represents consecrating the freshest offering for the Lord. My 21-day goal to fast is offered in addition to my financial offering.

I am going to continue on the cleanse, and explore other "worst case scenario" options. I can always dedicate the balance of the 21 days to fruits/veggies/nuts. Most of all, I want to make sure this is really a physical phenomenon, and not an emotional desire to return to food!

My Daisy Cooks cookbook arrived, and I had a fun time looking at recipes and planning a healthy life after the cleanse...

Keeping it short today, so here's the:

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): We're rolling now! I may be down a whole size, and the mirror is so so good to me right now.
Healing Crisis: None? (gotta follow this "lemonade rejection...")

Rocking on, no mater what...

Friday, January 13, 2006

Cleanse 2, Day 11: Past the Halfway Mark!

Wednesday January 11, 2006

Alas, the halfway-mark celebration is shadowed by the fact that boredom is setting in. Hey, if you eat anything 3 three times a day for 10 days straight, you may start looking at it a little cross-eyed.

I can say that I'm truly loving the free breast enlargement. C'mon ladies, raise your hands if the fat loss on your belly gave lift and definition to those feminine curves.

Regardless of boredom, I'm pleased with my jump into unknown territory (since my first cleasne was only 10 days). As many cleansers often describe, I am shockingly "unhungry" at this point. Your brain wants to fight with you and force you to believe that you must eat soon. A tiny voice wants to panic when food has been consumed in double-digit days. But your body is also speaking, and the feel-good results fight back against the brain's attack with logic. Then the brain counter-punches with a whiney, "I wanna taste food."

Then I step in and end the match, reminding both that this cleanse isn't just about either of them. I started with a specific purpose to give a first-fruit offering to the Lord for spiritual reasons. Like two children, I send them to their rooms so I can make more lemonade.

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 33.8 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): I can look down and see lap... and chair!
Healing Crisis: None

Wanna see where I was shortly after I finished my first cleanse?
The Day After: Attack of the Oranges

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Cleanse 2, Day 10: I'm Every Woman

Tuesday January 10, 2006

Some time ago, as I helped my 6-year old with his homework, he had a wide-eyed revelation:

"Mommy, you're a teeeeeeee-cher!"

"Why yes, honey, I am."

During the Christmas holiday, I got some scrubs for wearing around the house, and he had another revelation,

"Mommy, you look like a NURSE!"

"I am a nurse, honey."

Whether single parents, wives or mothers, women are still living the life of "every woman."
Wife | Friend | Boo-boo nurse | Teacher | Daughter | Secret-keeper.

That list can go on until the blog crashes or Christ returns - whichever comes first. The "woman" missing at the top of too many lists is "just me."

As I cleanse, the way I look and feel starts actually feeling like "me." The time I take to care for my health - outside of mom and boo-boo nurse - is a step closer to enjoying the "me" that I rarely get to hang out with.

Ever notice how women on makeover shows become a heap of tears in the mirror as they exclaim, "I finally look the way I feel. That's really me."

Every moment I spend on this cleanse is a moment dedicated to me. Besides, everbody benefits when the boo-boo nurse has lots of energy and lives a long life.

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): Noticeable shrinkage in the midsection
Healing Crisis: Not sure, but nauseous cramps and loud ringing in ears in the evening that was gone when I woke up.
Wildcard stat: I've caught myself running up the steps enough to rival Rocky Balboa.

Wanna see where I was on Day 10 of my first cleanse?
Day 10, Part I: To Be or Not to Be Done(?)
Day 10, Part II: The Finish Line

Cleanse 2, Day 9: Flushing Cowburgers

Monday January 9, 2005

Wow. Thank God for small favors. I was off from work today with my son, who was fighting some sorta bug.

I've been eliminating today like I ate an entire cow the night before the cleanse. Make that a bacon-cheddar cow, with bun and all. Unlike the first cleanse, where I had many days of regular, but light elimination - I've been sloughing off stuff from Day 1 this time.

I had a few crappy moments today. I suspect that whatever emotion I've been medicating with food... it's coming to meet me head-to-head. I've been snarky with the kids, and I hit a period of emotional hunger. I can't help but wonder if it's because tomorrow is "supposed" to be the last day of a cleanse... and Day 11 becomes unfamiliar territory for me.

Funny how I can feel so crappy and look so great. The skin is still glowing! lol

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 40 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Nothing (fell asleep!)
Weight Loss: About the same
Healing Crisis: Dark spots on the whites of my eyes today, that lightened/went away by evening.

Wanna see where I was on Day 9 of my first cleanse?
Day 9, Part I: The MasterCard(R) Commercial
Day 9, Part II: The Beat Goes On

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Cleanse 2, Day 8: The Standoff with Johnny Carino

Sunday January 8, 2006

I took my kids to our favorite restaurant today, Johnny Carino's. This was a much greater test of my will, compared to Pizza Hut. When the menu came, I could hear the old Western movie gun fight music. I clicked my spurs and positioned my hand over the holster.

Victory for me is defined as a new relationship with food. Success means the ablity to say "no" when necessary. And face it, if I can't look Carino in the face without breaking a sweat, how will I ever succeed when I'm outside of the protective lemonade barrier??

The waiter, Alex, was the fun part of the night. I told him to pass by me, because I won't be eating in January.

[Eyes growing big] "You're not eating for a month??"

[Shrugging] "No, just 21 days."

By now, Alex's eyes look like they might pop out of his head and land on the table. For something that gross, I'd expect a free meal.

Alex made several trips back to our table for more information. He was fascinated. I love when somebody is willing to accept new information regarding proper health and longevity. Alex became my foster child. His curiosity was lovable.

By the end of the meal, our young 20-something server was considering the cleanse to break some barriers with his weight and overall health.

I left the name of the book and a 58% tip to make sure he remembered our conversation.

Alex, you rock, man.

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: Senna Tea, PM: Senna Tea
Weight Loss (no scale): The comments are coming in. It's very noticeable at this point.
Healing Crisis: None
Wildcard Stat: Survived the first and only time I will ever enter Carino's and not order something, like the amazing Garlic Jalepeno Tilapia. That's just crazy talk.

Wanna see where I was on Day 8 of my first cleanse?
Day 8: Stuck on Snarky

Cleanse 2, Day 7: Food Fantasy Graduates to Entire Restaurant Fantasy

Saturday January 7, 2006

I took my boys to Pizza Hut today. While they sat and ate pizza, I wrote a mini-business plan for a unique restaurant. As I consider life after the cleanse, I'm disappointed by the food choices available to families who want to dine out.

I have to admit, the restaurant idea could be a defense mechanism for surviving an afternoon at Pizza Hut. It could be my chitlin food fantasy turning into a full blown "restaurant fantasy."

I've been watching a lot of cooking shows. Some say this introduces temptation, and only a nut would cleanse and watch people cook scrumptious food. But I'm taking a different position. My post-cleanse life is all about better food choices. Watching those shows now is building an arsenal of better skills while NOT under the pressue of eating.

The best part of the day? My 13-year old son was my two-armed tape measure on my first cleanse. He discovered that he could get his arms around my waist by day 7. Today, he conducted the same test and found he could overlap his wrists on the other side.

Today was a slow day, so straight to the quick stats:

Quick Stats:
Lemonade: 6 glasses
Water: 20 ounces
AM: SWF (1/2), PM: Senna Tea
Healing Crisis: None
Wildcard Stat: The youngest person in the family to ever need Preparation H to make it through a day.

Want to see where I was on Day 7 of my first cleanse?
Day 7, Part I: The Two-Armed Tape Measure
Day 7, Part II: The Tolerance of a Flea