Thursday, October 23, 2008

Shame Shame Shame

From what I gather on the internet, this picture represents a day of shameful stair-scapades for Miss. Thailand. Po' chile. You know she felt like seeping into the floor once the folks on the right finally peeled her off the floor.

Notice how the folks on the left are still in shock and haven't stopped clapping their hands yet? But I digress.

As the current poster child for unhealthy living, that's ME falling down those darned stairs. (Only I wouldn't do it in a short skirt and slingback shoes, but I digress again.)

Just like doctors who smoke and firemen who start fires, I have more-than-average knowledge about health/nutrition and I'm not acting on that knowledge in a positive way.

Ain't that a cryin' shame?

I know one thing. I hope you keep reading this blog. Because if I can get my ish together and get healthy A-N-Y-B-O-D-Y can. Seriously. And all my dirty little laundry along the way will be hanging on a line right here for you to gawk at.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Ahhh.... The day I should be basking in the sunlight of my own cleanse...

But I'm sitting under a thunder cloud of poor preparation. In the craze of getting the kids ready to return to school, I never made it to the store for my ingredients. So while I was sitting on a mountain like the wise King Solomon... waving my hand to the newbies below and telling them that the best advice is to PREPARE... I was running around like a blind mouse failing at my own preparations.

This weekend, here I come.

Now lemme go read my own advice again since I fell off the side of my wisdom mountain like Humpty Dumpty.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth: Know Your Food Allergies and Sensitivities

Don't ask me when. Don't ask me why. But in a blog post a loooooong time ago, I challenged my readers to use post-cleanse life to get a grip on food sensitivities and food allergies. Since then, a male coworker happily told me that he tried the experiment and discovered a food allergy.

Here's how it works:

Food sensitivities and full-blown food allergies are tied to medical conditions ranging from irritating rashes to asthma.

And there's a way to start identifying such nuisances on your own - by stripping down to a basic diet and adding one type of food at a time.

And what better time than after a Master Cleanse?

It is very difficult to identify offending foods during the normal daily routine. Imagine the foods you ate in the past week. If just a single food was causing an unpleasant health problem, how in the world would you be able to isolate it?

That's where the Master Cleanse, aka The Gift Horse, comes in...

As you (may already) know, the day after the Master Cleanse begins with orange juice. Then comes vegetable soup. After that, folks' eating habits range from vegetarian to bacon-cheeseburger-tarian. The gloves are off and anything goes. Why not use the valuable time after a cleanse to slowly re-introduce old foods and see if a particular food choice triggers a sensitivity or full-blown allergy?

Folks with ailments such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), asthma, skin conditions and even Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) may find relief from symptoms by eliminating troublesome foods.

And don't you deserve it?

So don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The digestive tract is sparkling clean after a 10-day cleanse. Use that precious time to explore food options and possibly arrest some culprits.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Advice To Tashia the Newbie from Hawaii

I dedicate this post to Tashia and all the other Master Cleanse newbies who haven't taken the plunge.

What advice can I give to first timers? Here goes my attempt to sound smart and helpful in just two words...

Plan well.

  • I can't tell you how many times newbies underestimate the initial lemon purchase. Buy lots. Buy too many. Pretend they're going out of style. Then buy even more than that.

  • Don't start without all of the ingredients and pretend you'll make it to the store on the day you begin. That is a serious cleanse-killer, because the trip to the store may be interrupted by a bacon cheeseburger. Or the detour could become the excuse to just "try again another time."

  • If you live alone, get rid of your favorite foods. If that means eating them before you start... you can do that too. hehe

  • If you cook for a family, like I do, I find planning a menu very helpful. That way, I only buy the food I need for them and don't spend so much time browsing the options.

  • Pre-plan what you'll tell those around you, from family to co-workers. Whether on purpose or not, those folks can be major cleanse-killers by offering food or talking about what a "dangerous thing you're doing." Get in the zone and be ready for them.

  • You may want to 'cleanse before the cleanse.' Some folks prepare by cleaning-up their act the week before. In our Yahoo! Group, the general consensus is that coffee drinkers have a hard time with detox headaches. If you drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, sippy-sippy on the alcohol or eat a lot of refined carbohydrates, you many want to wean off these things in the days leading to the cleanse.

  • And I can't end without recommending our awesome support group at the Yahoo! Mastercleanse group. Don't underestimate the value of talking to other folks going through the same drama as you!

Bonus advice. Measure your lemon juice every single time you mix. Some have 'rule-of-thumb' estimates about the amount of juice a single lemon holds. I measure every single drink, because juice yield can vary. Stanley Burroughs is very clear that the juice measurement is not negotiable for each glass. This isn't Walmart. Cut corners and you'll get what you pay for... And I'm not talking about cheap gadgets painted with toxic materials and flesh-eating rubber sandals.

As always, you can search through my blog posts to find a few more gems... like the priceless value of Bordeaux Butt Paste and the benefits of local bathroom maps. hehe

Happy Cleansing!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

My Next Cleanse is Looming Like a Storm Cloud

My last cleanse was January 2007. I went 13 days, and I felt like Rocky running up all those dang steps. Only I had lemonade in my water bottle.

As August 2008 nears an end, I sit nervously planning a September 1 cleanse.

What!? You didn't know that old cleanse veterans still get nervous?

Anyway, every cleanse is so different that the 5th can feel like the 1st.

Who knows if the 3rd day will be tough or if symptoms will wait until the 8th day? Who knows if the SWF will work in 1 hour or 3 hours? And who knows if mental strength will carry for the whole 10+ days?

The first-timer and the veteran have these things in common - the unknown.

Thankfully, the experience under my belt tells me something very important: No matter how hard things get, the benefits will ALWAYS outweigh the mental war. So while I may secretly tremble in my boots, I approach my cleanse with a smile.

When are you starting?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

What Does "Living a Cleansed Life" Have to do with "Stress-Free Living?"

I named this blog "Cleanse Master Remix" because my goal is to address living a healthy life using the Master Cleanse as a single tool. And like many others, I wanted to know, "How do I continue the benefits of the Master Cleanse after my cleanse is over?"

I believe the answer requires the health-conscious to address the Mighty Three - Mind, Body, and Soul. And today, I'm taking aim at STRESS, which applies to the soul and spirit.

Today, I was watching Clean House, which features hopelessly messy pack rats those who can't seem to establish and maintain a neat, harmonious living environment. One commercial break featured yet another diet drug claiming to treat weight gain associated with stress - more specifically the release of the hormone cortisol associated with stress.

During my college studies, I learned in Health and Psychology that cortisol provides critical support for the flight-or-fight response. In other words, when presented with danger, cortisol helps us to do one of two things in an instant (1) stand and fight the threat or (2) evade the danger by fleeing the scene. But living a stressful life extends the release of this hormone which can build to toxic levels. And the human body wasn't built to manage extended release.

According to Advance Health and Life Extension, excessive cortisol levels increase weight gain and makes us susceptible to infections, both major and minor. In other words, "Honey, if you don't manage that stress, you're gonna be one sick overweight puppy."

From a soul and spirit perspective, all that road rage, anger and unforgiveness can be killing you. And don't get me started about the excessive spending, over our budgets, while chasing the Ninetendo Wii at Christmastime.

C'mon. Go with me here. How do you feel when you're stressing about something? Don't you feel like CRAP? What about the times you forgive and go-on with life? Isn't that liberating?

That relief you feel in your mind translates into relieving your body of a toxic environment. Aren't you worth it?

So before you reach for the potentially dangerous diet drugs - like Corticel and other cortisol blockers that supposedly help you manage weight by fighting stress, how about taking a moment to appreciate life and find a little kindness in your heart? Why not forgive your absent parent and stop flipping-off strangers in traffic? Now that, my friends, is living a cleansed life!

Happy Cleansing.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Cleanse Scam (or Not) Alert: Kinoki Foot Pads

Although I'm a major advocate for improved health through natural means, I'm not naive enough to believe that the natural health industry has fewer scams and dangers than the pharmaceutical industry. At least the natural health scams generally involve products that simply don't work - as opposed to dangerous chemicals that flat-out kill... but that's another blog post.

I developed a healthy curiosity about the Kinoki Foot Pads, a product that supposedly helps draw toxins out of the body through the soles of you feet while you sleep. I didn't discount this product at first view because I understand the cycle of toxin-in, toxin-out.

We can digest toxins via (typically bad) food choices. We inhale them from the environment. We even absorb them through the skin via environmental contaminants, cleaning products, and even daily cosmetics.

Toxins exit through similar doors. We honk them from our nose, sweat them through our glands, and flush them away with old-fashioned visits to the Porcelain Throne.

Even emotions can contribute to a toxic environment where stress and strife produce hormones that the body can't handle in large doses.

And while many laugh at us cleanse buffs because the body is already equipped to handle toxins, I still believe we need a little help because we're eating, inhaling and absorbing them at an unhealthy rate - all while producing even more in fits of road rage and Christmas shopping for the Nintendo Wii.

Back to the point...

Knowing we can eliminate toxins via the pores in our largest organ, the skin, I thought Kinoki might be on to something... Well...

According to a Consumerist writeup of an NPR feature, the Kinoki Foot Pads stink like... well... toxic feet.

Reporter Sarah Varney had a lab analyze used Kinoki pads. The scientist reported that the used pads (with all that brown gunk) didn't vary much in chemistry from a fresh new pad. And it stands to reason it's because the pad didn't actually remove any toxins. Even worse, the brown gunk that is supposed to be "toxic waste" also appears when the pad is held above a pot of boiling water.

Some members of the WikiAnswers community weighed-in on the issue. For the most part, the users screamed scam. A few said they felt a little better, some praised the possible placebo effect, and one urged that 'trying the pads was better than turning to pharmeceutical drugs. Read these excerpts for yourself (below) and follow this link for the entire list:

Happy users (with surprisingly dull responses that could use an energy drink):
  • Well I used it once and I felt much better.
  • I was not looking for a cure for anything, so I Im not claiming miracle. I did feel a little better. I have no explanation.
The blessed placebo conspiracy theorists (who clearly had their energy drinks and watch too much X-Files):
  • I have never used them, nor do I think they work. I think many of the testimonials and other positive feedback about them works with the placebo effect. You believe a desired reaction will occur from a treatment, so your body reacts the way you expect it to when you use above said treatment.
  • Who cares if it acts a placebo as long as you "think" it is going to work than that is the end result everyone wants. Does anyone really care how we get healed as long as we are healed? While the placebo effect may result in people feeling better, it has no bearing on the claim that the footpads remove any toxins, therefore any change in toxins cannot be explained by the placebo effect.
The "Why Not" gang (with a serious hit out on the pharmaceutical industry):
  • Why not try? I do not believe there is any published data--proving or disproving--on the Kinoki foot pad approach, but I see no harm in one trying it. Certainly, it would be safer and cheaper than many of the commonly prescribed drugs that cause hundreds of thousands of terrible side effects and early deaths in the United States each year. [excerpt from much longer comment]
My personal opinion having not used the product: There are too many known natural remedies for cleansing the body and promoting health. Of course, I'm a huge fan of the Master Cleanser. There's fruit and veggie cleanses, exercise, excellent herbal remedies, and plain-old better living. There's a 95% chance that I'll pass on this product.

Don't Call It a Comeback ! (I'm Gonna Knock You Out)

Remember the LL Cool J song "Mama Said Knock You Out?" I'm knockin' some stuff out, and it's great to be back here.

Just when you thought I fell off the edge of the earth... here I am. I returned to the blog today after returning to the Yahoo group as a moderator earlier this summer.

::Deep Inhale:: The air sure is clear in the happy zone.

What a journey I've been on since November 2007. High highs. Low lows. And the net result is that I'm a happy camper.

Should I recap for the newcomers?

  • Married November 1999.

  • Husband ran out November 2003.

  • Divorce final July 2004.

  • Husband remarried September 2004 (I knew he was seeing that woman!).

  • Developed some bad... okay, worse... nutritional habits by October 2004 (can you say "comfort food?").

  • Considered reading "The Perfect Murder Manual" til November 2004 (hehe).

  • Discovered the Master Cleanse in October 2005.

  • Overcame the emotional trauma by 2005 through forgiveness, prayer, and growing a set of brass knockers.

  • Cleansed until November 2006.

  • Met a wonderful man in November 2006.

  • Developed more bad habits, mostly associated with enjoying life again.

  • Got engaged April 2007.

  • Been smiling ever since.

  • Started workout training August 6, 2008 (feelin' GREAT, too).

  • Saw a friggin' calf muscle in my leg and detected a knee-cap on August 15, 2008 (wow, I have those?).

  • Resurrected the blog on August 20, 2008.

So. There you have it. My road to cleansing and return to this blog in a nutshell.

I expect to start my next cleanse after a family barbeque scheduled for August 30. Until then, I'll keep bringing health news, personal views, and stage cues... anything to help you and me live a cleansed life.

Happy Cleansing!

PS: Notice the updated pic in the sidebar and profile? That was before a date with my sweetheart - the one who makes me laugh, scream, cry, smile - but mostly love with a happy heart.