Tuesday, March 21, 2006

If My Life Was a Car...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

...I would be sitting firmly in the driver's seat. But a pesky front-seat passenger would have a hand on the steering wheel, fumbling a foot on the pedals, and causing me to swerve off the path.
At least backseat drivers have no real influence. They don't have access to the driver's tools. In fact, backseat drivers only have useless guidance and annoying voices.

But my passenger is sitting in the front of my car. I'm able to keep a general direction, but I find myself drifting, and stopping to repair damage after swerving into obstacles. My pesky passenger is an unreasonable relationship with food. Notice I didn't say FOOD itself?

When was the last time a pie jumped off a plate and down down someone's throat? Food itself has zero influence. It's the crappy choice to invite food into every crevice of life. Joy calls for food. Celebration calls for food. Boredom calls for food. Happiness comes over for a party, and food gets an invitation. In fact, even mourning calls for... you guessed it... food. A drug addict has nothing on a PMSing woman who wants chocolate. NOW.

I decided to consider a time or circumstance where food isn't on the list of invitees, since the food list is so long.

[cue the chirping crickets and hollow echo]

So here I am. Driving my car. I can almost see the destination, or at least a few places I'd love to stop and visit. Mr. Poor Eating Habits causes the trip to stall in all kinds of ways.
  • I'm introduced to migraines at the age of 16
  • I pop up with high cholesterol at the ripe old age of 23
  • I develop digestive problems that require medication in my mid to late 20's
  • Around the same time, I'm on a beta blocker for heart palpitations
  • In my late 20's, I develop menstrual problems
  • And for most of this time, I'm fighting to get to a healthy (and sexy *wink) weight
The list seems to go on forever because I haven't kicked the annoying passenger out of my car... So I stop and pick up another passenger. Good Health Habits climbs into the back of the car. Poor Eating Habits turns around with a scowl. Now they're fighting, and I'm happy to have an extra passenger who's on my side.

My new passenger has a huge bag loaded with weapons. Cleansing/Fasting/Detoxing. Whole and organic food. Lots of water. An attitude that I deserve to win every good blessing.

I'm turning a sharp corner, and the door flies open on Poor Eating Habits' side of the car. He holds on to keep from getting ejected onto the highway. Now if I can only get the seatbelt loose, and add one final swift kick in the...

Rock on,


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