Fe.ar Fac.tor

It's time for another cleanse, and I have the nervous jitters of a school girl. And it isn't even about the fasting, the lemonade, or the butt pee. It's about another attempt to pursue a healthy life that may fall into a bucket of Hot Wings.

I am the first one to admit that a cleanse is faaaaaaar from a magic bullet. But most people, including myself, enter a cleanse with high hopes of continuing a healthier lifestyle. Invariably, the water heater will die, the job will get stressful, or (women) have a period swoop in like a hurricane - - and suddenly Hershey's becomes your best friend.

In the balance of health vs. weight loss... my attitude has changed greatly over the past 10 years. In my 20's, I was more concerned about a dress size than living a long healthy life. And in some cases, I considered sacrificing my health to be a size 6.

But now, I want a long life with my parents, my sons, by sweetheart, and anybody else I was placed on this earth to love and serve.

And because of that, I'll keep my high hopes for the long healthy life that can follow this next cleanse. Fear is not a Factor for me. hehe

I'm Almost Ready for the Lemon Spree

I finally said it out loud. It's finally going to happen. I'm ready for my next cleanse.

But my eyes aren't on my butt. I'm not pinching the extra "love" on my waist. My eye is on the spiritual benefits of fasting. Sure, I won't complain if I come out looking like Moses, with a new glow around my face. But I'm most ready for the prayer and solitude that comes with fasting.

It's amazing that anybody could feel spiritual with all that running to the bathroom. But I must admit, after all the good - the bad - and the ugly is calculated, a successful cleanse is like a breath of fresh air.

More later...

Hiding Under a Rock

I haven't posted since April 3rd. I wonder if it's because I've been hiding under a rock, hoping I didn't have to admit that:

1. Pasta and I recently became friends again and
2. Because of that, I'm still only maintaining the 10.5 pounds that I lost 2 months ago.

With diabetes on both sides of my family, I really can't play around with refined carbohydrates and extra weight on my body. I am blessed to remain in good health, but the underlying concern is always, "How long?"

I recently had a conversation about busy lives and convenience - eating out of boxes, bags, and food joints that value quantity over quality. I don't have a life that affords me hours of Martha Stewart time to prepare top notch meals. But then again, Do I?

Everybody finds time for the things they find important. And if I look at the time I have left at the end of the work day... I wonder if I simply find other things more important.

I typically get home around 6pm (sometimes later)... leaving me a good 3.5 hours before the children must go to bed. I use 1/2 hour of that to detox from the day, and another 1/2 hour dealing with "after school" issues. And perhaps my problem is that I don't want to spend a huge portion of the remaining 2.5 hours in a kitchen.

I am blessed to have a beau who loves to cook and does it well. Yesterday, he prepared a seared steak fried rice with salad. I almost locked my son in the closet when he simply asked, "Dang mom. Why didn't you ever cook like this?" What I do cook is good, but I don't know how to cook steak and forget a rice dish.

So perhaps at the end of the day, living a life of good love and good health is about accepting the help that we're blessed to receive. Whether you have a great partner who shares the chores or a great friend who will be your buddy in the travel to good health - keep running the race until something clicks and you find the balance required to achieve the most important priorities.

Knee Deep in a Bucket of Hot Wings

Well dang. Where have I been? I would say "knee deep in a bucket of hot wings," but the truth is a little worse than that. At least hot wings aren't loaded with processed carbs - which have crept back in to my routine like ants to a picnic.

I have returned to "snacking," although I snack less often than I used to. I also returned to having some soda and eating foods with "white" carbs in them. In spite of my overall habits having improved over the last 3 years, I'm in a health funk.

It's time for the cleanse I've been avoiding since the middle of March. I had a few good excuses going... like my birthday, my sweetheart's birthday, and oh yeah..... the full moon. But now I'm out of options, unless I have a rare disease that requires me to eat Easter Eggs every Easter Sunday or I'll implode.

The real disease is a deadly allergy to bathing suits - especially bikinis - because if I don't get on the move, I won't be stepping a single foot into swim recreation this summer.

The last thing I want to do is make cleansing/fasting/weight loss about appearance. On a certain level, appearance should be a concern. Looking your best (not somebody else's best) is a sign that you have a healthy love for yourself.

But on the most important level, I want to live a long healthy spiritual life that doesn't include a team of medical specialists and a medicine cabinet full of prescription drugs. And oh yeah, I also don't want my future to include a trip thru the roof because only a crane can get me out of the house.

That may sound like an extraordinary exaggeration, but the unhealthy people and severely obese folks didn't just wake up with a mountain of health problems. They're the product of a series of actions (and lack of actions) that multiplied into a big mess. That means the war is fought daily. Today I fight once again as I purchase my lemons (after putting down an old favorite and recent weakness - Andy Capp's Hot Fries). ::sigh:: hehe