From what I gather on the internet, this picture represents a day of shameful stair-scapades for Miss. Thailand. Po' chile. You know she felt like seeping into the floor once the folks on the right finally peeled her off the floor.
Notice how the folks on the left are still in shock and haven't stopped clapping their hands yet? But I digress.
As the current poster child for unhealthy living, that's ME falling down those darned stairs. (Only I wouldn't do it in a short skirt and slingback shoes, but I digress again.)
Just like doctors who smoke and firemen who start fires, I have more-than-average knowledge about health/nutrition and I'm not acting on that knowledge in a positive way.
Ain't that a cryin' shame?
I know one thing. I hope you keep reading this blog. Because if I can get my ish together and get healthy A-N-Y-B-O-D-Y can. Seriously. And all my dirty little laundry along the way will be hanging on a line right here for you to gawk at.
But I'm sitting under a thunder cloud of poor preparation. In the craze of getting the kids ready to return to school, I never made it to the store for my ingredients. So while I was sitting on a mountain like the wise King Solomon... waving my hand to the newbies below and telling them that the best advice is to PREPARE... I was running around like a blind mouse failing at my own preparations.
This weekend, here I come.
Now lemme go read my own advice again since I fell off the side of my wisdom mountain like Humpty Dumpty.
Don't ask me when. Don't ask me why. But in a blog post a loooooong time ago, I challenged my readers to use post-cleanse life to get a grip on food sensitivities and food allergies. Since then, a male coworker happily told me that he tried the experiment and discovered a food allergy.
Here's how it works:
Food sensitivities and full-blown food allergies are tied to medical conditions ranging from irritating rashes to asthma.
And there's a way to start identifying such nuisances on your own - by stripping down to a basic diet and adding one type of food at a time.
And what better time than after a Master Cleanse?
It is very difficult to identify offending foods during the normal daily routine. Imagine the foods you ate in the past week. If just a single food was causing an unpleasant health problem, how in the world would you be able to isolate it?
That's where the Master Cleanse, aka The Gift Horse, comes in...
As you (may already) know, the day after the Master Cleanse begins with orange juice. Then comes vegetable soup. After that, folks' eating habits range from vegetarian to bacon-cheeseburger-tarian. The gloves are off and anything goes. Why not use the valuable time after a cleanse to slowly re-introduce old foods and see if a particular food choice triggers a sensitivity or full-blown allergy?
Folks with ailments such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), asthma, skin conditions and even Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) may find relief from symptoms by eliminating troublesome foods.
And don't you deserve it?
So don't look a gift horse in the mouth. The digestive tract is sparkling clean after a 10-day cleanse. Use that precious time to explore food options and possibly arrest some culprits.
I dedicate this post to Tashia and all the other Master Cleanse newbies who haven't taken the plunge.
What advice can I give to first timers? Here goes my attempt to sound smart and helpful in just two words...
Plan well.
- I can't tell you how many times newbies underestimate the initial lemon purchase. Buy lots. Buy too many. Pretend they're going out of style. Then buy even more than that.
- Don't start without all of the ingredients and pretend you'll make it to the store on the day you begin. That is a serious cleanse-killer, because the trip to the store may be interrupted by a bacon cheeseburger. Or the detour could become the excuse to just "try again another time."
- If you live alone, get rid of your favorite foods. If that means eating them before you start... you can do that too. hehe
- If you cook for a family, like I do, I find planning a menu very helpful. That way, I only buy the food I need for them and don't spend so much time browsing the options.
- Pre-plan what you'll tell those around you, from family to co-workers. Whether on purpose or not, those folks can be major cleanse-killers by offering food or talking about what a "dangerous thing you're doing." Get in the zone and be ready for them.
- You may want to 'cleanse before the cleanse.' Some folks prepare by cleaning-up their act the week before. In our Yahoo! Group, the general consensus is that coffee drinkers have a hard time with detox headaches. If you drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, sippy-sippy on the alcohol or eat a lot of refined carbohydrates, you many want to wean off these things in the days leading to the cleanse.
- And I can't end without recommending our awesome support group at the Yahoo! Mastercleanse group. Don't underestimate the value of talking to other folks going through the same drama as you!
Bonus advice. Measure your lemon juice every single time you mix. Some have 'rule-of-thumb' estimates about the amount of juice a single lemon holds. I measure every single drink, because juice yield can vary. Stanley Burroughs is very clear that the juice measurement is not negotiable for each glass. This isn't Walmart. Cut corners and you'll get what you pay for... And I'm not talking about cheap gadgets painted with toxic materials and flesh-eating rubber sandals.
As always, you can search through my blog posts to find a few more gems... like the priceless value of Bordeaux Butt Paste and the benefits of local bathroom maps. hehe
Happy Cleansing!
