Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Days 4 and 5: Bathroom Antics

Friday, August 4th - Saturday, August 5th

Cleansers never know when their body will drag itself to the bathroom for a Porcelain Throne episode of energetic elimination. If you're thinking about the master cleanse, you have to accept the major unknown of bathroom frequency and urgency. I have a job that can accomodate this unknown. Some of you don't, like toll booth workers and traffic cops. While you're on another unexpected trip to the bathroom, cars are speeding through tolls and cars are piling on top of each other. You may want to consider a veggie cleanse...

On Saturday, I had an unwanted meeting with a public restroom. Just when I thought it was safe to make a grocery run with the boys, the Senna tea flipped the script. I flew from the front door to the back aisle in record time. Thank God the bathroom was clean, because the don't-touch-the-seat-squat doesn't work while cleansing. As I sat there, surveying the bathroom, wondering if there was enough toilet paper to get me through, I could hear the boys standing outside the door. By now, they probably appeared to be abandoned by some lunatic mom who lost it in the produce aisle and fled to Mexico. By the time my visit was over, I was glad nobody was waiting to use the bathroom. I fled the scene by scampering to the deli.

In spite of my toxic entry into the cleanse (i.e. drinking coffee almost everyday), I am not experiencing the terrible headaches that can bring down even the strongest cleanser. Eliminations are going well and I'm enjoying a good night's sleep.

I did get a little snarky with the boys - which is another common cleanse symptom that can't be escaped. I am still having a surprisingly difficult time around solid food. It's difficult to imagine I can still be thinking of food while feeling this great without it.

In spite of Stanley Burrough's recommendation to drink at least 6 glasses of lemonade per day, I'm drinking approximately 4. I'm simply not hungry after 4, and I'd have to force the last 2.

Stanley Burroughs lived decades ago, and he's no longer with us. But if you want to learn more about the cleanse, Peter Glickman runs a site with excellent information. Peter is a long-time cleanser and shares information about cleanse symptoms, common mistakes, and other useful tips.

Rock on.

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2 comments:

BluJewel said...

I've experienced the 0-60 in less than 2 seconds need to elminate! It's a scary event though after the fact it's rather amusing. If they gave Olympic medals for the need to evacuate dash, a few of us would have gold medals. (lol)

Seriously though, your insight and reply to my comment (previous blog) is going to be very helpful in my needing to cleanse without compromising my current need to be on medicine. I'll keep you posted on how it goes for me.

BluJewel said...
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