Day 0: Starting a Cleanse on the Wrong Side of the Bed

Monday, July 31, 2006

I suspect that by tomorrow afternoon, I will wish I'd stayed in bed. In my zeal to be a good example, today I became the example of what-not-to-do when preparing for a cleanse.

I put in 0% preparation for my cleanse that starts tomorrow. I'm trying to put on my pleated skirt, grab my pom-poms, and get the cheering going... but I'm on empty. Let's look at my checklist of preparations:

• Son's birthday resulted in 3 days of cake, ice cream, and leftover junk food.

• Red wine with dinner last night - usually a good healthy choice but not a great way to start a cleanse.

• Coffee for breakfast this AM - which is known to cause killer cleanse headaches if not stopped long before a cleanse begins.
  

• Pasta with chicken and sausage in the fridge for lunch today - knowing carbs are another factor when cleansing.

With a checklist like this, I need to run away to a cleanse farm somewhere on a secluded island. And by virtue of a massive brain-fart, I'm starting this one in the middle of a work week. Ouch.

Flipping the coin - I LOVE A CHALLENGE. I thrive when things are working against me. I shine when little is expected of me. And I throw a mean punch when threatened by an unusual foe.

My unusual start will probably result in some colorful blog entries over the next few days. That is, if I'll still coherent.

Rock on.
See ya tomorrow for Day 1.

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Battleground

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Some of you know that my current battle with a healthy lifestyle comes after the destructive work of eating my way through a divorce. Even as I head for a major comeback after peeling the emotional layers, I have an eye turned to the physical layers. Like a metaphor for the necessary "hibernation" time for recovery, I'm ready to come out of the cave AND the extra layer on my body. This fight is harder than any other, because my rewards for "bad behavior" are so immediate. Here's what I mean:

• Yes, chocolate can cure a long night.

• Yes, the cheesy goodness of a pizza can be a great companion for a long night of bad memories.

• And yes, crunchy snacks are a fun friend for dateless movie rental weekends.

After the emotional recovery, I immediately wanted to kill those habits. Instead of bringing perceived relief, comfort foods feel like the artifact of an old reflex instead of something I really need. And thankfully, habits can be broken. Now that I'm sweeping out the cobwebs and feeling like a new woman on the inside, I'm ready for that "new" feeling to show. It's amazing what junk food does to the skin, the hair - and not so surprising what it does to general health and vibrancy. The cleanse on August 1st feels like the final battleground in this war.

Although I keep taking stabs at the Beast of Bad Habits, August 1st is my declared time for "it slays me or I slay it." I don't expect an all-at-once victory. We're talking about a big beast. But I do expect to leave that beast dying on the ground - unable to deal anymore devastating blows. I'll hang it's head as a trophy once the work is done.

No weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17a)

Disappearing Acts

I certainly know how to pull a disappearing act. I haven't been to this blog in so long, that I had to climb through an unopened window in the back just to get in. The place is dusty, but it's still home.

My next cleanse is scheduled for August 1st. It looks like moderators and members alike have a similar goal at the Yahoo mastercleanse group. I don't think I ever needed a cleanse more than I need one now. When I'm on target with good health, my focus is like a laser beam - burning holes in junk food and destroying midnight snacks. But right now, when somebody says "hole," I only think of donuts. My laser beam is more like a garden hose set on sprinkle. I'm spraying everywhere between snack food and pizza.

The pop-culture induced reliance on food for everything from celebration to self-medication is a scary thing. I'll return to the blog periodically between now and August 1st to whine about preparing for the cleanse. I feel like a baby who just dropped her bottle outside of the stroller and nobody's picking it up. I'm having a tantrum over the fact that magic bullets don't exist to resolve a crappy relationship with food or the weight that follows. The tantrum will be short, but I'd still cover the furniture and clear the room. hehe

Rocking on, (but right now with a slice of pizza in my hand)...

(P.S. Are any other Blogger users slightly annoyed that the Blogger spell checker rejects the word "blog?")